Scales

A perpetual state of confusion mixed with depression, happiness, cynicism, optimism, nacho bel grande cravings.. I don't know what I'm doing. Like my sleep schedule is all messed up, like I stayed up all night and mixed a song in three hours.

That's very Fivist of you! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ..........................5 WORDS! 1, 2, 3, 8, 5!Ah, ah, ah! Only one man can save Sesame Street from The Count's homicidal tirade...

5 (..at a strict font size of 7.) Now here is a picture that has absolutely nothing to do with the previous argument.

Fleshing out and working on a story I want to get published.

I've been through social anxiety for a long time, the depression snuck up on me and really hit me hard in high school and from there on out. My dad used to have anger problems but was mainly verbally abusive, he's toned down now and I don't talk to him beyond short formalities; seeing him is like seeing a stranger in the street, there is no connection and in his case there won't ever be one.. it's definitely strange, but this has been the best way to remind him not to make the same mistake with my siblings and there's no undoing it now. In the past couple of years I've went through a lot of hell. I was almost completely immobilized by depression. I had a romantic interest that didn't work out and left me a wreck which led to having more nervous breakdowns then I can count, usually nightly. I cut hundreds of times, and ultimately gave it up because my mental pain outweighed the endorphins my brain could produce. I've been close to suicide and institutionalizing myself, I know what that brand of hopelessness is like. I've been through two anti-depressants just this year alone, the generic for Paxil and Wellbutrin, as well as Paxil withdrawal. Overall, all of these things have made me a stronger, more-collected person. I'm not perfect and I'm not ever out of the thick of negativity permanently. Though I think as time goes the more I've grown stronger and more self-actualized. If you still think you need it, I wish you luck on whatever route you decide to take getting help.

A little crappy, but motivated. A nasty death. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serotonin_syndrome

The Arcade Fire - Neighborhood 3# (Power Out) I woke up with the power out, nothing something to shout about. Ice has covered up my parents hands don't have any dreams don't have any plans. I went out into the night, I went out to find some light. Kids are swingin' from the power lines, nobody's home, so nobody minds. I woke up on the darkest night, neighbors all were shoutin' that they found the light. (We found the light) Shadows jumpin' all over the walls some of them big, some of them small. I went out into the night. I went out to pick a fight with anyone. Light a candle for the kids, Jesus Christ don't keep it hid! Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo! Ice has covered up my parents hands don't have any dreams, don't have any plans. Growin' up in some strange storm, nobody's cold, nobody's warm. I went out into the night, I went out to find some light. Kids are dyin' out in the snow, look at them go, look at them go! Woohoo!(3x) WOO! Woohoo!(3x) And the power's out in the heart of man, take it from your heart put in your hand.(hand) What's the plan? What's the plan? Is it a dream? Is it a lie? I think I'll let you decide. Just light a candle for the kids, Jesus Christ don't keep it hid! Cause nothin's hid, from us kids! You ain't foolin' nobody with the lights out! Woohoo!(2x) And the power's out in the heart of man, take it from your heart put in your hand. And there's something wrong in the heart of man, Take it from your heart and put it in your hand! (hand!)(the lights out!)(hand!)(right now!)(hand!)

******************* *Thank_You_Good Sir_* ******************* -------..............................|.........| ........|................------------...----- ........|...............|.............?...|..... ........-------........-------.....?...|..... ................|...............|.....?...|..... ____.........|...............|.....?...---... ......|.........-------.......|.....?....../.. ......|................|........-------.../.... ......----------.....|.............../...|.... ..................|.....-------.......\...\.... ..................|.............|....../.....>.. ............------.............|......\...<.... ........../......................-------....>.. ......../................................|..<... ....../.........._____..............|.....>.. ..../............|.......|..............-------- ../..............|.......|.......................| /................|..|.......................|

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Boredom and caffeine withdrawal.

Calm, confused, in control, a little motivated, a little not, undecided, like not finishing sentences,

A substance that could cause massive weight gain in any living creature, threatening America with collapsing through the ground..

Alright. Like I start taking Wellbutrin this weekend on top of Prevacid.

The Arcade Fire - No Cars Go We know a place where no planes go We know a place where no ships go (Hey!) No cars go (Hey!) No cars go Where we know We know a place no space ships go We know a place where no subs go (Hey!) No cars go (Hey!) No cars go Where we know (Hey!) (Hey!) (Mom, Dad!) (No go!) (Hey!) Us kids know (Hey!) No cars go Where we know Between the click of the light and the start of the dream [4x] --- I rediscovered this band last night and I am very happy about it.

Hoping.