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Showing results for tags 'what will be..'.
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I think a great deal about really deep issues that people really do not want to face, think about, talk about, plan for, deal with, stress over, etc... My issue is not to stress over the future but I am just a curious person as it seems as if, in my idealistic little head I belief the Lotus theory....that out of the merky swamp, the dirt, the ugly that beauty will prevail.. I guess, what I am wondering is why does it seem like society doesn't care as to whether or not they leave a legacy behind? Why does it seem that the world is just so lazy and careless? Like nobody is thinking ahead in terms of the lessons we are teaching our children, the ones who will be in control, the ones who will be caring for us? Who the role models for the babies? What the hell do they have to look up to? I look at my daughter and I realize I am the only positive person (and that's not saying much considering how hard I let things hit me and how stressed I get, or how I wear my heart on my sleeve and am very sensitive so as a result I let things fuck with me waaaay to much) and I am ALL she has in this world...........EVERYTHING....and the reason why is pretty much the model we have as an example to everyone now a days....sit on your ass, get a government check and complain about having to lift a finger when someone tries to help you out, for example...my mother I was taking care of letting live with me, the woman waited five months got approved for SSI her first try, and I am not even going to get on the topic as to how the little scheme was hitched.....I had nothing to do with it and know damn well it was bullshit, anyway..........I try and help the woman, my only requirement is she work her therapy treatment properly, work out her isssues, well she works it all right, works the system, she already was a codependent person who relied on others to support her all her life, so doing a bit of housework while living here, because she had nothing else going on and my brother and I work and my daughter is at school, well she considered it being treated like a slave.........this is a good example of how society and allowing people to depend on the government for support is not increasing independence and self-sufficiciency, rather it is creating codependence and enhancing the learned helplessness that people like my mother have....this scares the shit out of me........because this is only going to get worse. I fucking know life sucks, I know there are days I want to just say fuck it and die., there are days I want to give up, give in, and, believe me, I have bipolar disorder and an autoimmune disorder and could very well be apart of the Learned Helplessness club.......but I have been struggling for so long and I can't give up I don't want to, I just want to cry and it hurts my heart to see how someone like me can go through all the bullshyyyyyyyyyy.........that I have yet someone who I see, over my years of working with people in the capacity that I have to see people who have'nt seen half the shit in life that I have yet they just give up, throw in the towel, why are we so lazy? But, these are my experiences seen through my eyes, everyone's are different but prospectives are good. I am thankful that someone out there has put the fire in my heart and has given me the strength to fight and I pray and pray that I never lose that part of me. I just wish other people would wake the fuck up and realize that we set the bar, we set the examples for the future generation.......and we have seriously been fucking it up......thoughts
