Bean2.0

Excellent.

Nova (tabby), Koshka (black floof), Artemis (tuxedo), Phoenix (orange)

It's awesome to see people rise from the ashes. It's so much easier to stand in the mud and do absolutely nothing to change for the better. Anyway, back to the topic....

My weight, being poor, having braces (brace face, metal mouth, etc.), my hair (curly hair I didn't know how to properly care for until high school, and bad hair cuts), being shy and socially awkward, my last name (long Italian name no one knew how to pronounce). In high school I sometimes got shit for being goth, but the insults were more like compliments to me: Morticia, witch.

You are Superhero Your birth was uneventful, and you seemed set for an uninspiring, normal life. BUT THEN... fate struck and you found out that you were a superhero with amazing powers! We're not sure what happened to make you so awesome, but like all cartoon superheroes, we're pretty sure you have your own amazing origin story. You may not be able to shoot lasers from your eyes, fly, or become invisible, but you definitely have talents far beyond those of most people. Maybe you're an amazing musician, or a brilliant businessman, or even just someone whose kindness and compassion touches the lives of everyone they meet. Whatever your superpower is, get out there and use it!

I stopped drinking on a regular basis a few years ago. I rarely have a drink these days. I stopped because I was sick and tired of feeling like shit the next day physically and mentally, and feeling guilt and shame for whatever dumb shit I did while I was black out drunk. I've been on a blood thinner for a blood clotting disorder for a little over a year, and because of that I can't have more than a drink a day. I mean, I guess I could, but it would be dumb as hell. I can count on one hand how many drinks I've had over the past couple of years. I do use cannabis once in a great while, but in a very small amount to take the edge off my anxiety.

Primary docs typically aren't trained on psych meds. Sometimes you'll find one that is. That being said, a psychiatrist would do the same thing as a regular doctor: prescribe meds, see how it works, change it if it doesn't. It's just that psychiatrists know what to ask and know symptomatology better. I don't know if you'd qualify for Medicaid...that's a whole process, but if you go through the CMH in the county you live in they can help with that. There are better ADD meds than Adderall: Concerta, Vyvanse...others I'm blanking on right now. Yes, there is potential for addiction, but that doesn't necessarily mean you'll become addicted. My personal experience with meds: I was on Wellbutrin. It made my migraines worse and I felt numb emotionally, so I stopped taking it. When I was in the hospital for attempting suicide in 2015, I was put on Effexor. I still take it. It has been a literal life saver. I know I wouldn't be here today if I wasn't still taking it. Do I still have days when I feel sad? Absolutely. That's life, and I work through it. It's not the crippling depression I had before. Taking psych meds does not make you weak. It takes a lot of strength to say " I need help," and take the steps to get help. Going off meds is a process of titrating down until you're off of them.

It's a great show. I highly recommend it.

Peaky Blinders

YESSSSSSS!

I came back here after I heard about Troy. I wanted to check the place out again. I saw some familiar names, couldn't remember my login, so I started a new account. Out with the old, in with the new.

CPTSD from sexual, physical, emotional abuse on a regular basis from age 7-10, then periodically from 10-18. I moved out of my parent's house at 18, ended up in a few abusive relationships. My ex husband attempted to murder me. Depression and social anxiety since I was a teenager. I finally got help in my late 20's which was when I was diagnosed. I've done a lot of therapy over the years.

Dooooooom!

Hi!!!!!

It's definitely a lot of fun. I highly recommend checking it out!

And now I have herniated disks, bone spurs, spondylitis, and arthritis in my neck and lower back. Had a nerve block done on my lower back last week. And I'm on a blood thinner for life because I have a clotting disorder. OLD.

Troy never did anything wrong to me, personally. He was always nice to me. But, I witnessed some of his behaviors towards others and have heard things from people I know have no reason to make things up. We all have our demons. I did some really shitty things in the past that I still feel guilty and shameful for, but it's a reminder to never go back to being that person again. To continue working on being a better person. I'm thankful for this site, because my life would have gone in a different direction had I not stumbled upon DGN. TBH I probably wouldn't be alive right now. Meeting my husband here completely changed my life in so many positive ways. The friends I've made because of this place has changed my life for the positive. I am incredibly shy and awkward, and my social anxiety was absolutely horrible when I was younger. DGN made it a little easier for me to meet others. I am grateful.

I'm glad you were able to move past things and have a relationship with your mother. I tried to with my mother. I recognize she is a product of her trauma, which led to her plethora of problems, but she never should have been a parent. She never took responsibility for things she did, things she allowed to happen to me. I can't look past those things. I haven't spoken to her or my stepfather for over 6 years. She's 69, and he's 78. I know they aren't going to be around much longer. It's an odd feeling.

The most mostest magnificent times infinity!

Is magnificent!

Hey I know you!

Mine is probably from May 2005 when I joined. I'm not ready to poke around in old posts yet.

You have to find the right therapist for you. Some will be a good fit, and some won't. And therapy can be really painful and difficult at times...any self reflection is. It's work.

Koshka the food ninja. He shows up out of nowhere when we're eating. He demands a sample of the food. If he doesn't like what we're eating, he looks offended, and demands additional samples and continues to be offended we're eating something he doesn't like. He will also grab food from my hand and run off with it.

Bruh, I'm a collaborator now 🤣