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I Am No Longer Depressed

Fierce Critter

By Fierce Critter,
in Health & Well-Being

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Fierce Critter Newbie

Fierce Critter

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I have been on Wellbutrin for about 2 weeks now.

And the changes are dramatic and happened almost literally overnight.

I am back to the "me" I was a little over 4 years ago, before Depression took hold of me.

In fact, I might be better.

I am not suffering any noticeable effects - except a dry mouth. So I keep plenty of water available.

But the effect is so "normalizing" that I'm not even really feeling any sort of overly-good effects, either.

I'm not euphoric. I'm not giddy. I'm not high. I am simply normal.

I am falling asleep at a decent time - if I'm up late it's because I choose to be, though I might be tired if I do so choose to stay up. I am waking up at what is a very decent time for me - about 10:00 a.m. every day, no matter what time I go to sleep. I have never been a "morning" person, so 10:00 is absolutely PERFECT.

The motivation I've been missing for years is back. And it is so fully-fleshed, I think I'm better than I was before. I wake up and I'm absolutely READY to get on with an active day. I not only don't have to "fight an urge" to just stay in bed until past 1:00 - the "urge" just plain isn't there.

But I am not manic. I give myself rests. I sometimes take an occasional full day to mostly relax or "have fun". But if something really needs to get done, I do it.

For instance. Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. We have no money - zero. So Jon was supposed to put together a slow-cooker pork tenderloin today to start tomorrow morning. He ended up on an overtime call that had him not home by 8:00 p.m. I had already taken it upon myself to defrost the tenderloin. But when I saw how late he'd be home, I took the next step of researching recipes for him, so he'd have one ready when he got home.

But then, I decided to pull out the ingredients for him.

And then I decided to wash the cooker, so it'd be ready for him.

And then I checked the potatoes, and saw they needed some work.

SO I JUST MADE THE WHOLE DAMN THING MYSELF. It's sitting in the 'fridge, and all he has to do tomorrow is pop it into the heating unit and plug it in.

He got home about 9:30, exhausted, and he didn't have to do a thing. Because I was able to do what needed to be done.

By the way, this was our kitchen and dining room just 3 weeks ago:

mess2.jpg

And this is or dining room now:

betterkitchen.jpg

And that was mostly accomplished just a day after I started the pills. Jon did the initial 2-hours work of throwing out the trash, but then I started helping him, and we worked - together - until 1:00 a.m. that night.

All the organization has been me.

Granted, it's not finished. The books can't be properly organized yet because we have to make more shelves. And the dining room table isn't in it's proper spot because I had to clean up some sick-pet-related issues and the carpet is drying.

But the rest of the house looks similar.

Every day, I'm getting things done. And it is glorious.

I had a minor setback this past Saturday. I had already done my hair & make-up in preparation for a planned day of major shopping & errand-running. I was looking for a pair of shoes when I ended up with a piece of broken glass buried an inch deep into my foot. In the interest of healing as much as possible for this coming weekend, an important "party weekend" for both of us, I had to stay off it all day. And I actually cried because I wasn't going to be able to do anything productive. Felt like such a throwback to "the bad days".

But at least I looked damn good while I sat in bed all day. :) I'm actually putting makeup on, doing my hair and picking out decent outfits to go out now, when for the past 4 years, I mostly just pulled back dirty hair into a slicked-down ponytail, threw on often stained, ill-fitting clothing, and didn't give a damn about my appearance.

Oh, and I'm brushing my teeth again. Regularly. With a brand-new electric toothbrush.Grin-Nod.gif

I'm also not suffering physically from activity anymore. Before, after a day of any kind of activity, by evening, I'd end up walking hunched-over and in extreme pain in my back & legs, like an old woman. Now, cut foot notwithstanding, I have just a normal amount of soreness for a person who has some weight to lose.

And I foresee finally breaking in that still sealed copy of Dance Dance Revolution & brand-new dance pad as soon as we can manage to get a TV for the living room.

