Enishi

My own personal pet theory is that many people who are otherwise stable have their own inner flaws which, when you you throw exciting and seemingly secret, consequence free activities like the internet or meeting up in secret into the mix, causes people to go off the deep end.

GOD FRIGGIN FRAGGITZ!

As soon as I find someone with a good camera, you shall have your eyecandy.

I'll be there with a new outfit.

Agreed. Ah yes, the dreaded friend zone. You know, the fundamentalist Christians are right about one thing. There is a form of eternal hell. It exists right alongside the "get roasted over bonfires for five kalpas hell" and "get eaten alive over and over for six kalpas" hell. However, the difference between the friend zone and those other hells is that you eventually get reincarnated and escape from being roasted and eaten alive. But you NEVER escape the friend zone.

Come to think of it, this happened to a friend of mine as well. He stopped trying to find a relationship and just tried to find women to have fun with. He had an initial hookup with a girl which turned into a long term relationship. Perhaps having sex initially released all the bonding hormones in her head or something, lol.

Hmm, good idea. Come to think of it, I saw a good bodyweight/pullup device listed on a site which although tall, didn't take up much horizontal space. I'll have to find it again, along with another other good website I've seen.

Yeah. Some of the systems of spiritual cultivation traditions I'm studying at the moment suggest the same thing. It's interesting how negative thoughts like this can have so much inertia. It's almost as if one's inner self thrives off of them because it gives the self a way to feel like it has a place in external reality, no matter how dysfuctional. I've noticed at times that part of me literally doesn't WANT to think positive or find happiness. It's baffling...

I wish there was a gym closer to my house. There isn't any space at my parents place now for barbells and a squat/dip rack, and the Balley's I tend to go to is to far from my house. It would be nice if I had a friend I could go with, that tends to give one more psychological motivation...

Lack of confidence is a problem I've struggled with even before I was ever interested in girls. I know intellectually that various self-deprecating thoughts I sometimes have are flat out wrong, but knowing something in the head isn't the same as knowing it in one's heart, and when you try to remove the offending thoughts, other thoughts/emotions which give them structure will rush in like a fail safe to foil said efforts, pushing one to engage in pastimes which eliminate the pain but make you feel worse about yourself all over again. If anything though, trying to navigate through the quagmire of my own subconscious has helped me understand that unless you're as detached as Buddha, 99.9999% of humanity is NOT fully rational and can't just up and remove the thoughts and beliefs they have about themselves and the universe. It tends to make one have more compassion and not get so judgmental.

Although I do tend to currently have my Fallout 3 marathon sessions when I'm at home, I immediately reduce them to a bare minimum when someone else wants to spend time together. I still insist on having some free time to write, read and ponder the universe, but I don't mind making sacrifices for people. Speaking of the above scenarios, Scenario 1 is especially frustrating. I don't fully comprehend it personally. Shared beliefs, interests and values tends to make someone much more attractive in my eyes, and I would tend to only outright disqualify them then if they 1. were shaped like an apple, 2. had a mean, control freak, rotten personality or 3. were to lazy to get a decent job and care for themselves and wanted a walking ATM.

Some of it could be my own karma I suppose, but I feel like my own thoughts curse me. Even if I know on an intellectual level that said thoughts are mistaken, they lodge themselves in my head and torment me unceasingly...

A very fun night. I'm looking forward to going to one in the future. Getting whipped on the back was an interesting new experience. Omg and gothkytten, you ladies are vicious, roflmao. I have to concur on the hotness of the burlesque act. YUM.

I think its more likely that multiple states will band together to form their own separate countries. I can see the west and east coast becoming separate countries, texas striking off on its own, etc...

I like my arms and face, personally.

The sushi psychos always come out in the spring.

Glad that the work week is over. It felt like today would never end. Blah.

Looking forward to the weekend.

I love DGN myself. I feel that I've meet many lifelong friends on here.

PETA=the activist version of fundamentalist christians

My computer and my xbox. There are probably a couple other goodies stashed away somewhere in out house, but I cant remember what they are...

I'll most likely go. It only takes 30 minutes for me to get to the Necto from my house.