deadcoldgothgirl

This being single thing never seems to get easy. I keep getting bad news about the ex.

I'm thinking I have been away from this place for far too long.

I think I need a hug and another drink cuz no one loves me..

I am now currently single and drunk. My bf broke up with me. Yay. No one loves me. Go figure.

I feel like there is never enough time in the day. I'm always running and trying to scarf down some food before my next class. I need to come online for some sanity.

I'm sorry, but I really don't want you back into my life. I have known you for 10 years. We went our own ways for a reason. You chose her. You can't just tell me you made a wrong choice and you want me back now. She is living with you, with her daughter, and you had a son with her. Shove the lovey dovey crap.

I'm not really sure what I am right now. I was trying the really long distance thing again, but it seems to be going no where. It seems like the spark for the most part is gone. There are just random flickers. We text everyday, but it's mostly hi and night. I can normally be very assertive, except when around someone I like for the first few times.

I'm a bit sad. I'm going to CMU on sunday. I don't want to leave. I'll be going to city on saturday. Hopefully I'll see a good amount of you there and I can have some fun before I'm stuck in hell.

I really don't want to go back to CMU on sunday. I'm dreading it.

I'm doing ok.

I'm in a pretty decent mood.

I need to stop sleeping in so late. I could have been up at a decent time today if my bed didn't feel so comfortable.

I just woke up not too long ago. I kinda feel bad for waking up so late in the day. But I'm just hanging out with my dogs while I surf the interwebs.

I feel a million times better than I did last night. I currently feel like shit. Now that's saying something about how bad last night was.

Why is it that you are always plagued with the worse feelings and thoughts when it is way too late to contact others?

I'm feeling like a smart cookie today. I went into work for some training with my manager for a tablet I have to use at work on saturday. She told me the passwords and explained what had to get done. I showed her how to actually use the tablet and do everything.

The sky is messing with my head. It looks like it is going to storm from inside, and then when I go outside I'm blinded by heat and tons of light.

I woke up super late today because I wasn't feeling well. So now I feel really rushed because I had a million messages and things I had to take care of today. I just finished playing phone tag with three people and had to deal with three different managers all at once.

I have a friend that I used to hang out with all the time. She pretty much stopped talking to me when I left for school. I hear from her now and again, but not often. The last time I saw her she was acting like we were the best of friends. I've been trying to contact her for a week. She has had some struggles lately, and I can understand that. However, it still hurts me that I know she has been getting my messages, but failing to answer me. I really don't think it's fair. It hurts in a way. We went from being inseperable to her barely talking to me and replacing me with someone she really doesn't like. I don't understand it. Every time she has ever needed me, I was there for her. I even gave her a place to live and took care of her at one point. Am I really that horrible of a person that I deserve to be ignored? Am I really that bad of a friend that all of our years of friendship have boiled down to this? Do you really believe that I'm so unworth it that when I tell you I have a problem with what is going on you will either brush it off or say that's my problem? I'm in a low place right now because of this and I can't get it off my mind.

Low and distracted.

I actually feel like I slept too long, but I'm still tired.

I know I should, but I don't wanna.

I'm tired, sore, conflicted, and torn.

I don't understand why I've been so tired lately. No matter or much or how little sleep I've been getting, I just want to lay there and sleep more.

Thanks for all the hugs. At the moment I'm annoyed at someone on one of my games. I was feeling pretty good. Until she fucked my mood in the ass with no lube.