Burrich1

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Epic Fail: ----

Was just watching reruns of Mentally Undressing Hot Japanese Chicks on Spike.

I'm not sure this is a fail. Looks like someone got lucky on the hood of the car... -2 points...

And it starts... Sometime around midnight Or at least that's when You lose yourself For a minute or two As you stand... Under the barlights And the band plays some song About forgetting yourself for a while And the piano's this melancholy soundcheck To her smile And that white dress she's wearing You haven't seen her For a while But you know... That she's watching She's laughing, she's turning She's holding her tonic like a crux The room suddenly spinning She walks up and asks how you are So you can smell her perfume You can see her lying naked in your arms And so there's a change... In your emotions And all of these memories come rushing Like feral waves to your mind Of the curl of your bodies Like two perfect circles entwined And you feel hopeless, and homeless And lost in the haze Of the wine And she leaves... With someone you don't know But she makes sure you saw her She looks right at you and bolts As she walks out the door Your blood boiling Your stomach in ropes And when your friends say what is it You look like you've seen a ghost And you walk... Under the streetlights And you're too drunk to notice That everyone is staring at you And you so care what you look like The world is falling Around you You just have to see her You just have to see her You just have to see her You just have to see her You just have to see her And you know that she'll break you In two

Fischerspooner's Megacolon

Granted!!! You post an ad on Craig's List trying to get someone to take you to Tastefest. It is answered by one Armin Meiwes, who has a history of answering such ads. After you guys chat, you get to know him a little better. Liking his uniquely refreshing freakish style, you decide to go with him. You have a great time, sample a little bit of everything. Armin spends the whole time nodding, smiling, and saying it's good, but not as good as what he's making in the crock pot back home. After a long enjoyable day, you go back to Armin's place, where you sample a little bit of something that tastes like veal. It's mediocre at best, and not up to all the hype Armin has given it. When you tell him you don't really care for veal, he informs you it's actually Bernd Jürgen Brandes, whom he recently killed and has been eating. You laugh, and say you don't believe him. He takes you into his "slaughter room" where he moves aside a few Star Trek books and a knife and opens the freezer. Your knees weaken and your bowels turn to water as you realize he was telling the truth. Fortunately, you don't have time to gasp as Armin stabs you in the throat with the knife and hangs you on the same meat hook Bernd ended up on. I wish I needed less sleep at night.

Nugiperous

Is being followed by the Canadian Security Intelligence Service due to a misunderstanding involving smuggling fruit across the international border.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of a percentile "to hit" system vs a d20 "to hit" system.

The only thing I would do is get some hair removed from some places I don't want hair anymore.

Spent months designing and building the wind turbine outside the pyramid to power the wii for my evening of undead bowling and laundry.

This song makes me tear up every time I hear it. It's originally by Woody Guthrie, but he sings it way to fast. His son, Arlo does it way more poignant in his slow long drawn out way. Unfortunately, I can’t find his version anywhere online. This dude does a fair job. Incidentally, I lived a few miles from the theatre in the song for over three years. Also, I believe it's the reason it's illegal to yell "fire" in a crowded theatre. 1913 Massacre Take a trip with me in 1913, To Calumet, Michigan, in the copper country. I will take you to a place called Italian Hall, Where the miners are having their big Christmas ball. I will take you in a door and up a high stairs, Singing and dancing is heard everywhere, I will let you shake hands with the people you see, And watch the kids dance around the big Christmas tree. You ask about work and you ask about pay, They'll tell you they make less than a dollar a day, Working the copper claims, risking their lives, So it's fun to spend Christmas with children and wives. There's talking and laughing and songs in the air, And the spirit of Christmas is there everywhere, Before you know it you're friends with us all, And you're dancing around and around in the hall. Well a little girl sits down by the Christmas tree lights, To play the piano so you gotta keep quiet, To hear all this fun you would not realize, That the copper boss' thug men are milling outside. The copper boss' thugs stuck their heads in the door, One of them yelled and he screamed, "there's a fire," A lady she hollered, "there's no such a thing. Keep on with your party, there's no such thing." A few people rushed and it was only a few, "It's just the thugs and the scabs fooling you," A man grabbed his daughter and carried her down, But the thugs held the door and he could not get out. And then others followed, a hundred or more, But most everybody remained on the floor, The gun thugs they laughed at their murderous joke, While the children were smothered on the stairs by the door. Such a terrible sight I never did see, We carried our children back up to their tree, The scabs outside still laughed at their spree, And the children that died there were seventy-three. The piano played a slow funeral tune, And the town was lit up by a cold Christmas moon, The parents they cried and the miners they moaned, "See what your greed for money has done."

Was blinded by the flash of the lightbulb cause CotN only started maybe growing his hair back today.

Should be informed that an almost the same degree of splatness can occur by running said cabbages over with his truck. In case he is ever interested, that is, or happens across a cabbage patch and chooses to take out his aggressions while in his truck.

Could stand to learn a little more about cabbage...

Hello and welcome fellow east sider.

Is correct on all counts except for the parts about cabbages, which when have achieved their proper level of ripeness, make a most satisfying splat when they are launched at anything. Bowling pins included.

Has once again posted faster than I in the Get to Know You Game, despite my measly precautions.

Nothing at the moment, but best wishes navigating the mental hurdle. You’re a good guy CotN. Incidentally, is it the self inflicted near baldness on your mind that's bothering you?