If I were diagnosed with some terminal illness thst was going to kill me slowly and painfully I would just start doing some heavy narcotics in ridiculously dangerous amounts.
But that's depressing.
If I'm going for laughs I want some Rube Goldberg-esque devices that just constantly mangles my corpse.
Something that kills me immediately, but then I go on a conveyor belt of some sort where a bunch of machines pummel me.