I see what you're saying Joey, but to me, part of dark culture is the image. If life truly imitates art, then the aesthetics we surround ourselves with shape our consciousness and actions.
Personally the trappings and cliches are something I find beautiful. Didn't paint my bedroom black so I could get my goth card, I just like the way it looks. But yes, I do think it is off putting to many people, I hear so many complaints about hipsters and scenesters etc. IDC what someone looks like however I do draw the line when it comes to musicians. Why go see someone perform live if they can't create a visual image to match their music? Might as well pop in a cd at home.
Most importantly though, I see this HUGE schizm between people who play instruments and people who push the play button on their laptops. Detroit has a big scene for synths, fruity loops, and drum machines. Where are the people making dark music around here who pick up a guitar? To me that is the core of the dichotomy of industrial/synthpop vs goth/post punk. I would love to see an actual goth/post punk music (by that I mean performance not just djs spinning) alive in the USA.