the past, like the future, doesn't exist... you think the past never goes away? ask 10 people about an event that happened last year, and i'll bet you get ten versions of the story. if it's not the same, how can you prove it happened, the way you remember?if you can't, it doesn't exist... true, you are the result of the decisions you've made up to this point, but by no means do those decisions define you - only you, in the present moment, can do that. to say "i made a mistake in the past, so that makes me a fuck-up", is to limit yourself unnecessarily. why not say, "i made a mistake, and that makes me wiser, for i have learned from it!"? from this point, you can choose to do anything you want, regardless of the past, and regardless of what others think of it. i think we get too hung up on the thought "how will others look at me if i act in a way that they don't expect?" live your life, make choices that fit with your philosophies - in essence, be true to yourself, and your beliefs... it's all any one of us can do.
remember, "those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind"
(uummm, is this even on topic still!? sorry for the slightly connected tangent) :fear