Troy Spiral

Yeah. If you have Medicaid you sort of auto qualify for Medicare since Medicaid is for ultra broke people. Medicare is something even people that have decent money use.

Right now its too big a risk for most people and will remain so for quite awhile. Yeah, the gathering being dead for now is something that has kept me up for 2 days. *hugs* (Yep hugs) I'm thinking about making 'in memoriam' of the gathering cards every week anyhow and just saving them for the $20+ patreon patrons as normal. Having a huge pile to hand out when society returns to its normal level of insanity. ( Https://HoueSpiral.com/Patreon ) Also, now my health workers have been told (as of today) they can't come to my house. Which, is one of the main things keeping me alive. Also due to how my Medicaid works ill be kicked out of most doctors, I go to as my Medicaid is only active when said heath care workers listed above fight to keep it active for me its a huge paperwork monstrosity (I have what's called a 'spendown' im possible for me to do alone. It's a battle every single month. And I keep worrying about 'just' having to skip meds every other month. (That last is just normal) What im going to do without doctors at all I have no clue.

Thanks for taking the time to post. Means a lot. One particular person has told me like 10 times they were going to post and still has not. Boggles my mind. JUST STOP SAYING IT. lol

Thanks to all three of you for replying. Thanks to tron for everything.

Thank you for taking the time to reply!

2 people? Thanks @Nitewolf and @sekhmet2002. @TronRP if you want to see.

Sorry about the paramedics. I didn't mean to scare anyone. Im so grateful when people take the time to show up at the gathering, seriously. 🙏✊ Thanks *ALSO* to the few that will read this. We used to write these bizarre things called 'Letters' that were PAGES long. Crazy huh? ✍🤪... I know we are all busy in this culture of scarcity. This is a time in history when we are absolutely rock bottom in terms of socializing. It takes effort. Modern life is stacked against actual real meetups that don't have dancing bears (entertainment). Worse, even when we DO meet, some people value their PHONE over humanity. Would have seemed laughable even 20 years ago.... I fell PROBABLY due to exhaustion. But it's hard to tell. I fall probably once every week or two due to blood pressure/blood sugar or horrendous insomnia just flicks a switch (PTSD related). I felt fine when I walked in. I blacked out and when I came to I felt more than one person holding me. Since I'm a lumberjack size it had to be a quick-thinking J Wolfgang Dark🤗 with help from others Jesse Ewing I'm just guessing. 🤗and I assume the (smart suggestion) I'm barely heard of 'go down slow' was Bobbi Wolfe. I know it sounds selfish as hell but I felt good all things considered... ❤ I thought 'So this is what people actually giving a shit feels like (physically, in meatspace) rather than just words' (We can wipe our asses with 'wishes') While I was essentially being 'helped down' rather than busting my head on something. Disorienting, but the greater meaning was not lost on me. ❤ I have so many @jennifers on my friend's list I want to thank 'Jenn' for coming! But I don't know her last name or if she is on DGN. Hopefully, it won't be the last time she comes Glad William Neuman and Ian Smith were able to make it. As well, of course, Rachel Gunnink Annamarie Moore. I actually had brief notes in my planner I wanted to remember to talk to everyone above and Jennifer MacPherson Mike Brown Michelle Mohr Stu Chisholm Maureen Falcon. Sorry, you couldn't make it. No that doesn't pressure. I'm just letting you know you were missed.

Posting this here for @TronRP specifically. (Secret reason)

Sorry to hear that! *hugs*

Thanks for posting this @sekhmet2002. I literally may stop making the cards if the replies continue to be so few here.

Really guys it's so sweet. People often say they'd like to help but this is just. ❤❤❤❤

Ok this is pathetic. Literally only making cards for people that ask here or people are on patreon. (And Nitewolf who I grandfather in as a "Patreon Patron".

I thought about making "criteria" for the vote and decided against it just to see how people would think about it. Dragons not being real is an issue. Assuming they are real they would win in a fight against "modern" robots, but not the super high tech sort (also don't exist). But, are we voting on their combat ability? Cuteness? Popularity? Each must decide this deep question for themselves. Ha.

I love puzzles although typically the more "3D" kind such as Perplexus (everyone needs a perplexus) or the wooden "omg I broke it" type ones.

I think about it like : I'm a man I know. But I do use some minimal makeup. Well "tinted moisturizer" which is sort of a super light foundation (Neutrogena) and whatever random eyeliner type stuff happens to be around. Specifically so its easy to take off later and really fast to put on. Whatever "Toner" is seems to take it all off in a flash, I have random el-cheapo bottles of it that I get randomly at stores on clearance or "unboxed" type things online which are dirt cheap. Daily I finally settled on Aveeno Brightening Scrub Clenser and Neutrogena Hylouronic acid moisturizer. Major spelling errors above. Need to get the gathering cards done... lol skipping the proofread. I stopped trying to put on a pound of makeup due to some of the above concerns. But doing NOTHING seems like a wasted opportunity. Minimal makeup can just make you look a LOT better without much work. I applaud the people that go for the gold and actually really do their makeup and clothes properly on a regular basis. I probably would if I was female. But there is only so much I can do without looking like a circus clown as a male.

