torn asunder

yeah, this is my main issue as well, except that i don't dislike kids. i like other people's kids just fine! i'm actually looking for a long-term committment, but i don't want kids, and i don't want/feel a need to be married. it definitely makes things more difficult though, because our society says that the "thing to do" is get married & have babies. well, that's not right for everyone, and i think it's good if you can realize that about yourself.

dude, seriously - from where i'm sitting, you're judging your life to someone else's criteria. who the hell are they to tell you who you should be? and why, if they don't want you, would you listen to them, they're obviously not right for you! the common thing i see in all of your posts is that you're constantly negative about yourself - everything about you is couched in negative terms. nobody whose got a good head on their shoulders is going to want to deal with all of that negativity. the thing is, you're the perfect you - nobody else on the planet can do it! everything about you makes you unique. you need to accept who you are, be proud in it, and be happy, or else identify the things you just can't abide, and work to change them. lamenting your fate/your traits, is of absolutely no use. and honestly, why are you asking "why not me?" to these women? you're trying to measure yourself against someone else's yardstick, and that's pointless, as well as mentally detrimental. don't place yourself in the mode of trying to impress them - rather, realize that it's your world, and if they want in, they'll have to impress you! (yeah, it can sound kind of silly, but the right mental approach towards dating can make all the difference!

out of curiosity gaf, any idea how much money was spent during the great depression, when adjusted to today's inflation rates? i realize that his spending might be literally more than all the others, but remember, way back when, bread wasn't $2/loaf, it was a nickle. i'm just curious about the scaled, adjusted amounts and how much different they really are...

dude, seriously - what does the average person associate with the boston tea party? protesting taxes. the exact reason is beyond many, either due to having forgotten their education, never having learned the "whys" of it, or just not caring to research, but theyalways associate tea party = taxes. how is it retarded to utilize a well-known event like this?

possibly, but it's most likely that while i was dealing with some other issues in the thread, i accidentally deleted it. i accept full responsibility for it. and "overmoderation"? what are you talking about? do you even have any idea of what i was addressing in that thread? if so, then you know it wasn't over-moderation - if not, then you have no idea what you're talking about, in which case it would be best to not comment about which you know nothing...

that's likely because you "got to know them, then dated"... wrong order!! if you spend too much time getting to know them, you fall into the "friend" category. then if it moves beyond there, into dating, the likely outcome is DOOM because there's no "chemistry". seriously, on paper, you can be the best guy in the world, but if she doesn't "feel it", it will never be. most women don't even understand why, but they have very little control over their attraction to someone; it has very little/nothing to do with logic/common sense.

that's the first time i've ever heard it called that... i'm anxiously awaiting quitting time so i can go home & lift & go for a run...

resurrected! again, apologies!

i'm guessing that while i was editing some rules-violations in that thread, i may have accidentally deleted it. as i haven't heard from anyone else that they did, and had a reason for doing so, i'm going to bring it back. my apologies, if it really was my fault...

do you have rafters in the garage? buy a set of "olympic" rings to hang out there! you can do pullups, dips, muscle-ups on the rings, and pushups on the floor. body weight squats, or pistol squats will round out the workout!

before you sepnd money joining a gym, try this to see if the commitment is really there. (if it's not, you're just throwing money away) pushups, pullups, situps (or some variation of those) 3-4 times a week, for 6 weeks. maybe add in some calesthenics or running/jump rope, etc in the last two weeks. if you can't commit to that, you'll likely quit the gym too, and then you'll be upset at yourself for throwing money away! (can you tell i've done this before!)

i had a buddy a while back, who would always sleep with a girl on the 1st/2nd date, and then bitch and complain when it didn't last more than a few months. after seeing him go thru this 6-8 times, i told him to try to wait for several dates before getting that intimate. (makeout sessions aside, and again, makout sessions are an entirely different matter!) the next girl he dated ended up being his wife! unfortunately, they were divorced after several years, but they had a really good run of things. this brings up another point - the way you handle yourself in intimate situations will tell a woman so much more than you can even imagine about who you really are; whether the front you're "putting on" (that she's seeing) is just a mask, or who you really are. in fact, most of the info women read about you has absolutely nothing to do with what you say...