I am so happy. And am only excited with anticipation of the better days ahead. :)

Thank you all who have been following my progress & responded with kindness when I was having really bad days. I really don't think I'm going to be boring anyone with that kind of dreck anymore. :)

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tabycat Newbie

tabycat

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I am very happy that you are feeling better...depression is just terrible. I just got off welbutrin which I had been on for years and it did help but just not enough and I still had symptoms so they added zoloft which seriously made me psychotic. I basically have lost my bf during the med changeds. Of course that was not the only issues we had, however, it only made me that much worse. It was odd cause the zoloft did help my anxiety but made my depression and cutting so uncontrollable. I felt so damn lost and wished I would have never started the damn stuff. So... now I am off both of them and am on Cymbalta and have been for a couple weeks and wow what an improvement. I have better impulse control even with the thoughts there... I feel a sense of control even though I am still depressed ... more so situational than just a mood disorder.

I know what it's like for depression to take control of your life and turn it upside down. What is odd about the loss of my bf is he came into my life at a very low time for me and he became my high... and that could be part of the problem but when he moved in with me my house was a mess... i was always embarrased by it yet I could not do anything about it. It was just too overwhelming. So, when he came in he helped me see how much better I felt in a clean house ... just when the depression came back again I don't think he understood me... I mean who could understand me in that state when I could not?

Anyway I did not reply to write about myself. I wanted to say congrats on gaining control hun and I hope you have a very happy anny and from what it sounds like that you will :thumbup: Also, kudos to your husband for seeing you through your tough times xoxo

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pomba gira Newbie

pomba gira

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Wonderful. I am so very happy for you, sweetie! I know hearing how well you're doing will make me feel a little stronger... I can't afford my meds w/out insurance so I stopped taking 'em 'cos I only had a couple weeks worth left & figured I just as well get it over with... but now 3 weeks later it's getting way hard to function. So I'm gonna finish up the Wellbutrin & hope I get a little better before I run out... isn't worth bothering w/the Zoloft 'cos I only have 7 of those & it takes like 2 wks for those to kick in. Just hoping I don't need both since I'm not on the interferon anymore. So anyway... the point of all that being, hearing that you're doing so much better makes me feel a little more hopeful myself. Blessed be, lovey!

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Fierce Critter Newbie

Fierce Critter

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Thanks again, all!

Things are still going great. Had some setbacks due to the damned foot injury. But nothing seriously problematic.

Hille, the form I'm taking is the generic Buproprion, in the sustained release form. It's exactly the same thing as Wellbutrin, came out when Wellbutrin's patent expired.

Wellbutrin, in an effort to still make some money, came out with an Extended Release form, which is nothing more than the Sustained Release in a once-a-day form. The sustained release is taken twice a day.

You might call a few pharmacies and find out what they'd charge you out of pocket for the Bupriopion. And call around. When Jon didn't have insurance and needed Effexxor & Atenolol, the range of prices I found was ridiculous. Got his Atenolol from Farmer Jack for $7.00 a month, while other places like CVS charged $25!

Try all the grocery store chains, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, etc.

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The Void Newbie

The Void

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Glad things are turning around for you.

Quote:

"But the effect is so "normalizing" that I'm not even really feeling any sort of overly-good effects, either.

I'm not euphoric. I'm not giddy. I'm not high. I am simply normal.'

When people are given the correct drug(s)/dose, this is the effect, simply - equilibrium. I've said this over and over again.

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Fierce Critter Newbie

Fierce Critter

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Thanks again for continued well-wishes. I check back here for each and every response, and it heightens my mood.

Things are still going very, very well. And I've had some recent developments that clue me into the fact that I may have been suffering from depression longer than I had initially thought.

Things are still getting done around the house. Motivation is still there, and I crave activity now.

Oh, and my libido is back. Or, more correctly, I actually HAVE one now. Again, a clue that perhaps I've suffered from genetically predisposed depression for much longer than we all thought.

Overall, I continue to be a happy and productive person. :)

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