et-novum

In a couple hours I'm going to meet up with a friend and go for a walk in nature. I've been trying to hang out with her more, and I need to clear my head. A win-win.

Not speaking about autism (again, I don't think I'm autistic but I recognize the possibility) but this is also one of the reasons I think seeking an assessment for ADHD has escaped me. It's not me and I try not to let it rule my life. But it is doing that anyway 😅 which is why I need to make some kind of change. I am bisexual and I have some of my own hangups about gender to get through, but those don't feel like they rule my life in way ADHD does. But I also feel really self conscious about being one of many who are seeking diagnoses. This is a bad thought, but it almost seems like a fad? But at the same time, wow I it gives me (and definitely others) a lot of struggles.

Oh and I forgot to add to this: I just scheduled an assessment this morning. The process won't start until August, but the ball is rolling.

yeah, I see your point. I didn't mention my mom has ADHD (undiagnosed but it's obvious) and dyslexia. For whatever reason my family doesn't seek diagnoses except me. And I don't think I would have if it didn't start getting harder to manage with my coping mechanisms. If I do also have autism (and I'm willing to bet it's possible) it's not in a way that's really noticeable or distressing. It would explain some of my tendencies - but so would ADHD. But the symptoms I've read about, the shared experiences I have with people who have diagnosed ADHD, and just the anguish it gives me when I simply can't sit still and focus on important things like my life, my work, and most importantly the people I love -- all that really bites me.

This feels like a generalization that's not really correct. 😅 It's possible I have autism, but probably for other reasons. My sister does and probably my dad to a lesser extent. But I've done some thinking and research about it and my experiences relate more to innattentive-type ADHD. That's where going to start and if a professional tells me no, I'll look into other things We've derailed the thread a bit. But thank you

Scary guy, I didn't even have to mention it by name for you to pick up on that, huh? ^_^, I'm not diagnosed nor even sure that's what I have, but it's the best clue I have. That, and also anxiety. It's been really beating my ass and affecting my life worse and worse. It's time for me to finally figure out what's up so I can just...stop feeling like I'm missing my own life.

I miss a lot of things. I miss not feeling worried all the time, I miss feeling stable, I miss not blinking and having two weeks pass me by. I miss being present in my own life. I miss my focus. I miss not being afraid of new things. I miss being able to leave my own head. I miss being passionate about things. I miss not giving up on little things. I miss not being my own enemy. And yeah, this is all probably mental health stuff. I think (or rather - I hope) I can address these things for myself. The past few years have really taken a toll on me (on everyone) and I'm still young. If I want any chance of not giving up and letting life pass me by for the next 10 / 20 / 30 years, I need to address this and *firmly*.

This seems pretty cool. I'm interested - I just need to check my calendar to see if I'm free!

For the last week I've been listening to The Seventh Seal by Sumerlands on repeat. Heavy and melancholic metal that vibrates my core. The whole album is good, check it out on https://sumerlands.bandcamp.com/album/sumerlands

I don't have much to contribute (I did just join a week or so ago) but I'm commenting because I see your efforts and I don't want yout to think no one sees your efforts. I'll support just about whatever happens and I'll vote if this is something we decide to do.

Hi! Welcome to the forum. Who's your favorite metal band?

I'm about to finish my coffee, take a shower, then get ready for some work meetings.

My partner and I are watching Star Trek: Deep Space 9. It's my second time but her first. I hadn't noticed how flirty Julien Bashir is with literally everyone in the first two seasons XD

It's been a hot minute since I've been to a 7/11 but I don't think banananana is a flavor they offer anymore. But I haven't been to a 7/11 in the US in probably years.... BTW has anyone been to a Japanese 7/11? They're very different and way better.

You just described a fruit smoothie XD

That is super cool! It can't be too hard to make if you find the correct beads.

I have been to the physical Keweenaw Rocket Range but no, PFRC and GT were not active communities on campus when I was there (2015-2021). But I was also not the most social so I didn't know a ton about what was going on either. There's a lot of Linux users there but I think the days of LUGs and IRCs are unfortunately gone.

I was going to go to the goth camping night too, and was bummed that it was cancelled. The Goths of Grand Rapids group seems to have a problem with cancelling things in general. It's really frustrating to try to go meet people on this side of the state because everything even remotely like an alternative lifestyle seems to stop at Lansing and doesn't come this far west. 😕

hi hello! thank you for the welcome. Miah suggested that I make an account here and it seems like a cool place. Current location? Holland, MI Where from? Houghton, MI (I'm a yooper ) Gender? Male is fine as a default, but gender is a fuck and I respond to any kind of pronouns. School? I went to Michigan Tech Kids? Just my cat (=^ェ^=) Married? Nope Single? No, I am in a very wonderful relationship Hobbies? Cooking, hiking, climbing, gaming, yoga, reading, watching TV How did you pick your DGN name? It's a variation on one of my Tumblr names. It's not the name I use in most places, but I chose that one ~years~ ago and it makes me feel a little silly using it in 2023. Et-novum is better for spaces like this.Z Other Stuff? My tastes lean more towards metal but I do listen to and appreciate goth music often

I've been back on a Bal-Sagoth kick, starting with the Power Cosmic. https://youtu.be/rEjCMv3R79g