well, trying to remove negative thoughts is a losing battle, because as you said, other negative thoughts rush in to take their place. the solution? don't remove - replace! it's cliche, but you must reinforce in your mind, the whole "stuart smalley" SNL bit... "i'm good enough, i'm smart enough, and dog-gone-it, people like me!" seriously, i struggle with the same issue. self-deprication used to be 2nd nature to me. pick one self-put-down phrase you use constantly, and flip it - every time you catch yourself saying it, force yourself to change it to a positive, and repeat it 5 times to yourself. keep doing this every time a negative thought comes up, and eventually, it will change your self-perception, and your whole outlook! if it helps, (even though it might seem silly) pick a few positive phrases/thoughts you want to reinforce in yourself, and hand-write them out on a piece of paper thirty times, before you go to bed each night. as it's the last thing you think about before sleeping, it will allow your subconscious mind to focus on making it true. remember, that which you are against weakens you, and that which you are for, strengthens you. don't phrase things in a way that says "i *don't* want to be <this way>", say it as "i *am* (or will be) <this way>" it may seem like semantics, but it really works!

i should clarify - this only really applies to looking for a longer-term relationship. disregard all of the above for finding hookups - totally different set of rules!

not stupid - metaphoric. it's a very effective way to communicate the attitude/intent of the "rally", protest, or whatever you'd like to call. most everyone knows what it implies, and they know it's not literal. i assume you get that, yes?

as a general rule, never talk with a woman for an hour when you first meet her. it comes across as clingy behavior, and is a real turn-off. 5-10 minutes tops, to see if you hit it off enough to ask for a number. cut it short, leave them wanting to know more. get her number, then excuse yourself to get back to your friends/meet them somewhere else. people love a little mystery, and if you "disappear" after getting her attention, (and she likes you) you'll have her wondering about you, what you're doing, who you're with, whether other women are vying for your attention, etc. making you more desireable. of course there are always exceptions, and i've known some people who hit it off so well, they became inseperable rather quickly. that's not too common, though, in my experience.

every time i see this thread, all i can think of to say is... "they don't call 'em *stompy boots* for nothin'!!" just raise your knees really high, pump your arms, and just stomp around in time to the beat! noone will pay any attention to you!!

i'm sorry, were you saying something? i didn't notice!

a bit off-topic, but not - i read an article the other day that said someone was looking at creating artificial "trees" that would absorb carbon dioxide (which is said to be the largest greehouse gas contributor) from the air. wtf!? plant some goddamned trees, you idiots! trees (and other vegetation) are basically earth's "air scrubbers", and here we are cutting them down in droves, but talking about *manufacturing* artificial trees? someone's off their fucking rocker...

honestly, i don't know - i'll look into it & try to reinstate it, if i find it/if it's still around. (depending, of course, on the reason for it being removed...) edit to add: question has been posed in staff chat - waiting on a reply...)

i disagree - i've lost myself several times, once or twice, intentionally...

tired - i lay in bed last night, tossing and turning, until 4am, at which poiint i got up & took half a sleeping pill. now, i'm drinking coffee.

all i really have to say about global warming is this... there is no possible way that you can predict, with any certainty, a trend for cycles that span thousands of years, with only a couple hundred years' worth of data at most. in no way do we have enough info to predict a damn thing. i could pick a data set from the stock market during a time when everything was climbing, and predict that in 20 years, the dow would close at 215,235, but it would be stupid to do so, based on such a small data set. that being said, i still think it's a worthy thing to address.

i did - i'm a slacker... soon...

you're in starvation mode, likely, and believe it or not, also likely need to eat more, to lose weight. search thru some of the posts in the health forum, we discuss a lot of that stuff there!