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Psuedo-serious Rock Musicians


Paper Hearts

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Here's my shortlist:

Beach Boys (enough said)

Led Zeppelin (inspiring cockrock since 1968)

Jefferson Airplane (I still don't get them)

Doors (Jim had a hell of a great rock voice but wrote terrible lyrics)

Pink Floyd (I just don't get into the whole acid thing)

Janis Joplin (good band but terrible singer and...with songs like Bobby McGee, who has time for it?)

Creedence Clearwater Revival (Yay Nascar!)

Van Morrison (fabulous night for a moondance, my ass)

Eagles (You have to be joking, right?)

Misfits (their music is so hard it must be punk...but they forgot to be sexy)

Pearl Jam (worst case of lock-jaw I've ever heard)

Phish (not even the Greatfull Dead)

Tori Amos (like Kenny G for alterna-teens)

Guns and Roses (scummy is not good)

Obviously there's probably someone here that will disagree w/ each band listed, but that's not what this is about. This is more of a chance to get it all off your chest.

Welcome to my world.

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All right, for Brenda, here are some similar rock musicians that I do like:

For the Beach Boys...maybe the Ventures?

'Zeppelin....Black Sabbath? Maybe Screaming Lord Sutch and his Heavy Friends.

Jefferson Airplane...umm...nothing.

Doors...okay, Doors aren't so bad, just Jim's lyrics.

Pink Floyd...King Crimson.

Janis Joplin...again, nothing.

Creedence Clearwater Revival...would you believe Archers of Loaf?

Van Morrison...similar spelling to Morrissey?

Eagles...again, nothing.

Misfits...they're one of the few hardcore bands that I dislike.

Pearl Jam...yeah, they suck.

Phish...sorry (but I tried)

Tori Amos....Enya? No, I don't fucking like Enya, either.

Guns and Roses...People with really inapproproate hygein? -No. Just kidding.

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Its-a You! Paperhearts!

but no, seriously, that's the point, pearl jam "blows chunks," in grunge-rock speak. always have. they need to die. you know, eventually, hopefully at a somewhat advanced age and of natural causes. still.

creedence and floyd rule. they're so cool you don't even have to use the other words in the band names, people automatically know what you're talking about NO QUESTION.

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Well, remembering something in the movie Spartacas, just now, some people like oysters and don't like snails...but it's not necessarily a question of morality. I didn't want to get into this though. Just list some things you dislike and everyone will be happy.

Best movie reference ever. I'd put it in the DGN quotes, but you misspelled "Spartacus."

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I said "Psuedo-serious".

Hey, that bitch is ALL about being serious about her music career. She just got arrested for driving drunk! If that is not the sign of a pseudo-serious musician, I don't know what is.

And, on the subject of Pearl Jam...that Eddie fella...he had nice hair. That's about all that's good that I can say about him. He was a mumbler. Gawd, I hate mumblers.

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Hey, that bitch is ALL about being serious about her music career. She just got arrested for driving drunk! If that is not the sign of a pseudo-serious musician, I don't know what is.

And, on the subject of Pearl Jam...that Eddie fella...he had nice hair. That's about all that's good that I can say about him. He was a mumbler. Gawd, I hate mumblers.

All right, well maybe I'm talking more about whether people hold Paris Hilton as a 'kind of' serious musician and I'm not really sure if they do, but I wouldn't think so. Of course, I've given up on society since she released that single. You know the one.

As for Pearl Jam, they had that whole TicketMaster stand, so maybe they have some saving grace. Maybe. -But they still suck, to me.

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cant stand CCR, never could, hate everything about them.

LOVE Pink floyd - but if you want acid referrals then you really need to cite their early work, they moved way past that.

Zepplin is simply the greatest rock band that ever lived and they had more range and diversity than so many other bands and the cock rock thing was just a bi product and not a focus and a curse upon you Kind Sir.

And give me your address so I can send you some ear wax remover because although I'm not crazy about alot of her songs Janice Joplin had amazing pipes and phrasing.

I come from the sunset strip and therefore love my old school Gand R and the fact that they are such a love em or hate em band means that soemthgn was definately going on there and thank God because they DID bring back the power of the allmighty guitar riff when everyone else on the radio was just wanking.

And Pearl Jam read way too much of their own press and Eddie Vedder always oversang and had a cool timbre but ruined it more than he ever used it and ticketmaster openly kicked their asses which I admit I knda loved.

And Misifts? you must have taken mean pills today brutha.

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cant stand CCR, never could, hate everything about them.

LOVE Pink floyd - but if you want acid referrals then you really need to cite their early work, they moved way past that.

Zepplin is simply the greatest rock band that ever lived and they had more range and diversity than so many other bands and the cock rock thing was just a bi product and not a focus and a curse upon you Kind Sir.

And give me your address so I can send you some ear wax remover because although I'm not crazy about alot of her songs Janice Joplin had amazing pipes and phrasing.

I come from the sunset strip and therefore love my old school Gand R and the fact that they are such a love em or hate em band means that soemthgn was definately going on there and thank God because they DID bring back the power of the allmighty guitar riff when everyone else on the radio was just wanking.

And Pearl Jam read way too much of their own press and Eddie Vedder always oversang and had a cool timbre but ruined it more than he ever used it and ticketmaster openly kicked their asses which I admit I knda loved.

And Misifts? you must have taken mean pills today brutha.

Noooo. Under the forum subtitle for Music Discussion, it says tell us your likes and tell us what you think sucks, or something like that. And I just thought there is enough threads where people go to bed with each other's thoughts on music, why not have a thread about what people don't like- And then I thought everyone will obviously hate Britney Spears and Herman's Hermits here, so why not list some like real bands that I don't like, just to make it interesting. And I bet everyone has some "strange" likes and dislikes.

So, in conclusion, I have decided that I am not mean.

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Well, it just means that rock is kind of silly music to begin with. It's usually a bunch of dejected kids who dress too eccentric and play songs in 1 or 2 really easy scales, typically in near effortless time signatures. Sometimes they have even worn Spandex or played the guitar with a violin bow...or sang like injured goats. But I'm also talking about rock bands that lots of people take seriously, and not the Monkeys or something.

If you don't like asparagus, I don't try to say that you're a lesser person for it. Are you an expert? Well, I think you're not.

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