torn asunder

my heart...

i feel like a fool, like i'm just a blip on the radar, and that i'm easily forgotten. i feel like love is for suckers. i hurt, and i don't know how to prevent that from happening again. i want to disappear. i need a drink or twelve.

fuck gps! spyin' bastards!! :X

i had to do the same with my lil girl kitty a few years ago, same thing - cancer. i'm sorry - i know just how hard it is...

goddamned depresed... but what's new!?

A winters day In a deep and dark december; I am alone, Gazing from my window to the streets below On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island. Ive built walls, A fortress deep and mighty, That none may penetrate. I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain. Its laughter and its loving I disdain. I am a rock, I am an island. Dont talk of love, Well Ive heard the words before; Its sleeping in my memory. I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died. If I never loved I never would have cried. I am a rock, I am an island. I have my books And my poetry to protect me; I am shielded in my armor, Hiding in my room, safe within my womb. I touch no one and no one touches me. I am a rock, I am an island... And a rock feels no pain; And an island never cries.

exactly! my ideal too, but all but impossible to find...

still single. no new prospect on the horizon... see?

ditto. non-ditto...

worse than before i left for the night...

and i'd like to correct mine, in case someone misconstrued my meaning... it was three years of drinking and depression before i got better, and after that was when i met gauge...

is it "that" time of the month, mster!?!?

ye gods, yes... which is why i'm at home on a saturday night. i have no friends in this town. i need new friends. in this town. (for now...)

last time i did that, it lasted three years - i'm not looking forward to that again...

i'm still voting nader, as i think he's the only non-republicrat who could garner 5% of the popular vote, and i'll be voting non-republicrat for the rest of my life, at least until we have more than two parties involved in the national debates. ultimately, i want to see a third party (or independant) in the white house, but that likely won't happen in my lifetime...

yes, but that line shouldn't be "NO!! you can't do that because *I* believe it's wrong!" it should be legal, and *then* boundaries should be set. my opinion? as long as that life is dependant/reliant upon the mother to survive, it should be the mother's choice, whether or not to keep it. (no, the father should not have any say in the matter, imo) once the baby is able to survive on it's own outseide the womb, it should have the same rights any other child would have, but not until then.

fact of the matter is, who the fuck are you to tell another human being how to run their life? you're not a god, you're not the gestapo... hence, pro-*choice*. why the fuck doesn't anyone get that? seriously???

exercize means nothing without proper diet, and diet is much easier to start with, imo. start there, then when you feel better, start with walks, etc... baby steps, just try to do a little something every day.

kind of lost, defeated, resigned.

apparently i am...

so how does any of this apply when you've already met at least two ideal people, both of whom are unavailable? is there a point where you just give in & resign yourself to solitude?

heh - same here... i tend to think of this topic like i think of b-day wishes - if you tell what you wish for, it won't come true - so i'm not tellin.

no it doesn't - just checked. i did find a translator online, but it didn't recognize 1/4 of the words...

oh, and yeah, i got a couple small crushes, which shall most likely not be revealed... (typical guy, right?)

actually, now i'm not sure if i ever posted in here... i'm not single ( @ gauge!) but we're both open to dating, either separately, or together, if the right lady/ladies come along. so, umm, not single, but sort of available, i guess!?