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~~~~~ Dude, I know the feeling. That was me during my entire 20's after I discovered what was planned for me. It took some time (about a decade), but I finally decided to try positive thinking, regardless of my situation, and I found that even though the current event still had to run its course, I was able to put a heartfelt positive spin on it to help me cope. That proved especially necessary during the passing of our mother since I was becoming "Head of the Estate". Short Storytime: Our mother chose to do hospice care at her home and passed away early morning surrounded by loved ones. We informed her Hospice Nurse of her passing and waited for her to arrive before we started final plans. However, knowing the kind of person our mother was, me and my siblings immediately started the process of beneficiary paperwork while her nurse was still there and the funeral home was on the way to pick up the body. The nurse was like we should watch what we say because souls linger after death. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Exactly! If our mother didn't hear us talking about the Will and beneficiary preparation along with the mortgage payoff, she would haunt each of us and then there would be no rest for anyone." We all had a good laugh about it and made sure to address every aspect of the upcoming responsibilities all before the hearse arrived. Our expression of love for our mother helped pull her nurse out of the depression she was starting to sink into and she thanked us for making the transition less traumatic. It was an unavoidable, highly emotional time, but a good attitude and positive thinking goes a long way.

A few hours after incident A few minutes ago upon gaining supplies for mending:

This made me think about the woman I see at my work she is glowing, her aura is absolutely beautiful. I have never seen someone who seemed so close to God (of course God is different to everyone) but, imo whether it be referred to as aura, energy, or vibration, to some or the holy spirit to others, it all boils down to the spiritual realm, to the energy and/or soul inside of us. She talked about her dad in hospice and she mentioned her mom and her passing on hospice and how her dad waited for her to forgive him but he apparently gets visits all the time from his deceased wife's telling him like, for awhile not yet, but lately he said that he's been saying that he's getting ready to go with her so she's been coming to get him and I remember when my great aunt was on hospice, my grandpa and my great aunt's husband who had already passed apparently was there that night and a couple nights prior telling her it's time to go with them. She finally went and just knowing that was what she experienced on her way out is beautiful.

I have been fighting this my entire life, the negative thoughts and feelings. It is pretty magical and beautiful though once you start raising your vibration. Like attracts like so when we're low mood, low energy, in a funk, etc, we vibrate at a lower frequency that's why we seem to get stuck in ruts of what feels like "bad luck" The universe can only respond to the message that it hears, so in our hearts and mind when we think shitty, we feel shitty, and everything kinda becomes shitty because that's the message we put out. Not that bad shit doesn't happen but it's not about the bad and negative things that we experience it's about how we interpret and respond to that. In my opinion, that is. I am starting to get this and practice what I preach. A battle it definitely is.

~~~~~ I hear people say that all the time. They don't feel or they don't believe they are do anything positive due to past actions or behaviors. But you have to know for yourself that that is not true. That is one of the mental prisons we make for ourselves because we try to quantify why bad things happen to us. Past behavior actually has nothing to do with it. Your mindset does, however, and unfortunately, it all comes down to forgiving yourself. That's when people feel they are not worthy of anything positive happening in their lives. But you have to understand and truly know that you are just as worthy of positivity and good things no different than the person who appears to have all the luck in the world. Ok...Inspirational TV spot over... 😆

I think its true what they say that positive thought manifests positive things happening in your life because I've always been a master of negative thought and the results it's manifested speak for themselves... so the same MUST be true for positive thinking. But trying as hard as I possibly can like to the point of straining with the blood vessels popping up in my forehead, i just can't seem to sustain any positive thinking very long. Its like I'm synthesizing a rare and unstable element in my mind, I can create it there in the lab but its fundamental structure breaks down after a few moments and it collapses into a broken pile of negative thoughts, incomplete sentences, and apathy. Damnit mental alchemy is challenging AF.