torn asunder

pretty sure you can get a shot for that, bren! and hi! welcome home!

hey, i'm in k'zoo - hit me up if you're around on a weekend!

and i just realized i got terribly off-topic. i will shut up now, please carry on with the original topic at hand...

nobody wants the one who looks good on paper - they want excitement, chemistry...

well, i don't think that's what he was trying to say, as he started talking about bruce lee, who is in no way obese. i can only agree with that for people who are quite obese - even moderately obese people can benefit from things like bodyweight squats (which can essentially be nothing more than sitting on a chair and standing, over and over), modified pushups (or even wall-pushups). the more muscle mass you have, the easier it is to lose weight, because muscle requires more energy than fat, and thusly increases resting metabolism, which means you burn more calories just sitting or lying. increased muscle strength also helps heavy people to exercise more/longer, which can allow them to burn more calories, etc... and for the record, according to bmi charts, i'm obese, or damn close. my max deadlift is up around 285# at present (and will be much higher by neaxt year), and i don't use steriods or hgh... please read up a bit more on the topic, before condemning it...

look, i talk to guys on a regular basis who are all natural (non-steriod users - one of whom is 60 years old!), and can deadlift and squat 400+ pounds and they're not giants in any way. they have muscle mass, and they look strong, but are nothing like the "mr. universe" guys. seriously and trust me, watching one single documentary that talks about steroid use in no way makes you knowledgeable on the subject. as for power lifters, dude, olympians are carefully tested, and can't use steriods or they'll be disqualified. if you really want to get into a link contest about this, i can post non-steriod power lifter videos all day long. shall i? as for you losing 45# how much fat did you lose vs. muscle mass? muscle weighs more than fat, so in 5 months, it's entirely possible that you gained muscle, lost fat, and your weight stayed the same. of coursethe question is, while you were on that training regiment, what was your diet like - what were you eating? did you even track it? did you research the regiment you were put on, to see if it was any good? did you do any research at all, or did you just go through the motions on a bunch of machines? how much effort did you put into your lifts? there are so many variables... i'm sorry if i'm being harsh, but it really gets on my nerves when people badmouth something that's healthy for +90% of the population, and can be greatly beneficial on several different levels, when they have no idea about the subject. i'm glad that "just running around playing hackey sack and turning the radio on and just moving around" seemed to work for you, but in no way is that something you can try to use to help someone else lose weight, gain strength, and become healthier.

candy cigarettes!!!

sorry, that's flat out B.S. weight training is good for anyone physically able to safely do so. if you know what you're doing, you can tailor your workout so as to either increase strength, increase muscle size, or just "tone up" and burn calories. and honestly, what do you think pushups and pullups are? they are "bodyweight weightlifting"! and seriously, are you saying that weightlifting won't increase strength? or power? that *is* what you wrote, correct? perhaps you'd like to tell that to olympic powerlifters, or football/basketball/baseball players, etc... not trying to be a jerk at all, but if you don't really understand the physical processes involved in weightlifting, spreading inaccurate rumours isn't going to help anybody. i'd be happy to clear some things up for you, if you'd care to talk in pm's!

well, even though it wasn't addressed specifically to you, i *did* offer up solutions - apparently, you didn't read it, so i'll repost for you... and if you do feel you need external help (it's a wise person who knows when that's true and can admit it) then the best thing to do is not to ask for advice from laypeople, but to seek out a licensed therapist/pychologist/etc. i've been seeing one on & off for years, and it's helped me grow immensely. asking people who have already made up their minds about you (the dates you mentioned) is not a good way to discover yourself. i'll post some appropriate quotes below...

weren't you just "petitioning" demons the other day for something? maybe this was their way of getting back at you!!

yeah, this is my main issue as well, except that i don't dislike kids. i like other people's kids just fine! i'm actually looking for a long-term committment, but i don't want kids, and i don't want/feel a need to be married. it definitely makes things more difficult though, because our society says that the "thing to do" is get married & have babies. well, that's not right for everyone, and i think it's good if you can realize that about yourself.

dude, seriously - from where i'm sitting, you're judging your life to someone else's criteria. who the hell are they to tell you who you should be? and why, if they don't want you, would you listen to them, they're obviously not right for you! the common thing i see in all of your posts is that you're constantly negative about yourself - everything about you is couched in negative terms. nobody whose got a good head on their shoulders is going to want to deal with all of that negativity. the thing is, you're the perfect you - nobody else on the planet can do it! everything about you makes you unique. you need to accept who you are, be proud in it, and be happy, or else identify the things you just can't abide, and work to change them. lamenting your fate/your traits, is of absolutely no use. and honestly, why are you asking "why not me?" to these women? you're trying to measure yourself against someone else's yardstick, and that's pointless, as well as mentally detrimental. don't place yourself in the mode of trying to impress them - rather, realize that it's your world, and if they want in, they'll have to impress you! (yeah, it can sound kind of silly, but the right mental approach towards dating can make all the difference!

