Fuck depression

[Fierce Critter]

I'm so sick of this shit.

Effexxor didn't work. Lexapro isn't working.

I'm starting to wonder if it's something else. Anyone know anything about fibromyalgia? I know I can google it, but I like first-hand accounts.

I need a couple hundred dollars or something so I can hire someone to come clean up this fucking pigsty. Poor Jon.

[Homicidalheathen]

Have you tried St Johns Wart? I hear you have to give it two months. It worked for someone I know.....anyway.....

[Msterbeau]

I'll come clean your place. You may or may not like the results depending on how much you like a spartan decorating style. :-)

[Brenda Starrr]

I can hug you next month, if that'll help at all. =)

[Steven]

I'll come clean your place.  You may or may not like the results depending on how much you like a spartan decorating style.  :-)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'll come with him. Seriously.

[Msterbeau]

I'll come with him.  Seriously.

Now I'm positive she won't like the results... :laughing

*Hugs Camille*

[Anathema]

I'm starting to wonder if it's something else. Anyone know anything about fibromyalgia? I know I can google it, but I like first-hand accounts.

one of my good friends has it. she's actually on here but doesn't really post. i can ask her for a good link for you

[ManicQueen]

Right now I'm on Zoloft and it seems to be working wonders for me, along with the Xanax and Ativan.

I also go to therapy twice a week.. I'm such a mess right now.

[Rayne]

I'm starting to wonder if it's something else. Anyone know anything about fibromyalgia? I know I can google it, but I like first-hand accounts.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was diagnosed with that at one point in time, after they thought I no longer had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Now they don't know wtf I have ... except for my Anemia ...

but as I understand it Fibromyalgia is intense pain.

Taken from a site: link at bottom.

The pain of FM is profound, widespread and chronic. It knows no boundaries, migrating to all parts of the body and varying in intensity. FM pain has been described as deep muscular aching, throbbing, twitching, stabbing and shooting pain. Neurological complaints such as numbness, tingling and burning are often present and add to the discomfort of the patient. The severity of the pain and stiffness is often worse in the morning. Aggravating factors that affect pain include cold/humid weather, non-restorative sleep, physical and mental fatigue, excessive physical activity, physical inactivity, anxiety and stress.

HERE

[jadnifer]

Depressions sucks I know. Believe me

[Fierce Critter]

First off - thanks, Marc & Steven. But there's no way in hell I'd allow anyone I like anywhere near our apartment when it's in this condition. I don't want to lose any more respect than I already have.

This would be Steven:

And this would be Marc:

However, it is beyond sweet of both of you to offer. Heartening, even. Thanks, guys.

Next up, Brenda, I'm looking forward to that hug. I don't know if I'll make it to any goings-on except City Club, but believe me - I'll definitely be there that evening.

MQ - I wish I could afford therapy. I'm keeping my former therapist updated on what's going on with all the med trials, but I'm not paying her so I'm not getting much feedback, and it's not anywhere near enough. I worked for hours to find someone who would work on a sliding scale, but they don't seem to exist anymore in this day and age of HMO's and PPO's.

Missie - A lot of what you describe there I have to some degree, but I don't believe it's bad enough to qualify as Fibro. And the pain I do have I would more likely believe would be due to the almost total lack of body movement I've had for the past 4 years, and the resulting weight gain. So I don't really think that's my problem after all.

I have been diagnosed by a medicine study clinic as severely depressed. My therapist gave the same diagnosis after one "pay what you can" visit with her. I've taken no less than 6-8 online questionnaires & tests and they all come back "severely depressed", and my medical doctor believes the same thing.

It's just so hard to believe it when medicines don't "magically" fix it, and when I'm not really sad. I'm just flatline. I can get happy, and I can get sad, too. I'm not a big goth gliche writing morose poetry all day.

This is the kind of boring crap I was going to keep off here and relegate to my Myspace blog. 'Cause even I get tired of hearing about it. I'm just so intensely frustrated.

[jane dazzle]

I was on Celexa for about a year and 1/2 and it worked wonders for me. I would even go as far as saying that it cured my depression at that time. Exercising and getting some sun are supposed to help out too.

[Fierce Critter]

So, what this has me thinking is, do I say to hell with a higher doseage of Lexapro and try something else, or go with the higher Lexapro doseage?

I thought Lexapro was working. But it turned out I was just having a REALLY good couple of weeks when I started out on it. Long story. But after the "good weeks" were over, I was right back where I started.

[jane dazzle]

I tried Lexapro for about a month. It did seem to help me, but it had a bad side effect. It made me not able to reach orgasm so I went on Celexa which was much better all around. Maybe try a higher dosage first and if that doesn't work, try something else.

[Steven]

aw I dont care about any of that stuff Camille, I'd come help you anyway. offer is still good.

[The Void]

After 25 years of on-off therapy and being diagnosed as borderline personality and bipolar, having taken Lexapro for 2 years (at age 28, prior to that no meds), I have concluded the following:

Keep in mind that this may only apply to my life and situation and I am not a medical doctor-

Only behavioral therapy helps. Meds only 'stabilize' a person to feel emotionally stable, as in no highs and lows. I have seen this happen to many others who are bipolar or have had severe depression. I have pretty much never ever seen medsmassively help anyone long term. I have seen them assist someone short term in stabilizing their mind to get themselves straight. Problem is that most people are fucked up because they did not learn emotional, social and life skills that it takes to COPE with many situations. They have often employed some form of ignoring, escaping, addictive behaviors, passive agressive behaviors and so forth to 'deal' with life.

So, imo- behavioral therapy, mindset changes, reprogramming, natural and energetic healings, etc help.

I am no longer on meds, nor will I probably ever take them again in my life.

Second:

Healthy Diet/Lifestyle (including enough sleep and relaxation!)

I know this because I have done it, I have seen what happens to my body and what I have done to my body. Eating and drinking all the wrong things will cause you to be ill. Period. that is it. It's that simple. Fybromyalgia is an autoimmune disease just like arthritis, etc. where the immune system attacks the healthy body. People who have fybro have more than likely let themselves go down a spiral of poor health and allowed themselves to get there. Unless someone is predisposed to a specific disease by genetics, they cause their own genetic mutations to happen erraticly by not keeping the body alkalized and in good running order. Like plants, if we aren't watered and fed properly it shows eventually, even if it takes 20 years to manifest.

I am overweight and have seen some issues develop, even some immune issues, etc. and I know if I don't change I'll get ill. Also, being on a sugar and caffeine addiction makes people irritable and moody. BUT, most have gotten so used to it and crave it that they do it anyway out of despair and addiction that they can't see how they would be if they just came off the sugars and junk food and fast food for about a week or a month. Our bodies are meant to heal themselves, but we must allow them to.

I would recommend that MidWest Center program for behavioral therapy you see on tv with Lucinda Bassett, or even some Tony Robbins programs as a start IF you were interested in that route. Good luck with everything.

[Fierce Critter]

Thanks for that, TV.

I agree with a good deal, if not most of what you had to say.

I heard from my therapist today. I think she's going to try to find me someone who will work with my insurance & finances to get me some counseling.

I would prefer that route. Frankly, I'm starting to believe events culminating in 2002 have caused me to have an actual mental breakdown, rather than a chemical imbalance in the brain.

I've always been SOOOOOOOOOOO together. For Pete's sake, I was the family referee, and people always came to me for advice on this situation, that situation, etc. When Jon first came on the scene in 1998, I basically shut my own life down and put it on hold while I worked to take care of him and get him on his feet.

Now, I'm in a situation that I can't deal with and it's absolutely the most fucking frustrating thing I have ever experienced in my entire life.

A strong part of me is thinking that, sub-consciously, I just got tired of "fixing" everybody else, and my sub-conscious has just chosen to shut me down so others have to fix me.

The only problem is, nobody's fixing me. Jon can only do so much - he just doesn't have my experience or know-how in dealing with this sort of thing from the outside. For Pete's sake, I'm the one who taught him breathing exercises to get him over his nightly anxiety attacks until Effexxor stopped them altogether.

No, I don't think medication is going to be the answer anymore. My problem is I can't afford counseling.

Hopefully, my former therapist can find someone to work with me.

[Homicidalheathen]

I know it sounds cliche' but.....I had severe depression and it just sorta went away on its own and I don't know why I am not doing anything different.

I think sometimes our brain chemistry just sorta balences itself out after awhile.

There is hope......

[ManicQueen]

My doctor just upped my dose of Zoloft and added Desyrel. So now I'm on what, four meds. Just the Zoloft alone works great. I noticed a difference immediately.. like within a day or two. Where as most meds take a good 4-6 weeks to kick in. I highly recommend talking with your doctor about this drug.

I was having serious mood swings, constaintly crying, screaming at the baby and having break downs. My mind was going a 100 mph 24/7. I just couldn't function as a person, a mother or a partner. Now I am no longer that person. I can handle life a little better. I just feel better overall.

The Xanax and Ativan help a lot too with my panic disorder and anxiety. The Desyrel helps with my insomnia and depression. Hell, they help to keep me cool, calm and collective.

Now the side effects with combining all these meds make me a walking zombie. Always sleepy and groggy but I don't mind. All I care about is trying to help myself and make my family enjoy me better.. without all the craziness I've created.

[Fierce Critter]

Excellent news.

My therapist is going to see me as much as we need at $25 an hour. Her fee is ordinarily $100 an hour.

She is so fantastic. I'm so looking forward to this.

I see her next Thursday.