know_buddy_kares

I'm back. Kinda. Kinda had a mental breakdown since late March. Oddly enough once I got the fuck over it my lady friend ditched me. Funny shit really, like ok you healed me then fucked off? Well thanks.. I think.. Place is deader than my soul these past few months. Maybe I oughta play some Backstreet Boys and defile some graves in necroposting? Nothing like a small bit of controversy to get this place alive..ish again!

Once I get off work, I got to get to the phone store to get my girl's and my phone lines into a family plan to reduce the bill. Then some last minute grooming touch ups (hair cut) and then straight to dinner for kids, bath, put them to bed early, and go to bed early myself. Tomorrow is the day I get to see her and I'm absolutely anxious as hell. Got the whole day planned tomorrow. I absolutely cannot wait!

Absolutely excited and riddled with anxiety. My lady friend decided it's time we finally meet up. Plans are this Friday. Head spinning, so much to do to prepare! Heart racing, I've been hoping this since April. My soul is soaring through the sky though. I finally get to see her. She's become the most important person since helping me not want to take a carbon monoxide nappypoo. I swear she's gonna get the biggest and longest hug from me ever. I will be floating this entire week. Even feral kid and throwing food on the walls last night didn't bother me one bit. I get to see her. That's all that really matters this week. I'll be floating this whole week now.

My lady friend just got her papers sent to her home state for her car title. Next up is her registration, and even she is having a hard time hiding her eagerness to meet up finally. I'm all excited over here. Like holy shit I finally get to see this angel soon! No expectations past that, but man I'm happy it's finally going to happen!!

That part. Most the initial reason I do anything is either directly or indirectly for my kids. Also while my lady friend has me on cloud 9, I want to do what improvements I can whike she gives me the strength and drive to do the self work that was prevuously overwhelming so in case things dont work out down the road, ill be better equipped to handle it. But so far this girl has me feeling all sorts of amazing things and is starting out quite well for the talking stage.

Been slowly feeling healthier and healthier since I just quit soda cold turkey. Think it's been 3.. maybe 4 weeks now. Smoking is going to be next in a month, maybe two. But I'm already feeling great. Stable moods, more energy. I'm actually happy.

My lady friend expressed interest in meeting me. Feeling all the emotions, all at once.

Holy shit. I'm so sorry. I felt every word of this. Expected or not makes no difference. I struggle with the fact my kids don't have a mother, I spent a lot of time hurting about that, so I totally empathize by proxy. I'm here for you.

Yeah haven't seen her around in a while now that I come to think of it. Hoping she's alright and having a great birthday today!

Feeling naturally better. I already lost count on the actual days, but it's been over a week since I changed up my diet from coffee in the morning and Mt. Dew for the rest of the day. I actually wake up easier with breakfast tea, and it seems to set the tone for me to drink water the rest of the day with an occasional sports drink. I'm already feeling more energetic, emotionally stable, no horrible coffee shits, and my pants are starting to get a little loose around the waist. I feel like I'm getting younger when it comes to energy and moods. Way less prone to depression and feeling tired.

The work required to help her reach her goals would be so much easier if we lived closer where I could see her on the regular. But, moving in with me is a growing possibility also.

Postponing my stock due diligence to take this learned skill and apply it to learning how to grow an onlyfans and target where the bigger spenders are likely to be. Apps involved to help her work smarter, not harder, social media reach, etc. The rabbit hole goes deep, but I've been motivating her so far, and I want to help keep her momentum going.

Life and my lady friend have been taking all my attention. Been able to work on myself more within just these two short months than I have been able to do for the past 2 years. I've been pretty damn happy lately. So don't let me absense worry you all. Just living life.

This year just keeps getting better and better. We need to update this title to Trump Convicted.... Again... 🤣🤣🤣💀💀😤

Taking full advantage of a day off to get caught up on adulting paperwork. May have time to game later on too.

Sitting on shift trying to look up mental health resources. A lot of indirectly relevant topics, but the resources I'm after seem to be for women only, nothing for men who have been in situations like mine, well, nothing past social media accounts that aren't anything legit. But hey, I see all about why the suicide rate in men are so damn high because of this issue. Fucking humanity 😂

Cautiously optimistic. Been struggling hard since April on terms of mental health. Kept tripping and falling while struggling to walk. Shit kept lingering, not letting me go, and tripping me up until I finally crashed hard a few days ago. My companion didn't leave me alone at least, things could have been way worse. This is like the 3rd time she wouldn't let me slip away since we started really talking early March. Like she doesn't owe me this, and I'm cringe and send off all sorts of false red flags during these moments, but like she seen and understood somehow, and stepped up when she didn't even have to. I don't know what we'll become, but I swear to fuck I'm not ever leaving her side now. I feel absolutely safe and comfortable with her, something that I thought would be impossible for me to ever feel for someone again. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I'll be alright. I have her to thank for it.

Taking a break. I just finished 2 days worth of absolute intensive (moving appliances and furniture around) cleaning of the entire apartment. After the break I'm going to prep for dinner.

Looking up date ideas based on recent milestones. Oops, we did it again today.

Oh man. Pet deaths always rip me up the worst. I know what you're going through. But it is a dark and beautiful thing you were able to give her a comforting and loving passing. I saved the screenshot of it because I'm a degenerate, but will share it with you to add the humor. No joke, this girl and I might not be ready to date or be in a relationship by any means, but we do a damn good job of acting like we are 😂.

Yeah insurance is fucking ridiculous here. Paying the same amount for liability, what I did for full coverage back in 2004. I just opted to not have insurance now, and told the company expressly so. Like not an accident or traffic fine in over 7 years, but gotta pay $121 a month. The fuck happened here?

They already have. As soon as I thought it was safe to take a poo, no sooner do I sit on the toilet, I get a message from her saying she's pooping too at like 9am this morning.

I'm also pretty hyped for Palantir earnings tomorrow and Robinhood earnings Wednesday. Expecting a good week.

I'm at the stage where me and this special girl are telling each other when we're pooping. If this isn't love I don't want to know what love is!

On an 8 hour shift with absolutely fuck all to do again. There's only so much digging and researching to do on my stock positions, still taking a huge break from social media (at least Facebook) and Twitter girl got jealous as fuck and blocked me on Twitter. Fucking weird, but now I got one less person to bullshit with on these boring ass shifts. So just sat here thinking of things to occupy my time with.