out of curiosity gaf, any idea how much money was spent during the great depression, when adjusted to today's inflation rates? i realize that his spending might be literally more than all the others, but remember, way back when, bread wasn't $2/loaf, it was a nickle. i'm just curious about the scaled, adjusted amounts and how much different they really are...

dude, seriously - what does the average person associate with the boston tea party? protesting taxes. the exact reason is beyond many, either due to having forgotten their education, never having learned the "whys" of it, or just not caring to research, but theyalways associate tea party = taxes. how is it retarded to utilize a well-known event like this?

possibly, but it's most likely that while i was dealing with some other issues in the thread, i accidentally deleted it. i accept full responsibility for it. and "overmoderation"? what are you talking about? do you even have any idea of what i was addressing in that thread? if so, then you know it wasn't over-moderation - if not, then you have no idea what you're talking about, in which case it would be best to not comment about which you know nothing...

that's likely because you "got to know them, then dated"... wrong order!! if you spend too much time getting to know them, you fall into the "friend" category. then if it moves beyond there, into dating, the likely outcome is DOOM because there's no "chemistry". seriously, on paper, you can be the best guy in the world, but if she doesn't "feel it", it will never be. most women don't even understand why, but they have very little control over their attraction to someone; it has very little/nothing to do with logic/common sense.

that's the first time i've ever heard it called that... i'm anxiously awaiting quitting time so i can go home & lift & go for a run...

resurrected! again, apologies!

i'm guessing that while i was editing some rules-violations in that thread, i may have accidentally deleted it. as i haven't heard from anyone else that they did, and had a reason for doing so, i'm going to bring it back. my apologies, if it really was my fault...

do you have rafters in the garage? buy a set of "olympic" rings to hang out there! you can do pullups, dips, muscle-ups on the rings, and pushups on the floor. body weight squats, or pistol squats will round out the workout!

before you sepnd money joining a gym, try this to see if the commitment is really there. (if it's not, you're just throwing money away) pushups, pullups, situps (or some variation of those) 3-4 times a week, for 6 weeks. maybe add in some calesthenics or running/jump rope, etc in the last two weeks. if you can't commit to that, you'll likely quit the gym too, and then you'll be upset at yourself for throwing money away! (can you tell i've done this before!)

i had a buddy a while back, who would always sleep with a girl on the 1st/2nd date, and then bitch and complain when it didn't last more than a few months. after seeing him go thru this 6-8 times, i told him to try to wait for several dates before getting that intimate. (makeout sessions aside, and again, makout sessions are an entirely different matter!) the next girl he dated ended up being his wife! unfortunately, they were divorced after several years, but they had a really good run of things. this brings up another point - the way you handle yourself in intimate situations will tell a woman so much more than you can even imagine about who you really are; whether the front you're "putting on" (that she's seeing) is just a mask, or who you really are. in fact, most of the info women read about you has absolutely nothing to do with what you say...

well, trying to remove negative thoughts is a losing battle, because as you said, other negative thoughts rush in to take their place. the solution? don't remove - replace! it's cliche, but you must reinforce in your mind, the whole "stuart smalley" SNL bit... "i'm good enough, i'm smart enough, and dog-gone-it, people like me!" seriously, i struggle with the same issue. self-deprication used to be 2nd nature to me. pick one self-put-down phrase you use constantly, and flip it - every time you catch yourself saying it, force yourself to change it to a positive, and repeat it 5 times to yourself. keep doing this every time a negative thought comes up, and eventually, it will change your self-perception, and your whole outlook! if it helps, (even though it might seem silly) pick a few positive phrases/thoughts you want to reinforce in yourself, and hand-write them out on a piece of paper thirty times, before you go to bed each night. as it's the last thing you think about before sleeping, it will allow your subconscious mind to focus on making it true. remember, that which you are against weakens you, and that which you are for, strengthens you. don't phrase things in a way that says "i *don't* want to be <this way>", say it as "i *am* (or will be) <this way>" it may seem like semantics, but it really works!

i should clarify - this only really applies to looking for a longer-term relationship. disregard all of the above for finding hookups - totally different set of rules!