Trene4000

Sleeping.

Eat a cracker.

Spazzing out.

I have no idea if I'll make it to the tea today. This will be the first one I've missed in over a decade. I'm not sure what to do. Everything with my mother is finally moving forward. Chemo starts next week after her surgery. I don't remember what they have her doing today. I need a saltine cracker.

I still feel like throwing up.

I am not sure I'll make it.

I want to reach 100 posts.

Saltines

If I could just drive again I'd be able to help out, even if just a little.

What the blazes! Why would you advertise yourselves as being a center that treats people from all over but then tell those who call for help that you only treat those within your area?! You're the Cancer Center of America! Why would you do that to people!?! What's wrong with you?! Well you can take your self serving and it!

I woke up this morning only to be slammed by the memory of the news we received yesterday evening. I don't think I can take this. I nearly shut down. Everyone else, including Ma, seems to have adjusted so quickly. This is too much. I feel sick again.

Exhausted. I am trying so hard to babysit but I am having so much trouble staying awake. The new meds has my fibromyalgia pain under control which I didn't even realize it wasn't. My arthritis pain is kicking my butt. Literally. I am feeling pain I haven't felt in years. It hurts.

Camp Lakebottom

Like throwing up.

My earliest memory of her is looking up at her face as she smiled down at me with a dark cloth above her head which was apparently the ceiling of our old car. I looked out what I now know is the windshield and saw my father with a fro and wearing a dashiki walking past a pale yellow brick wall with a vending machine at the far side of the window. I couldn't see any further than that because, as my mother explained, I was an infant lying on my back in the front seat. We had gone to the airport to pick up my father's aunt. The wall I had seen belonged to the building at the original parking lot. We were both surprised at how long ago that was. She said I couldn't have been more than a few months old. Yet, that was my earliest memory of her. She still has the most beautifully brilliant smile and laughing eyes.

She can't be dying! She promised us twenty more years not one!

Like raw meat being dragged down a street made of gravel, glass, and hot tar while being beaten with a concrete and rebar stick.

How can the entire city be out of pain medications?

Why does it have to hurt so much?

Not all doctors are as incompetent as the ones attempting to treat my mother's cancer. Are they?

Probably scream in a corner or stay awake for the next three days.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles