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ok so I quit smoking.....


Steven

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I've been a "casual" smoker over the last 5 years, you know one here or there at the bar or a party, pack would last me like three weeks.......

but you know how it goes. things change.

1/2 of my band smokes....so that's change number one.

and my life has been off the charts stressful these last few months....so that's change number two.

and the next thing you know I'm a regular smoker again.

I have a love/hate relationship with cigarettes.....dont we all?

and to my shame I've had to kick cold turkey - various heavy substances in my life and have been completely successful with my own methodology but cigarettes..........I've lacked the werewithal to conquer that territory. And its prideful I know, but it angers me because I consider myself to be a rather strong person who's got at least half a grasp of his mental faculties and force of will and yet I fail miserably here.........anyway you get it.

so I got tired of feeling like shit in the morning.

and I'll be 40 soon and Laura's been worried about me and I hate it when she worries about me and its not really fair to her for me to cause her that sort of worry just because.

and I'm also starting to lose my high range with my voice, and we cover a wide range of songs and styles in my band and I need to have all of my vocal abilities just to keep up. So that's not cool at all.

so I quit. Saturday night. oooooooooooo big rah rah its only monday morning and yesterday I was cranky and pretty much a dickhead to my wife all afternoon. And no I'm not going to go get a prescription to help me stop, i just hate that kind of approach to anything because then its not really me doing the work and if I dont do the work then I dont beleive in it because I'm weird that way.

damn, I want a cigarette.

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go here:

whyquit.com

good stuff.

I'm right behind you Steven.

I posted about my success, but failed to post how I started 22 days later....

ONE smoke was all took.

I have failed this attempt......

Now I gotta start from square one all over..... =(

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Steven,

I started smoking when I was 13. I gave it up for the umpteenth time at 40. I smoked one on Friday, and it made me VERY ill. I'm pretty sure that I'm done.

You CAN do this. It's not easy, and it does make you a raging bitch. I honestly believe that I could kill with my bare hands some days. But, you can do it.

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I've been a "casual" smoker over the last 5 years, you know one here or there at the bar or a party, pack would last me like three weeks.......

but you know how it goes.  things change.

1/2 of my band smokes....so that's change number one.

and my life has been off the charts stressful these last few months....so that's change number two.

and the next thing you know I'm a regular smoker again.

I have a love/hate relationship with cigarettes.....dont we all?

and to my shame I've had to kick cold turkey - various heavy substances in my life and have been completely successful with my own methodology but cigarettes..........I've lacked the werewithal to conquer that territory.  And its prideful I know, but it angers me because I consider myself to be a rather strong person who's got at least half a grasp of his mental faculties and force of will and yet I fail miserably here.........anyway you get it.

so I got tired of feeling like shit in the morning.

and I'll be 40 soon and Laura's been worried about me and I hate it when she worries about me and its not really fair to her for me to cause her that sort of worry just because. 

and I'm also starting to lose my high range with my voice, and we cover a wide range of songs and styles in my band and I need to have all of my vocal abilities just to keep up.  So that's not cool at all. 

so I quit.  Saturday night.  oooooooooooo big rah rah its only monday morning and yesterday I was cranky and pretty much a dickhead to my wife all afternoon.  And no I'm not going to go get a prescription to help me stop, i just hate that kind of approach to anything because then its not really me doing the work and if I dont do the work then I dont beleive in it because I'm weird that way.

damn, I want a cigarette.

You are weird. That's why your here. Good luck, bro. :-)

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I gotta quit smoking weed it has given me brocitis again.....I have not smoked in a week now kudos to me....

I know I will do it again though and hate myself for being weak.

but you go Steven, I know you can do it! It is so hard to be around smoking when you can't but want one....seeing your posts on how you resisted the urge helps me much.

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go here:

whyquit.com

good stuff.

I'm right behind you Steven.

I posted about my success, but failed to post how I started 22 days later....

ONE smoke was all took.

I have failed this attempt......

Now I gotta start from square one all over..... =(

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

then its you and me baby, were on this road togethor......

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Steven,

I started smoking when I was 13. I gave it up for the umpteenth time at 40. I smoked one on Friday, and it made me VERY ill. I'm pretty sure that I'm done.

You CAN do this. It's not easy, and it does make you a raging bitch. I honestly believe that I could kill with my bare hands some days. But, you can do it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

so will you tongue kiss me again if I'm not all smokey????

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I gotta quit smoking weed it has given me brocitis again.....I have not smoked in a week now kudos to me....

I know I will do it again though and hate myself for being weak.

but you go Steven, I know you can do it!  It is so hard to be around smoking when you can't but want one....seeing your posts on how you resisted the urge helps me much.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I dig you HH.

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As sad and pathetic as this sounds,..... here goes nothing.

I have 7 cigarettes left. I'll be damned If I will throw them out after paying what I did for them.

I will finish them and then I will attempt my quit once again.

I have to. For my health, and my husbands well-being...

it kills him and makes him so worried that I am going to die soon.

I've only been back to smoking for a week, but I KNOW even after the week it will be as hard as it was the 1st and 2 and 3 and 4th time I quit.... :doh

I'm the idiot who caved.

