Scales

I deleted my account on nkm2 and accounts on myspace, put too much out there and then went into withdrawal mode because of it. I like to test my limitations. Nkm2 is still a great organization. To Write Love On Her Arms seems to have the most youth following for a mental health organization despite being Judeo-Christian and having a female-based title so they honestly anger me (mostly for the religious injection) but I have to respect their following. I haven't heard of Powerday, but I checked out the website for it and it looks interesting.

Looking through everything by M83.

I can't even mentally process its pristine wonder anymore.

I've previously mentioned that violet is my favorite color, though rarely as most people have to be a pain about it. I really thought this was some gag.. I did not expect to go to this site and hear Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds "Straight To You" while a banner of different purple hues cascaded down with the words "Purple.com" or the cinematic sequence that followed after.. I can't seem to get off this site. I may be affected for a very long time.

"Don't think dude. The less you think the more things work out and the more you get done." "Playlist.com revamped themselves, I'm liking it. Too bad there's still limited music and a 200 track limit to playlists."

I have things I think are messed up. But I really don't have a catalyst other than maybe truth-seeking and depression for making me feel like I'm losing it. I guess loneliness and anxiety work in collaboration and play a role. If I see something traumatic, that trauma will eventually heal at least somewhat. Whereas, seeking greater truth about life is an ongoing process to me.

People Love That You Are Responsible and Dependable You're the type of person who can make decisions easily, and you don't mind leading or directing people. It's likely that you're friends look to you to figure out what to do when you get together. It may feel like a burden, but take it as a complement. Your friends also know that they can turn to in times of crisis or deep trouble. You can help out in an effective manor. Your pals may complain every now and then that you're a little too responsible, especially when you want to call it a night early. In the end, though, they appreciate that they can count on you. What Do People Love About You? Blogthings: If Quizzes Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Take Quizzes

Fulfillment, harmony, and mellowness.

..but its November.. ..shit.

Making new music, drinking Pepsi, procrastinating writing, and messing with drums which is the part I am least coordinated at and need for this song.

That was heroic. Most people can't even make it out of their coffins, let alone walk through the front door.

Right now good Dizi (chinese flute), Armenian Duduk (ancient woodwind), and Stradivari Violin VSTi's as opposed to instruments, and a good microphone for baritone vocals.

There are a lot of different prospective places to do meditation.. I really don't care for any of the alternatives to it and I definitely want to do some long sessions of meditation. >.>

If going by personal goals for nanowrimo, by the end of today I am supposed to have 12,000 words. I only have typed out 6,000.. argh.. Should make beef soup and go hunt for caffeine.

>.> I just finished mixing a song called 'Undying Empathy', and last night, 'Dark Mysticism'. Now just listening to the new track and contemplating stuff.. at 3:00 A.M. in the morning.

I feel fixed on different goals, and trying to focus less on the past and more on the endless moment.

I dislike long drives, I'm bad with directions. I got lost six or seven times coming to and leaving EMU. This weekend exhausted and fried me. I'm done drinking for a long time out of necessity though I had a lot of fun. I shouldn't of deleted my band myspace so hastily because now I lost a bunch of good musicians who added me that I won't remember. While I praise critical thinking, its from depressive irrationality that meditation as silent awareness of the present, thought, sense, and emotion is rational as my problematic fallback and therapist. I'm also thinking I need to go start on NaNoWriMo.

Need to withdrawal from everything and just meditate.

Greetings.