torn asunder

i just wanted to say that, in my previous post, i was just trying to make a point that statements like (paraphrased) "you can see her hip bones, gross!" is the same kind of thing as saying "look at her/his fat rolls, eww!!" there's a huge difference between healthy-skinny, and unhealthy-skinny, but skinny itself should be just as acceptable as fat, short, tall, etc... that's all i meant.

sorry - hope i didn't come across as a jerk, i've had a shitty couple days. thanks for the input!

i lift 3 days/week for an hour, with either squats or deads each workout, then go for at least a 2 mile run afterwards. how much more conditioning do i need, than 3 days/wk lifting, and 6 mi./wk running? it's diet - i really can't just wing it & get within +/- 300 cal. - i'm going to have to obsess over it & log everything into fitday, like i used to, then adjust calories by 100-150 cal. increments until i start to lose fat without sacrificing strength. i hate walking a tightrope like that, though. i don't have the patience for it, or even the time, but i guess i'm gonna have to...

to get out from under the financial/spiritual oppression that is my current domicile. i'll be much happier after that.

it sucks... i suck...

when i eat more, i get stronger, but fatter. i may just have to give in, lower the weights & raise the reps to aim for more of a fat-burning workout, which is something i was hoping to avoid.

why the hell do you love zercher squats? still at it, similar routine still, getting weaker. my diet sucks.

wow, props on the courage, man!!

you want starbuck's what??

i'm thinking about the various ways i can get out from under this house/mortgage, and who i can call to get help/advice about the various processes. i really dislike this place. there's still water in the driveway, and the pump's been running all weekend, nonstop. i'll never be able to sell it like this, so... ???

yep. cool...

i'm feeling a little guilty for not making it out to the coffee shop sunday night - sorry guys! i'm also feeling like i had a great time this weekend! probably put 500 miles on the bike, & had some great company for much of it - all in all, a great weekend! (especially considering the way it started out with the basement-pond! )

best way to rememver this rule is: "Einstein's niece" note the different spellings - if it sounds like "Einstein", it's "ei", if it sounds like "niece", it's "ie". i have no further solution for words like "neighbor" and "weigh".

yeah, got more rain - float switch got hung up, so the pump didn't turn on again, and the basement flooded again. (yesterday, after putting in a 2nd pump in the garage crock, i actually had the standing water out of the basement) the pump that's out in the driveway hasn't shut off yet (unless it's died - i have to go check it still) and mark? this place (house *and* property) is a shithole, but if you want to, let me know!

hmmm... i've been thinking that i've not been drinking nearly enough lately. i may be healthier for it, but i'm stressed out to no end!

dood, the "further descriptions" were in pm's, how would anyone notice!?

funny - still apropriate...

rock-star diet? you mean you're gonna stop eating & binge on alcohol & cocaine!?

i was talking to rev about my flooding situation, and he sort of implied (with good reason, i might add) that he thought it unlikely that the water table on my property was really as high as i claimed. i don't blame him for wondering/thinking that, so i decided to take some pictures to show everyone just how high the pond/lake is now. i took this pic from the hill in my front yard - behind the willows is the pond, and the truck is parked in the driveway... in this pic, the water on the left is the pond, the water on the right is my driveway... this pic was taken from my deck - the line of greenery running bottom-left to top-right is the water boundary... i just didn't want people thinking i was exaggerating too much... isn't it wonderful to be me!?

i don't know about that - it's the excuse i'll be using tonight...

wheni bought this place, the water level was literally 4-5 FEET lower than it is right now. when the water started getting a bit higher, i asked my insurance agent about flood insurance, he said i don't need it, i'm not in a flood zone. i'm at work now, the pump has been running since maybe 10:30, and when i left, the water was no lower than when i started. i think the pupm's too small, which means i now get to go buy *another* pump, and hope it can keep up, when i get out of work. wtf am i supposed to do when it rains again tonight, and tomorrow? seriously? sandbags? i'm so fuckin fed up right now, i want to start punching inanimate objects... edit to add: it's not even the losing of stuff that bothers me right now, it's the thought that my house may be unlivable if the water doesn't recede, due to stagnation, mold, etc. and if that happens, how much will it be to repair it? and will it be better to just bulldoze the motherfucker & default on the mortgage? blah, blah, blah... this sucks...

you know, there's really nothing wrong with that, persay, and i wish people would stop treating being skinny like it's some disease or something. there are healthy, and unhealthy ways to be skinny - see? skinny, hip bones, but muscle and skin tone... lindsay is an *unhealthy* skinny, kiera is not. (imo) but as skinny goes, it isn't necessarily unhealthy to see hip bones, ribs, etc... it just means low body fat.

i'm feeling utterly defeated - heard the storm last night, thought nothing of it. woke up this morning, got ready for work, and as i was leaving thru the basement, what did i find there? 6-8" of water, *in my basement*. i looked outside, and my entire driveway, and around the back of my house, was underwater, too! water in the garage as well, so first thing i did was call into work, then go to lowe's to buy a sump pump. it's been running for well over an hour, and the water might be down an inch or two. and we're supposed to get more storms tonight, and maybe tomorrow!? FUCK ME!! and this isn't just from heavy rains alone - the pond i'm on is at the highest i've ever seen, and the water in my basement is actually the water table!!! it may very well stay flooded for the entire summer, for all i know... i don't even want to try & salvage shit, i just want to trash it all. i don't even know if i'll be able to go out of town this weekend like i'd planned, and that really frustrates me. right now, i feel like i hate life.