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Right. Most therapists MSWs that I know, and I know a few, are worth their weight in gold but definitely don’t do it for the money. Much like nursing for the amount of work we do, the money is secondary . We do it because we genuinely give a fuck. Most people in service burn out quick and don’t last if they don’t actually care. Hell we burnout when we do care but it’s normally a slow long burn instead of “fuck this I am out”. I will say it takes the “right” therapist. And some times that is really hard to find. And when you are finally at the stage of “fuck I really need to talk to someone and work my shit out” it’s EXHAUSTING to go from person to person, telling your story over and over to find out their is no connection and fuck this shit. And on top of that have to pay for something that didn’t do shit for you. Access and cost are also a HUGE thing. As long as we have insurance to limit who we can and cannot see, how many times a year we can see them, and have it covered as a “specialty” vs preventative care (which it 100% is I don’t understand the logic at all behind that other then they are greedy bastards) it won’t change. Definitely understand the fear of the grippy sock vibes. That is always scary. In bad times it’s walking a fine line. With the right therapist that knows and understands you though, it can be talked through, other options found and crisis plans made. Is therapy great - nope. Not most of the time anyway. I’ll never forget my son coming up the stairs crying after a session when he was going through a lot of shit …and simply asking if this is the way it will always be - and my response - not always, but a lot of the time. If you’re doing it right. Looking at yourself as the common denominator of all the disappointments and shit in your life is painful. It’s hard. But it’s true. You are the common denominator and only you can change that. You also have the wonderful experience that you are also the common denominator in all your strengths, achievements and joys in life. But when I’m an episode that is tucked far away and you forget those things exist. Depression is a hell of a thing. I will be 100% honest and know there are days I have not been able to get out of bed. There are days even looking at my children I have really truly felt they would be better off without me. The dangers of living where I do and having to literally drive over the Huron multiple times on my 10 min drive to downtown, that voice in the back of my mind “is today the fucking day”. Does therapy fix that -fuck no but it does allow me the coping skills to tell that voice to shut the fuck up for a while. That is the best I can ask for right now. In this moment in time that is enough. Anyone. If you need someone to fucking talk to suicidal or not, just need some support. Please reach out. I work midnights, have 4 kids one of them special needs and run a household. I pretty much never sleep. I am always available. Always doing something, awake at all hours lol. The load is heavy to bare alone. I’m pretty non judgmental, and have active listening down to a science (it makes me a damn good nurse). Sometimes someone just fucking listening, even a stranger, helps. *nods

*let me do it for yooouuuuu

Holy shit. I had to double take because even with Sierra and the phone those eyes are a mini Bren. crazy madness. Apollo. kee. Lumen. Ru. Kona. crazy. just nuts.

It sure is wild and weird to be back here. The kids and I have lived in Michigan for 16 years, now. Sierra will be 28 in July and Ian will be 30 in November. Absolutely wild. Jeff and I are still married, and we bought his childhood home, just two years ago. We’re all working hard and trying to live our best lives. I know that some of you have had the opportunity to meet my children, but probably haven’t seen them since they were 11 and 13. So I thought that I would share. Ian works for UWM and Sierra works for TD Bank, as I do. Jeff (Damaged Goods) owns his own environmental company, now. I think he’ll be hiring soon. Not 100% sure on that. anyway, here are my gorgeous kids

Koshka the food ninja. He shows up out of nowhere when we're eating. He demands a sample of the food. If he doesn't like what we're eating, he looks offended, and demands additional samples and continues to be offended we're eating something he doesn't like. He will also grab food from my hand and run off with it.

This is Buddy. One of two cats that I have. This little guy… When I’m home, sitting at the table eating dinner… Buddy walks by, behind me, on the floor. He jumps up on the counter. Then he jumps up on top of the fridge(which is next to the dinner table). He walks from one side of the fridge to the other… Looks down at me, thinking he’s all slick & sly. Then he does a Bonzai drop onto the table, right in front of my plate. Brazen little rascal.

We have two pit mixes. Silent Bob is 11 and Bulma is about a year and a half. It doesn’t matter what I’m eating or win, but those two will sit in front of any one of us and you can just hear Sarah McLachlan‘s “Angel” in your head. They look so pathetic. But if you looked at both of these dogs, you would know that they definitely get fed.😂 both of the sphinx cats do the same thing. We had a 20 year old sphinx named Iggy, who passed away last July. Both Iggy and Boaz are rescues. The day before he died, he was still fighting us for chicken. He had no teeth and was older than dirt, but it did not stop him. I miss that fucking cat so much.

Kona- Kona wishes for fish in her Kona dog dish.

When Boaz isn’t fighting me for my food, he is staring me down, hoping that I will put it aside and forget that it exists. Show me pictures of the animals that stare you down while you eat.

Indeed lol. the looms face is a thing. “Smile Looms” looms: shit never gets old ❤️

I've been needing a new one for a bit. She's nice and all, but way too positive. I need someone who will just say "yeah, shit sucks" every now and then.

I still hermit.. I don't think I have recovered yet from working in the mental health field and it's been years.

You have to find the right therapist for you. Some will be a good fit, and some won't. And therapy can be really painful and difficult at times...any self reflection is. It's work.

Memories. I wish I actually had permission from flickerto look at Marc’s old pictures lol- but memories non the less … I have zero digital presence anymore. I made myself my own safe bubble with Lumen. I do look Fondly back at laughs with jinxxy. trying on silly hats, drinking too much vodka in the middle of the night till the early morning…both hermit insomniacs Definitely one of the most intelligent beings I have ever met. With the oldest sort of souls. If there was ever a couple in love it was them … just the way they looked at one another- you couldn’t help But tear up. And I did - pretty much through out the day lol. Many memories after at Jinxxys too… safari hats and all ❤️ Life is a weird.

