because of me? You mean that wasn't perfectly clear? Sorry, Kimberly logic at work here. It's really quite simple. you see, I want B, but in order to even have a chance to get B, I need to do A. A; however, would be very difficult for me to do, and I'm not sure I even can anymore. So I want B, but because I will not do A, I cannot have B. Therefore, I want to be able to do A, so I have the possibility of getting B. See, quite simple