You are probably your worst critic, most of us are. Plus it gets confusing as we don't even KNOW what we don't know. I worry about this pretty much every day. Not as much as in the past, when I could barely even have my own thoughts or life. Got to the point of feeling like I did't even know who I was independent of all these dependent type people. Just running around in circles putting out fires all the time was 90% of my life. It sucked. (Crazy part is half of me would rather have that crappy situation BACK rather than this "Loser" situation I'm in. But, never even getting to "try" things that were frowned upon by most of my family for decade after decade? Nope. Done with that. Only get one life. But you have to not let YOURSELF down. You can't be a parent and a child to the same people. You are their boss or at a minimum their equal. The needy are at your mercy. Not the other way around as I somehow got it in my head. You especially don't have to put up with much nonsense from dependents. If they don't like it that is their misfortune. Oh you don't like that I want to do <X> thing? Well then.... that is an opportunity for growth for them or to shut up. So win-win. The problem is once we are on the treadmill of "fixing everything" its very hard to get off and just explore our own lives and enjoyment. Living like a indentured servant to others will kill or cripple anyone eventually. That lets EVERYONE down. The trick is (or so I'm told) to carve out time to do things outside your comfort zone that you might enjoy and explore them. Less time on the treadmill. Easier said than done I know. I miss ya much, I really miss you much. *Squeeeeze*

A mixture of hope and dread. Hope that I can keep doing the house spiral / YouTube channel stuff and maybe eventually make a living from YouTube and who knows maybe one day we could have an actual "Club" as in like a nice goth bar with of course an attached dungeon. 20 years ago that was actually my plan minus the YouTube. It would probably have been feasible with the money I was just STARTING to make at Ford (98K the day of the car accident). But now that its January again I have to pay for all my meds again as I'm no longer "Catastrophic" which doesn't kick in until like June. So that is $38 MORE dollars I cant afford. Plus I'm already worried about having to quit YouTube. As a job possibility anyway. The old way I used to make videos would never cut it now. YT is too competitive. It was "just for fun" with no schedule before. (and no chance at any income). I've tried 8 times to go back to work of all different sorts but the schedule was the problem. With YouTube its far more flexible than any job I can conceive of and I don't have to deal TOO much with the PTSD. Plus it feels like I'm actually contributing to society from all the positive feedback I get. Just now with the in the last year or so massive insomnia its harder. I'm actively trying to work on it every conceivable way. I'm like a Jedi Master of Sleep Hygiene now (Valerian Root is crap, Melanin as a TINY benefit no matter how much I take. Cleaning the C-Pap machine every damn day is fuuuuuun! Blackout window blinds, used money I don't have to get a better bed, trying hard to get my sleep/wake cycle on track. Exersizing almost every day when the insomnia will let me. Trying to eat better. (I'm on less meds now than I was a year ago). Just feels like a constant dangling guillotine over my head with the damn bills! Its not like the "Old" bills that if something went crazy I could dip into my now non-existent savings or credit. I literally just cannot pay certain things. The Photoshop/Premiere Pro product bundle that you basically "need" to do good videos is just slightly less than the meds. GAH. Well the show must go on. I'll figure something out. Just wish I could still rob Peter to pay Paul. But Peter left town and Paul isn't talking to me. lol Gotta just keep going to the gathering and making the videos. Gives me something to be hopeful about. If that dies I'm not sure any of my self-help stuff will hold out for long. I need to feel useful and productive. After 15 years of looking this is what I came up with after many failed attempts. Seems promising but also precarious.

Thanks @sekhmet2002 @NocteSpiritus and @kat . Most of all @TronRP !

Well this week is going to be an embarrassing turnout. They DGN School of Arcane Mysteries can tell via the omens. Two card requests = shite turnout. Ha.

Thanks for taking the time to reply @NocteSpiritus @sekhmet2002 @Nitewolf .

This means you @Draco1958 @Nitewolf <--- hassle these guys. Also Stu. @Stu @Moe Falcon will probably not have the issues worked out by then I know. 😞

No shit. Wow. Thanks for the heads up.

So it'll be Bobbi and I +3 others is the guesstimate. This thread is sort of place to "HS Gathering Attendance Omen Thread"

Just as an aside mostly to Tron, that image width above is theoretically optimized for all mobile devices per the eggheads at Facebook. Not that anything can be perfect given all the different resolutions devices have. Also that "NOT AGAINST:" line is the final answer on "What is it that I'd expcet all HS "members" to be on board with going forward. That is they just might be self-identified as in "I heard about this thing... what is it that its for exactly?" *reads this post* ....oh ok. Yep that is me I'm in House Spiral. Sort of a "very extended family". Then there are people that actually are like the aforementioned person but also help us out in some way even if its simple these I would call "House Spiral Members" but not HSH / Core. "House Spiral Household" or "Core Members" which are actual family. That i'd expect all of the above plus making an effort to behave as "good family" would in the sense of helping us out in some way, contacting each other at least minimally every month or so, and at least 2 of us agreeing that we can they know the person well enough that we can all trust this person. We don't want to have to drag anyone into it. If they aren't interested then we aren't either. The official HSH Cannon List at the moment as of 1/8/2020 is: Tron Bobbi Jesse Troy Ian Draco Stu Maureen AnnaMarie is probably INC soon. Perhaps J also and a few others Then "members" like Trene Kat Micheal Sweeney Chelz J Wolfgang ...ton of others I just cant type out at the moment. Other people that previously were considered HSH are now "Members" as if they can't be bothered to contact me in a YEAR despite me trying... sorry. Also if they have deeply held beliefs that are directly against what we theoretically are at least "tolerant" of then that is not the "best family" , still family but not part of the core group yet or anymore. If you are reading this and WANT IN? Ask. That is just a bare minimum assumption. I don't want to list you as a member of something you never asked to be part of.