kat

Whoa was I on here an hour ago too? I'm really losing it.

Me watching the movie, Hereditary at this time alone. It's a messed up ass movie. Messing with me head.

🎶Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear sir, Happy birthday to you🎶

I do believe that I have an inflamed taste bud. They suck.

This.

Have you ever been to Gigis?

Lucky bitches. 🤣 Least someone's getting made out with.

That crossed my mind, they could have had two showers running as a cover but ya I didn't get far enough lol. Maybe that's why they was acting so strange, like they got caught or something. Lol oh yea my other coworker said he was about to suggest we charge every minute after we close, I was like hell yea, just like latchkey does! Omg now I'm thinking this a whole ass bathhouse. I'm going to have to see if there's any glory holes in the men's, hell in either locker room. Omg 🤣 *Not that I know what a real one is.. yet..*

I feel like I was being bitchy at work today because when we was closing there was a kid there alone, no adult in sight, his sisters are apparently still showering and we are closed. I went in the bathroom at 10 after 5 like um, hello anyone here, and the shower still on, woman is like yea I'm like, "ummm, We're closed and you have a child sitting out here by himself." You would think these two would have dashed out but no, me and my two coworkers and this little boy are still waiting, we need to set the alarm it's now 25 after, I go back in there and my manager wanted me to tell them ok, We're setting the alarm now, so if the cops come you deal with them. I was like, um, I don't know if we should go that far though? So, being the only female working I went back in there, I'm like hearing water, they're still in the damn showers! I'm like um, we have to set our alarm, I said we was closed, the one goes we didn't know, I'm like, u knew after I came in here 15 minutes ago and u should have came out then. I was fucking pissed but I said to myself, damn maybe they don't have hot water at home or maybe they have an abusive family waiting for them so I softened my tone up a bit and said are you ok? Are you safe? Cause, who knows, u never know what she could have been pregnant and having a miscarriage or something, idk. I went to sit with the kid because he looked scared and tried to get him to not be afraid because it was so weird and than my manager actually did yell into the restroom that he was setting the alarm and the cops were going to come. I thought that was...very extreme but they came out 5 minutes later and the little boy was telling he was hungry and I was seriously about to go feed him but something was off, these girls came out, didn't say sorry or anything, acted like they didn't even care about the little boy. We was talking about his plans for summer and school stuff, he looked sad and scared. I wanted to take him to his parents myself because his sisters clearly suck. He was so polite, he goes, thank you because I was just trying to keep him from getting more afraid. I hate when people are assholes to kids! I mean, you don't even have to be good at parenting and shit but at least keep kids safe because I damn sure wasn't no mother of the year and my ex husband will remind me of that forever but doesn't mean I didn't protect my kids and will for as long as I live no matter how old they are. I don't understand why people are so shitty.

Hugs. People suck.

Your energy is so positive 💯

🤗

Lmfao 🤣 I will do better. Yay! You like my goofiness 🤪

It is. I agree. I was going through alot during my separation and divorce and I didn't realize how bad I let things get. I forgot who I was. It was very helpful the people I met and how supportive they were to me. I like to joke around about what a hot mess I am, I actually like trying to get people to laugh it makes me feel I have some sort of value in a weird way. I've always been an entertainer by nature..not necessarily a good one but I used to go sing and dance when I was like 6, 7, and 8 every summer to the next door apartment building where there would be a group of people always outside sitting on the stoop, probably drinking and smoking their cigarettes and who knows what else..they was mostly in their 50s and 60s and I would do little concerts for them. They would even wait for me to come over or they'd see me outside and say come over and give us a concert, Mandi. It was a nice escape from my horror house and my mom let me stay out past dark because I was with "Marge" who used to smile and say," I knew you before you were born" and than she'd give me money to go get her cigarettes from the gas station when I was little as hell, shouldn't of been crossing the street but they sold cigarettes to toddlers back than..crazy times, lol. When my mom got the welfare check she'd send me to the bar across the street to pick up bar burgers and fried mushrooms. I was like 8 walking in the bar and they knew my little ass. The people in the bar would just carry on drinking, I used to be so scared to go in. I think I cried about it. The neighbors next to the bar had a band in the basement and they'd be rocking out loud and I loved it. I would slowly take my time so I could hear them play and try to get as close to the house as possible without being a weirdo lol. I found out a couple years ago Jack White was supposedly one of the guys who used to hang out and play there, it's his old neighborhood too so I assume it's true. I think my mom told me and she doesn't know who he is really. Okay. Now I'm rambling. Lol

It's really deep, so much teasing from my own family for being ugly when I was younger and fat I been trying to do better though. I just hate looking at myself especially in pictures and mirrors. I know I'm too old to still be acting like a teenager with self esteem issues but I don't think I truly ever grew past that. I see myself as a complete fail in the love department and I just put two and two together. I honestly have always felt like pure garbage. No matter how much my mom apologizes for everything she did and said to me the wound was dug when I was just a little girl and I didn't understand why my own mother would say them things. I'd come home from school after getting teased and picked on, jumped by girls after school, made fun of because we was so poor and on welfare and had lived in a hoarder house and child protective services would come to school all the time. Kids knew. I told them my mom was a witch and that's why I couldn't have friends over or anyone in my house. I hung around pretty girls but tough sometimes I feel like I was just there to entertain them, the fat funny friend who would do stupid shit for them to like me. I probably wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for them though. They just was kinda mean sometimes. Noone ever liked me as far as guys they made fun of me too until I made them laugh by doing stupid shit. I think the only reason my daughter's dad ever liked me was because people told him I was a virgin and he let me sing to him too. He said that was what made him love me. I don't know why I just wrote all that. I'm really emotional right now and been crying because deep inside I feel like I have always been and always will be broken forever. I'm trying hard to be positive and I do a really intense therapy right now so I feel like things are just starting to make actual sense to me as to why I am this way. They say it supposed to get worse before it gets better. I'm sorry for the essay.

I don't know what this boy did to get himself removed from the schedule but my boss called me at almost 10pm and was like I need you to work double tomorrow, can you come open? So I hope I get details because I am thinking perhaps I wasn't the only person he's been trying to get to go out with him. Perhaps he asked the wrong person on a date this time. 🤔 He's probably a little perv and that's coming from an actual perv. I'm not even cute and he was driving me crazy so I can't imagine what he may have said to someone who actually attractive and isn't shaped like a walrus.

A lovely song with my friend from Columbus #InviteAndEarn Fill my invitation code QHNPY to join StarMaker share cash, the highest can receive up to 1,000 worth of gifts in total! https://m.starmakerstudios.com/d/playrecording?app=sm&from_sid=13337239221&is_convert=true&recordingId=5066859180790540&share_type=copyLink

Village People song. Lol 😉 Omg you should come over my apartment and chill on the water with me. We can goof off like pre-covid days and laugh til our guts hurt. That's what we do. I miss laughing like that with u!

I just made my first loaf of low carb, gluten free bread. It's cooling down but I'm actually shocked that it turned out and isn't green or something 🙃

Strawberry Ratio keto yogurt.

That's what's about to happen to the dude at my work. 😆 lol Right out to the "stretching area"

Omg I'm feeling like this was what it looked like starting out. I have to watch on my break in a minute lol

You can't mark your spot with your water bottle like it's an X on a treasure map. It's a gym not a pirate ship.

It was about to be Royal Rumble in here over in the deadlift territory.

It's basically a letter. Lol