n0Mad

And now I'm all alone again Nowhere to turn, no one to go to Without a home, without a friend Without a face to say hello to And now the night is near Now I can make believe [she's] here Sometimes I walk alone at night When everybody else is sleeping I think of [her] and then I'm happy With the company I'm keeping The city goes to bed And I can live inside my head On my own Pretending [she's] beside me All alone I walk with [her] till morning Without [her] I feel [her] arms around me And when I lose my way I close my eyes And [she] has found me In the rain The pavement shines like silver All the lights Are misty in the river In the darkness The trees are full of starlight And all I see is [her] and me Forever and forever And I know It's only in my mind That I'm talking to myself And not to [her] And although I know that [she] is blind Still I say There's a way for us I love [her] But when the night is over [she] is gone The river's just a river Without [her] The world around me changes The trees are bare And everywhere The streets are full of strangers I love [her] But everyday I'm learning All my life I've only been pretending Without me [Her] world will go on turning A world that's full of happiness That I have never known I love [her] I love [her] I love [her] But only on my own ("On My Own" - Les Miserables. Sung by Eponine. I changed gender for my purpose from "him" to [her], "he" to [she], etc.)

CHEESE!

My best friend of 9 years exploded at me over a chronological misunderstanding and he said he's done with me for good. I feel like my brother just died. This hurts almost as bad as getting dumped.

My pride. It tastes a lot like sorrow.

Staring at my tax paperwork and procrastinating yet again. Yeah, I think I'll hide from this storm (crazy weather out there, eh?) and crawl into bed.

The ringing in my ears from the kick ass DJ Dark's Choir who spun at the Chaos website launch party at the Labyrinth.

"Turn your head and cough Phee." Did someone say coffee? Mmm ... nutty.

Ah, well, kneeling. Those holes I'm not too picky about. It's those other ones I play it safe around.

Can ya blame me?

Relacing my new boots because the store did it wrong. 18 eyelets X 2 sides = 36 per boot X 2 boots = 72 holes. The bottom two are correct but 68 holes later and my back is killing me.

Mostly, this whole year so far has sucked. (Except for the parts that didn't.)

I could use some Spring. My winter has been awfully cold and dreary with quite a bit of rain. I find nothing but ice and frost everywhere I seek comfort. Every hearth has burned out long ago with nothing but ashes left. Even those have mostly been blown away leaving behind cold stone and barren ground. Passing torches are handed off to other people leaving me alone in the night, where even the sky has clouded over into gray and the stars have ceased their twinkling. Drifting, torn, tattered. Wandering the desolate wilderness in seek of shelter, only to find ... nothing.

WHEE! :grin

Redheads in vinyl. That's the most important! Plus, I've called in a lot of favors and a lot of strings were pulled to make this event happen so I'm going to remain loyal to those putting in tons of effort to make it happen. They may drop it back to 18 for this event or make exceptions for people I put on a list or something. No promisses there, but I wouldn't rule it out. Worst case, my friends are cool enough to understand and we can party elsewhere at another time (perhaps Sunday on my real b'day). For Saturday though, it's all about the event and that means the venue that's sponsoring it.

I've only had a few fleeting moments of happiness so far this year, and when they do come I can usually think of something to counter them and bring me down to neutral, and from there it's an easy slide into depressed. Something's gotta change and soon. And it seems like all my friends I either never get a chance to talk to anymore, and some that I do it seems like we've been doing nothing but fighting lately. It also seems like I'll never get another Friday and Saturday off of work again until either the next national holiday which will alter the truck schedule and might free up one of those nights (currently it's Friday), or we hire some guy who only wants to work Friday and Saturday nights. And finally, I've been looking forward to my big birthday bash at Mephistos on Saturday, February 18th but half the people I invited are 18-20 and with their new 21+ policy that's half of my friends I can't party with. Spook is sad. ='(

MODS - DGN was going so slow the page didn't load and went all white. So I hit reload and got a double post. Could a mod please delete this one? Thanks.

After doing some checking, and math, I learned the following facts: ~ A regular package of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups weighs 1.5 ounces. ~ That means what I ate yesterday is equivalent to 3 1/3 packages. ~ So, it's like I ate almost 7 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in one sitting. Wow! ... and I'm not even sick of them. =D

The biggest Resse's Peanut Butter Cup ever. It's shaped like a heart and weighs 5 ounces. I ate the whole thing in one sitting and I'm feeling a bit

I've been empty ever since New Years. Physically, I survived which isn't too surprising, but I was a little worried about it knowing my history and all. I actually managed to have a pretty good time NYE which really shocked the hell out of me considering, uh ... stuff. Emotionally though, I might as well be dead. I've just been really hollow. I suppose that's not too surprising either. After all, I was 0-10 in 2005. In otherwords, of the 10 gals (there may be a few errant ones I'm forgetting) I had an interest in, every single one rejected me. Some minor, some fairly harsh, but all of them painfull in one way or another. So, come 2006 I think I just shut down.

Uh, it was Yoda who said that line. Ben commented how Luke was the last hope and Yoda said, "No, there is another." And then it dissolved into- --Transmission Interrupt. Geek meter level too high. System shutdown commencing.--

I have several palygirls, or gal pals as they prefer to be called. None of them spread though. =( :laughing

Hey, it was my observation that she looked like Robin in the first place. I keep nagging her to cosplay but she won't.

Meh. FarrIL can pull off that look much better than that lady without even trying.

Yeah, me too. Come on; at least make them look 15. =D

Wisconsin beef bits dipped in Jack Daniel's stone ground dijon mustard, chipotle almonds, beer, and dark chocolate.