WhiteLines

Borderline Personality Disorder was one of my first very serious theories actually. About 4-5 years ago I was reading some psychology article online referring to HCP's which i hadn't ever heard so naturally in my unending quest for knowledge i had to research it. High Conflict Personality type which was claimed to be very similar to BPD and once i took a more detailed look at Borderline Personaly Disorder i found almost every single thing on the list was a dead ringer for her behavior and the timeline of events and changes in our relationship. However in my naive early years of my marriage, i thought i could approach her in a calm, logical and reasonable

I have always been a master of positive thinking for others. Im great at being an encouraging motivational supernova for others but cant keep up the same positive vibe myself, not consistently at least. Now my future ex-wife is THE most negative person I've ever met now, ive tried to encourage positivity in her but its like a heart transplant with the wrong blood type and she rejects it. Everything is cant, ain't, isn't gonna work, won't try, idfk anymore. I think all the bad things in my home life the last 7 years have been drawn there by her negative vortex of thought 🤔

I think its true what they say that positive thought manifests positive things happening in your life because I've always been a master of negative thought and the results it's manifested speak for themselves... so the same MUST be true for positive thinking. But trying as hard as I possibly can like to the point of straining with the blood vessels popping up in my forehead, i just can't seem to sustain any positive thinking very long. Its like I'm synthesizing a rare and unstable element in my mind, I can create it there in the lab but its fundamental structure breaks down after a few moments and it collapses into a broken pile of negative thoughts, incomplete sentences, and apathy. Damnit mental alchemy is challenging AF.

Sitting on two pallet jacks in the tool trailer eating delicious steak and blaring some Yelawolf, Tech N9ne, and Dax songs all loud as hell and back in front of the hotel

We bout to hang out inside the work trailer in the freezing cold parking lot and grill up some steaks. Mmm them tasty dead animals.

Done and out of work whilst the darkness still covers the sky. Headed to tha ho-tel mo-tel Qualityless Inn... which seems to also serve as the local trap house here. Whøle Løtta Gang $h¡†, G.

Sore. Shoulders be hurtin' from carryin' the weight of this whole company here. I done put in for my lengthly unspecified immediate time off work. The latter half of May has always been my personal/family ciesta time anyhow.

I am interested in this as well since I have a property with a somewhat buggy bug problem that needs to be dealt with soon

That may have been a subconscious influence in my returning to DGN... Musta thought, well thems was some cool folks to BS with back then when I needed some people's to commune with LOL

I think I'm exhausted AF. Finding phone freaking fried last night cost me $300 and all day today just trying to regain my access to a few of my key cyber interwebz shizzznits and rigamaroles. I'm so burnt the hell out now, total opposite of yesterday afternoon.

That's crazy as all hell and back, I first found DGN during the unfolding of the final levels of collapse of my 8 or 9 yr relationship with my ex, Ang up there in Michigan

Gon to lunch and everything's closed. Eatin' gross gas station sandwiches.

I handle her very gently and lovingly lol, the last dumbass that tried to roughneck raw dawg her ended up breaking off all her fingers except for the middle one on one hand. The Carhartt Rep thought that was real funny, we got the fingers on ice and the doctor patched her back up but her hands were never quite the same as before.

Yeah he's kickin, that weird wired old tweaker aint never gonna lay down lmao

One of my all time favorite lyrics from any song. If y'all dont mind i went from being industrial/goth and metamorphosised into country/goth/rap over the last decade or so. But I was still Rock n roll long before any o' that. Jelly Roll & Struggle Jennings - "Money, Sex, Drugs" They said the truth will set you free It's what the preacher man said to me. They said the truth will set you free It's what the preacher man said to me. Money, sex, drugs what we like to idolize... Livin' for the things that'll kill you, is suicide... Holdin' onto secrets in your life, eat you alive... Live inside your truth, or you gonna die inside your lies.

Doobie - Highway to Hell and Back I've been to hell and back Truthfully, it ain't that bad I walk with demons on my back Let me tell you, it feels wonderful Don't give me reasons to head back I'll make you feel uncomfortable You give me reasons to be mad But I think that's why I f*¢√ wit' you I just can't get enough

And a mountain dew, and a big tall bottle of Core Hydration water. I'm just cycling thru them all whichever I'm closest to.

28 ounce Tropical Punch BodyArmor

Here's what the rest of Cobleskill looks like.

Just finishing making my rounds at the new diggs and talkin it up with the locals... Apparently this weird quality inn (which is in a place where there is no town just abandoned barns and very roughly paved roads without any whitelines on um) well it seems it leads a double life as some sort of shelter/halfway house and this very sparsely populated mountain region has quite the heroine epidemic LOL it reminds me of home but with more mountains and less stop signs haha. Nice people tho, doin my usual listen to folks stories and then say something positive witty and encouraging to them in a thick southern twang of an accent, Tennessee Volunteer spreadin dat big ol ray o' dumb sunshine up in er'bodys day. Peace out

Nothing. Absolutely nothing, I've never gone to a place like this for work. Its like a freakin time capsule. There is a general store about 8.5 miles away from here. And i dont mean dollar general, i mean the ol' towne general store like getting supplies for going on the Oregon Trail lol. I'm gonna try to stock up on gunpowder before goin in to work tonight at least.

Ok of course another super toxic narcisticallafragaliffic long distance text fight has been initiated by my, future recipient of alimony checks... I was thinking that in fury and anger i would reveal that i have a handful of nearly to mostly anonymous people on the interweb that i regularly communicate with on a deep and sincere level of some kind while still an entirely innocent manner, no funny business here just deeper and more personal conversation than what ExWife'nator3000 is capable of sometimes. By interwebz ppl i mean you couple people i talk to on here, and a few others at another undisclosed interweb location... I was thinking... Uh, now i think this is the wrong thread to have posted this ramble, anyways anybody have any input here, any advice, or quirkey stories from the old country that teach a valuable lesson at the end which may pertain to my situation??? Anything at all, i need a 2nd opinion, i think. AHA see I brought it back around full circle for valid placement in the "what are you thinking" thread with that last 'I think' LOL

I sorta feel like with the rate of technology's advancement, if we (as a planetary population) for the most part allow technology to go about continuing to decimate the environment then eventually technological advancements will find a way to preserve whats left of the earth environmentally at that point but also have a solution for keeping us alive once the world itself is inhabitable. Not that i agree with saving the earth or that i agree with destroying it, i just think BS all balances itself out in the end one way or another... Maybe, idk.

Yeah it looked like all the tour dates was for sept / oct-ish idk i just glanced across it earlier lol

Larry was a moron hillbilly career convict that had been on the inside most of his life, no concept of modern technology. Barely could understand a word he ever said and was always higher than a feather on an eagles butt. He got smashed up real bad in the accident but refused to give up, he was on his feet again in a couple weeks with broken neck back arms legs and ribs. Not clear to return working even for an outlaw outfit such as ours. He was quite a riot tho, i need to call him up sometime he was wantin to buy a bunch of vinyl flooring off of me lol