I'll take a stab at the first few:
they don't have to
both
Satan is his last name; his first name's Burt
to allow you the pretense of maintaining dignity
cock/boob...either that, or they staple it to you.
no such thing as a traffic violation when you have fed plates
because they're an insurance company
you would fall almost all the way through the 1st time, but you would eventually settle in at the center...where your ashes would cook some more.
no refunds
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teeth? neck? back? be more specific
east is a vector dependent on the rotation of the earth. you'll never be heading west.
if they're like most real estate offices, they're just renting anyway, so not their problem.
...someone else can take over now.