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Not sure if anyone has ever said this to you before, but you are not the only one who feels this way. I've been beating myself up for believing that I have ruined several people's lives. I've been having a really tough time of it since the first week of August.
I'm just thinking of things this way...Just live life for you. Don't worry about what other people have to say because they are going to remember things the way they believe stuff went down. Only you can make you happy.
Just know that you deserve life as much as the next person even if you feel you can't figure out why. It doesn't matter. Just be you.
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