Thanks for the Journey flashback in the title. Gads I'm old.
Seen this happen to friends. College/University is an option. Either the Small Town Kid gets into a field that leads them out of the Small Town, or become so scared of the vast mix of people that they rush back to the comfort of the small town. Sounds a bit Lovecraftian (go insane (join the bigger whole,) or retreat to what's comfortable (return home,)) but it's true. When I was at university (a small university,) I saw several friends from small towns go on to bigger and better things in the city. I also saw several from small towns that were so scared of the different points of view that they went back home. I visited homes of a lot of my friends, and can confirm the size of their town was small.
As for when I knew I was goth: Well, I have always been a bit, well, off. *shocks and horrors!!!* When I was about 9 or 10, I remember seeing the movie Heavy Metal. There was one song that struck a chord in me. "Veteran of the Psychic Wars" by the Blue Oyster Cult. Dark. Despotic. Nihilistic. Beautiful. Came across other groups that appealed to me: Depeche Mode, the New Wave stuff, it goes on.
College was the the big realization for me. A few people were like me as well, dressed a little darker than I did (I have always been a fan of neutrals/greys/blues/blacks,) but were far more interesting to talk to than the pop culture followers. And with a great deal more depth of discussion. Before too long, a name came to it. It was Goth. Never had a problem being classified as one. It is one aspect of me. i have to go against the fashions of piercings and tattoos, as I have to regularly interface with the normal population. To me, it makes no difference. The nihilistic, dark beauty is not something that I need to wear externally. It is something I carry with me.
As for where I want to live, I would want to live on a lonely atoll or an isolated part of a tropical island. The beauty of nature by day, and beauty of the backbone of the galaxy at night. And I wouldn't be so frakking freezing with these hawaiian genetics I have in the middle of this giant land mass/heat sink that I live in.