GothicRavenGoddess

Rejected, dejected, kinda depressed, and a little high. (high on ultram. I love how it makes me high, long after the pain killer part has worn off lol) anyways...

The mobile version of this site is nifty. It's very pale though. But it makes it easy to post lol I'm not fully back. Just logged in and poking around.

Well... Back on the market I suppose. Nothing ever works out. And recently, it's nothing that -I've- done. I was hoping to break the cycle, and just when I thought I had, I end up with nothing still... YAY! Ugh -_- I've been entertaining the idea of looking into buying an old ass house on a hill... Adding lots of ivy an letting it sit empty for a few years... Then one night, move in. Then collect some cats. Add some fake headstones to the backyard... Don a stereotypical pointed hat. Perfect a cackle... You know. Something out of a movie. It'll be epic. Anyways. Not really looking for anything. Just thought I'd log in and post, since I haven't been here in a while.

Facebook....

ugh... the only person who showed any interest was someone who's 2 years younger than my mom. Talk about creepy. My mom and I are 20 years apart... ugh.... >_<

lol no worries. But I do get that the "forever" idea -is- usually associated with monogamy lol so it wasn't too far an out there assumption.

Who said anything about monogamy? lol I know there are probably plenty of groups of people who desire to stay with their spouses/gfs/bfs for "forever". "Forever" isn't just monogamy specific

I really love our friendship. I'm so thankful to have such a wonderful person, for a friend. ^_^

And I'm totally over it. I knew I would be Just had a moment of loss, and that was it. He's not the type to leave his friends behind, so even though the sex will stop, if things work out with the lady he's talking to, our friendship won't. And really, that's all that matters.

Feeling a bit rejected. I know how to handle a FWB situation... I've just had a crush on this guy since I've met him. (About a year ago.) The added sex did't make my crush stronger though. Its pretty steady. I knew what this was, when we agreed to have sex as just friends, but I can't help but feel a bit jealous of a lady he's been chatting with, lately. Not because she might get him and I probably never will... Its not that at all. I don't wanna give up the sex. Its such amazing sex. Who thought that sex between two people, who seem to have no romantic chemistry at all, could be so good???? ah well. If this thing works out with this lady, I will miss the late night visits... Even if we never started having sex, I'd still miss the visits... because he's pretty much the only person who bothers to come and see me.... Even with all this... I still feel a bit sad. :( I want to be happy for him. He deserves it... But it just goes with what I've been saying "fuck me and you'll end up finding someone"... its never me, though... *sigh*

Well, as long as you don't feel like you are settling, then that's all that matters. Sometimes, comfort is better than love.

OMFG that was awesome. I gotta say that was THE best I've ever experienced. Good grief!

Where are your headaches radiating from? I had chronic headaches and migraines for about a year. Come to find out, I REALLY needed glasses and my right eye was straining so hard the optic nerve started to swell (which is why my head hurt so bad) And the pain started above my eye and eventually wrapped around my whole head. It was so painful, the sound of my own breathing hurt. ------ Mine: I feel freaking amazing. My guy friend might not harbor any romantic feelings for me, but my god can he lay on the sexy time! good grief. I feel warm and fuzzy, light and airy....... lol (which the last two is a feat in itself ROFL) But yeah. Emotionally I'm still blah, but physically I feel amazing.

But in a way, isn't that settling? "So I have what I have"...

mmmmmmm sexy time, soon...

Things I wish i could say to him (him as in my FWB, not my ex): My delusions weren't with thinking you are attractive. My delusions were that I thought you'd ever like me back.

Yeah, maybe if you are in your 50s. Personally, I'm too young to be thinking about 'being single for the rest of my life". The idea of that, makes me want to cry. It isn't fair and I shouldn't have to accept something like that. Even asexual people have some form of relationships! If we were meant to be alone, we wouldn't find other's attractive enough to want to spend forever with them. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, and I understand their reasoning... But still. If I die alone, I'm going to haunt the fuck out of everyone, and make their life miserable.

Sad, lonely... sort of blah, as well. I also feel hungry, but I don't want to eat, because the cramps are so bad, a full tummy would just make them worse. :( my hatred for my PCOS is outweighing my need and want for a boyfriend, right now... bleh

same shit, different day...

I've been cutting back on the sodas, even the diet stuff. I drink way more water and juice now :D

My problem was similar. I should have listened to my gut... Especially when he was getting VERY excited about hanging out with his group of friends. NO ONE gets THAT excited over people that are just friends... But i trusted him... And I was ignoring everything in me, that was screaming that something was wrong... But I've been trying not to be so insecure, when it comes to relationships, trying to be more adult, and less clingy... and look where it got me. Fucked over once again... *sigh*