Skyndi Laupurr will literally knock your food out of your hand, while looking you square in the eyes.

Greetings and may I officially Welcome you to DGN! Thank you for your posts and joining in on the various topics the forum has to offer. However, should you find yourself in need of any assistance, please do not hesitate to let us know. And...per tradition: ~~*drum roll please*~~ The DGN (welcome) Questions 2.1 ™ © Formerly the "S.D.G.N.W.Q.P.S." The Standard Detroit Gothic . Net Welcome Questions Polls and Suggestions 1.7b Feel free to ignore anything you feel uncomfortable sharing, don't have the energy for or have covered already. We are just friendly, if a bit nosey. And we ask these same questions fairly often as you may have noticed. Current location? Where from? Gender? Work? School? Kids? Married? Single? Hobbies? How Did You Find / hear about DGN? How did you pick your DGN name? Other Stuff? Additional ideas / questions: Add yourself to the DGN member map! If you live close enough, are old enough (18+ for City Club) and/or are ever in town you may want to check out: "DGN Night" Or you can find out about other events near your area with the The Events Calender Some folk also enjoy our random pot of: Quizzes & Polls ! How did you hear about DGN? Poll And we can always use help finding new friendly people. Help us out and drag em on over! If you have a website / personal journal link to us!

Wow- it’s been 19 years since a SDGN lol but here it goes. Current Location- still Ann Arbor - Not only Ann Arbor but some fluff neighborhood of which I do not belong. Our house and property are large enough for me to have my space and keep away from neighbors though. Just like I like it and Ann Arbor has been awesome for the kids. I look forward to my “crazy old witch” status lol Where From - Los Angeles, Ca - born and raised. Gender - she/her. Work - Crazy ass nurse for a decade +. Come on you all know one. Runs on Red Bull, left over day shift pizza and adrenaline lol School - not currently but I kept trying to talk myself into it now that all the kids are finally in school/school. Kids - 5. Kee, AP, Looms and Ru- human. Kona - fur. I have indeed raised an army. Married - Yep. Funny to someone that use to game with Troy way before he married or even met me. The connects are endless… one day he is going through his Facebook feed and I see that oh so familiar face and the double take of “ummm wait HOW do you know TS!?” Lol and hence an hours long conversation about their ingress times lol Hobbies - painting both acrylic and urban, Cos, over extending myself, horror/sci-fi/ generally fucked up movies, avid vinyl collector, transformation makeup, ever evolving science and math/chemistry aficionado (not a hobby really but a need radiolab addict for almost 20 years ). Film- it’s like a life line. The more odd, fucked up and obscure the better. Being an introvert covid only really killed me in the fact that I could go to the theatre for some time. There is something about last showings in PJs that makes my heart warm. I like to pick something random and learn about it - current bought a table saw and going to rebuild my deck - because I am old With the pythagorean theorem I can build alll THE THINGS . I am also obsessed with Kendall Roy- and look forward to this last episode where he will again fall flat on his face. how did I find out about DGN - funny. Randomly. I had just moved to Hamtramck a few months prior and happened to see Manifestos and thought “that looks like a club I would like” went home, searched up the Detroit goth scene and that brought to a few different hubs- and I picked this one lol But generally my time consisted of Bean, Phee, Dyno/Jane, TA, Marblez, Shade, Jarodaka , luluvox, ,Tomcat, the dark ,onyx, Bren, Wrecky, paper hearts, musterbu, raev,, Pom and later on eternal, jinxxy Candy, pharaoh, Steven, tits, slogo, lords and Knocker (who beyond Phee has the best taste in music and movies I have ever seen). how did I pick my name - it’s my name lol Other stuff - I have used this board to literally relive some pretty interesting parts of my life for the last few days. It’s fucking crazy finding pictures of your 17 year old when he was born… yourself at 24, the memories of punching satans and NBC Mickey ears, baby blankets, friend soulmates getting married, life lines altered, and what not, and the #1 rule of NEVER sitting on the bed at city- Crazy. I have made some amazing lasting friendships over the years here. Troy made that possible, the over abundance of love and support, the dark times and the light. It’s a lot to take in all at once. I don’t really do funerals, I think really the last time everyone here I wanted to see was in the same room was for Jixxy and Wrecks wedding which was over a decade ago because Apollo is 13 lol. Minus a few. I definitely have cognitive dissonance but I am truly forever grateful. For everything. Without DGN I would definitely not have stayed here. Without Keegan I would have never remained clean (woot come up on 20 years!) and without DGN there would be no Keegan soooo. Yeah. It’s not just a mark this place has left on me. It’s my life in its entirety. It’s just a little insane…Again grateful but soooo much to take in all at once. And now ends the Eternal length post I think I’m done

OK, so it’s not just me being pissed off about it. Thank goodness lol

It's invite only.

Are you Bean naughty?

I definitely heard this in Apollos voice - it’s the Bruh lol

Bruh, I'm a collaborator now 🤣

Never bean. Unless you're adding hot water to said bean. Then always bean.

Welcome back indeed, Meg

To Bean, or not to Bean...

hey meg, welcome back!

Holy shit @Not_Bean - that moment when you realized Bren only had 6 at some point. I will continue on and find me and you . This is crazy lol

Welcome to our home 🙂