WhiteLines

Many years ago back when i handcrafted artwork the old fashioned way and before life beat me to death lol. In my youth i had a scholarship to one of the top art colleges in the country but i dropped out and/or dropped acid. Wait no, it was both.

Postin' some more crap up in here.

I feel like not even attempting to clean one iota of the near condemnable level mess my wife and daughters have made in the house before i leave for North Carolina on Saturday. That'd be impossible in a day and a half anyway.

Feeding my son some white chocolate Reece's cups for breakfast. Not sure that's a proper breakfast.

I feel mentally paralyzed.

Listening to some dark gritty heavy rap music about mental health issues while cooking hamburger for a taco night even tho my wife will refuse to eat so I'll end up staging a hunger strike in protest of her starving herself to death but hey at least I fed all three of the kids tonight.

Look in the sky, its a bird, its a plane... No its his sister and step-sister up on the trampoline lol.

Watching my 1½ year old son so my wife can sleep in... Oh, that's not what you meant. Im watching Disney channel lol.

I miss when cell phones were virtually unheard of. They can be a neat tool but I remember we used to navigate all on our own instead of follow the blue arrow and incorrect robot voice commands. I remember when we used to have dozens of phone numbers memorized, now i couldn't even tell you what my wifes phone number is I just know it's saved in my phone under "Sunshine"

I think i can definitely know what its like being gone from the site for a long time haha.

Is this where the Noise-aholics Anonymous meetings being held? Here I'll start today im not shy. My name is WhiteLines and I'm listenin to Nine Inch Nails songs i never knew existed. Quit listening to 'em 10 or 11 years ago. Honestly I thought they retired planning to make no further music but i see thats not the case. This is probably the least unusual thing I've listened to on average. Nine Inch Nails & Health: "Isn't Everyone"

Man I'm freakin' wordy. I'm surprised i dont blister my fingertips typing on this screen. I miss when things were simpler to explain.

Oh and I totally get you about not being the same person as when you had first got on DGN. From when my profile was Expslif to now i am called by another name, live a different lifestyle, excelled to notariety in a totally different career path, listen to completely different music, wear different clothing, i have a damn family kids of my own and became successor to patriarchship of what's left of the rest of my living family and have had all of it destroyed and rebuilt more than once then psychologically beaten and tortured until i knew not who i was or how i felt any longer so i gave myself the name WhiteLines and began trying to merge all my past lives back together into one on the highway. DGN here is a puzzle piece of a long gone era I've forgotten that I just collected back up along the way.

Hardy har har. Alas I created a place for all of these ¢r₳zy₳$$ photos i take and manipulate with a cell phone. My current hobby keeping me out of a straightjacket. Anybody else feel free to join in straightjackets or no straightjackets all are welcome. Heres my first offering.

Yeah that said it all, anyone have the 411 about dealing with narcissistic people and/or individuals that may have Borderline Personality Disorder? Especially in the context of being in a relationship or god forbid, a marraige to one? I have a good bit of experience but mines more a "throwing spaghetti at the wall to see if it sticks" kinda know-how.

The original version of that photo.

Slightly edited copy of my wedding photo which has survived the destruction of every cell phone of mine over nearly 6 years, it always manages to get passed on. I set it up and shot this one myself and it just turnt out right as rain, T-totally the opposite of how the marraige itself has turned out. Its still one of my favorite shots, she is 8½ months pregnant with my first child here, my daughter Lilith Kay who is my anchor to living in this world.

I beleive my demons are far too many for this site at one time. I gotta lot to say at the moment but i dont want to overload the viewing audience with a 3 page long ranting raving post. I recently ventured onto the interweb for the first real time in a decade and found a small, freaky discord server with no laws and welcoming folks which became my safe place to speak but several of us had life collapsing events coincide at the same time. The one and only moderator hit hardest, I helped talk her thru a sudden devastating breakup, betrayal by her own family, plus her daughter being taken from her all at once. Since then none of us are on there much. Being as i was in Michigan again last week and reflecting on my life long before my marriage had sprang to life and subsequently found its way to an early grave, i decided to look y'all up in tha ol' neighborhood here, see whats shakin'. I knew it'd be a place with some tolerant folks that might welcome me back lol. Hell i still got Troy as one of my FB friends altho i dont actively participate in facebook other than postin pics and links to songs no one views. That was my short rant. I a very wordy wordsmith when i wanna write words

Feel like all of my mistakes are gathering to execute the coup de grâce on my world. Each day has descended into worse shape than the one before and this is still only the start of my week being here at home, or what used to be home, or what might've became a home again, or maybe its a portal to hell that I've been living over my entire life that's disguised as a home. Idk

Reckon this ones close enough to interpreting it.

I also miss when I didn't feel lost all the time and my relationship with my wife was even remotely functional. The past year and a half has been the most turbulent psychologically damaging years i can remember. I came back here to DGN to have a safe place to speak since i have no kind of support network other than talking to myself in my head.

These kids o' mine that I swore I'd never have. When i was on DGN here back 10 yrs ago I never woulda imagined doing such a thing as passing down my bloodlines psychologically deranged genes or bringing a life into this fน¢ʞed up world, let alone doing so twice but these young demons are my life now. My daughter Lilith, named after a demon. My young son Levi, rearrange the letters and that spells Evil. Lmao thems my damn kids fo' real.