troy never feel bad about smiling yes you are still greiving the loss but when i feel bad about smiling about something that makes me happy even though i too am still greiving the loss of my father and youngest brother i think to myself would they want me to be miserable all the time or look back on the memories i will always hold oonto and smile if i know my father and brother i think that they would never want me to feel bad about smiling about a happy thought even during a time of greiving it kind of helps to deal with the greif when you can find something to smile about as well. this world is all about balance after all and just remember this peice of advise....we only fall so we can learn to pick ourselves back up, brush off and start anew