Sad I know. But this is the addiction talking......my rational brain is saying you idiot, just throw them out, but the addicted self is saying smoke em...don't waste the money....you know you'll buy another pack if you do.....

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As sad and pathetic as this sounds,..... here goes nothing.

I have 7 cigarettes left.  I'll be damned If I will throw them out after paying what I did for them.

I will finish them and then I will attempt my quit once again.

I have to.  For my health, and my husbands well-being...

it kills him and makes him so worried that I am going to die soon.

I've only been back to smoking for a week, but I KNOW even after the week it will be as hard as it was the 1st and 2 and 3 and 4th time I quit.... :doh

I'm the idiot who caved.

Sad I know.  But this is the addiction talking......my rational brain is saying you idiot, just throw them out, but the addicted self is saying smoke em...don't waste the money....you know you'll buy another pack if you do.....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I threw mine out Saturday nite.

then I dug them out of the trash and took them to the bar with me.

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As sad and pathetic as this sounds,..... here goes nothing.

I have 7 cigarettes left.  I'll be damned If I will throw them out after paying what I did for them.

I will finish them and then I will attempt my quit once again.

I have to.  For my health, and my husbands well-being...

it kills him and makes him so worried that I am going to die soon.

I've only been back to smoking for a week, but I KNOW even after the week it will be as hard as it was the 1st and 2 and 3 and 4th time I quit.... :doh

I'm the idiot who caved.

Sad I know.  But this is the addiction talking......my rational brain is saying you idiot, just throw them out, but the addicted self is saying smoke em...don't waste the money....you know you'll buy another pack if you do.....

If you need any extra motivation:

I lost a good friend to lung cancer a few years ago. She was just a year or two older then I. She was awesome!! Sadly, she left behind two young boys and a great husband. She smoked.

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DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT

OK...I'm going to go flush them....

the 6 I have left now. =(

It's killing me ...but so is smoking so.......

here goes nothing...

=(

And now for 3-5 day detox..... :doh :doh :doh

I'm serious...I'm going to right ...NOW.

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O.k. This is the closest I'll have come to sharing negative personal dirt about Jon and I in this forum.

Jon quit smoking cold turkey before we got married 8 years ago.

And started again this year. Behind my back. Through his own weakness and pressure from a very, very, very, very, very bad group of "friends" he took up with.

And the fury it causes me has no words.

And the problems it's caused for us are ridiculous and piss me off to no end. Including today, which has turned out to be a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very bad day, made worse by the money he blew on a pack of cigarettes he bought with money he shouldn't have - MAJORLY SHOULDN'T HAVE - spent, which we needed to fill his blood pressure medication scrip today, and now for which we do not have enough money and I have to try to fucking sell something to get the cash, or borrow from my dad for the first time in years.

This is the closest I've come to killing him. Ever.

I lost a brother to cancer. The only thing that outnumbered the empty cigarette packs my dad had to clean out of his dead son's truck were the number of empty bottles from the aspirin he was chugging to combat the pain he didn't know was cancer festering inside him for 3 years.

I. Hate. Cigarettes.

Good luck quitting. And wish Jon the same.

And me, well, I just feel fuck me all to hell. Who gives a fuck anymore.

And now I have totally made this all about me. Selfish narcisstic bitch.

I quit.

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As sad and pathetic as this sounds,..... here goes nothing.

I have 7 cigarettes left.  I'll be damned If I will throw them out after paying what I did for them.

I will finish them and then I will attempt my quit once again.

I have to.  For my health, and my husbands well-being...

it kills him and makes him so worried that I am going to die soon.

I've only been back to smoking for a week, but I KNOW even after the week it will be as hard as it was the 1st and 2 and 3 and 4th time I quit.... :doh

I'm the idiot who caved.

Sad I know.  But this is the addiction talking......my rational brain is saying you idiot, just throw them out, but the addicted self is saying smoke em...don't waste the money....you know you'll buy another pack if you do.....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You can do it, Kel. If I can, anyone can.

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O.k. This is the closest I'll have come to sharing negative personal dirt about Jon and I in this forum.

Jon quit smoking cold turkey before we got married 8 years ago.

And started again this year. Behind my back. Through his own weakness and pressure from a very, very, very, very, very bad group of "friends" he took up with.

And the fury it causes me has no words.

And the problems it's caused for us are ridiculous and piss me off to no end. Including today, which has turned out to be a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very bad day, made worse by the money he blew on a pack of cigarettes he bought with money he shouldn't have - MAJORLY SHOULDN'T HAVE - spent, which we needed to fill his blood pressure medication scrip today, and now for which we do not have enough money and I have to try to fucking sell something to get the cash, or borrow from my dad for the first time in years.

This is the closest I've come to killing him. Ever.

I lost a brother to cancer. The only thing that outnumbered the empty cigarette packs my dad had to clean out of his dead son's truck were the number of empty bottles from the aspirin he was chugging to combat the pain he didn't know was cancer festering inside him for 3 years.

I. Hate. Cigarettes.

Good luck quitting. And wish Jon the same.

And me, well, I just feel fuck me all to hell. Who gives a fuck anymore.

And now I have totally made this all about me. Selfish narcisstic bitch.

I quit.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You're not selfish. You care. There's a difference.

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