deadcoldgothgirl

^^Thanks. Like I said, I really didn't get a chance to do very much because alyssa got violently ill and it was her first time to ever get sick after drinking.

Why hasn't he come here? Why haven't I heard from him? Are the negative things people say could be happening true? Can I just sleep and not wake up?

I'm checking out forum stuff and then maybe going to text some people.

Like crying. That has been off an on for two days. Still no word...

People annoy me. I was supposed to hang out with some friends tonight. One changed plans, the other I can't get ahold of, one doesn't feel well, and the last had no idea we even had plans.

The only ones I know I saw for sure was havoc and victoria. Everyone else should just grab be and say, "I'm so and so." That would really help me out lol.

He is really disappointing me. Hopefully hanging out with friends later will make me feel better.

I'm really hungry.

I wonder where my mom is and what is going on today... That lady should have made me breakfast. I've gotten her dinner most of last week. Is it too much to ask to have home made pancakes for once?

I really don't know how I should feel. I drove by his work and then just drove around for a while thinking and crying. I calmed myself down before bed and planned to get up at 11 am today to start fixing my sleep schedule before next week. I slept in until 12:30 and I didn't want to move. I'm not happy, but I'm not deadly depressed either.

I think the beer is coming back to haunt me. All I know is I have super bad heart burn. I feel like acidic pain.

Yea. You seemed really busy and I didn't want to bother you.

I'm feeling like my friends need to hurry up and contact me so I can get to my next distraction quickly.

I can't hate you. You seem like way too nice of a person. I just want things to be better. I want to smile. I want things to be the way they were. Where is the pretty boy in tights on a horse in moments like this? I don't know what is going to happen. I haven't even heard from him since he hung up on me... Then again I've been busy and I haven't really been trying to get ahold of him. It hurts. But I've been lucky to keep occupied. I know I have to deal with it, but I'm scared of what that actually means in the long run.

I had a good time. I actually got to meet someone there from another forum I'm on. I feel bad because every time I go I don't know who is who and I kinda just sit around with alyssa. Unfortunately she drank way too much and she was a puking mess. So I had to take care of her most of the time. I'm a little upset I didn't get to dance or talk to anyone new, but I'm sure I will get another chance.

I'm lost.

Tired. Oh so tired.

I think I hope I'm going to wake the heck up. I'm starting to get really tired. I have CC tonight and tomorrow I'm supposed to go to Frankenmouth. Wake up damn me.

Please say you guys are doing this before I leave. Now I just want sushi. and habatchi... That might be next week.

I will most likely be there with Alyssa and new blood Kimberly. She isn't giving me a direct answer, but I have a feeling it is just going to happen. Troy if I had your number I would gladly annoy the crap out of you to go to CC. I enjoy texting people and talking on the phone... maybe a little too much lol.

Eh. I'm not sure right now.

The problem is they never started out that way. At least for me they didn't. They always start super amazing, my famiy likes them, and so does all of my friends. They treated me like gold and then out of nowhere slowly start doing the switcheroo so you don't really notice it. This post was made out of anger and frustration. I told Matt I'm having a problem with how things are going. He has come to see me twice. Everytime he has talked to me it is because he wanted something or was hoping for something (Marterialistic mind you because appearantly I'm a fucking piggy bank). Yesterday he called and yelled at me saying he trusted me and tried to use a coupon I found online for his medicine but it didn't work so he had to use money he didn't have. He also asked me to pay and fix his car. I'm sorry but $45 is not going to fix your car and I tried to help you. I told him to go to the VA hospital because he could get what he needs for free. He didn't do that one either. I cried because he hung up on me. I hate this feeling. It's girly and stupid. "I love him and I don't want to leave even though he is being a dick. I hope he changes back."

I don't want to go to an art show. Why are you asking me to go to an art show?

^^It is a reason why relationships end though. It doesn't start out that way, but I've been through, and know several people that ended up happening in their relationship. It kills it.

Another crap tastic thing that make things ruined is when they use you. The type of person that only comes around when they want something or are hoping to get something from you.