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What Would You Do?

Soulrev

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phee Enthusiast

phee

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A guy my dad works with just found out his wife started an amateur porn site featuring herself. Needless to say he's getting a divorce.

What would you do if you found out your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend was doing porn behind your back?

No different from cheating... if someone is having sex with my wife, and it's not me... that's that. The fact that it is being filmed matters not.

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phee Enthusiast

phee

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anyone think that maybe she's just doing it on her own? (pics/vid of herself having solo fun?)

not that i claim to know, but other than people they know possibly finding out & him being embarrassed, what would be the harm?

I would be ok with that...

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Onyx Newbie

Onyx

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If it didn't involve cheating and it was just her showing off that's sort of a different matter.

The thing that would bother me the most is the fact that my partner did it behind my back and never discussed it or told me about it. Obviously she was trying to hide it. That would be a huge red flag. I don't think I could forgive that.

If you don't have honesty in a relationship then you really have nothing.

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Gothmama25 Newbie

Gothmama25

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I definately leave cause if your with someone I consider it cheating to expose yourself to everyone else. I'm sorry but I don't share. He should be for my eyes only and vice versa. Thats just wrong to do to someone not to mention disrespectful. Respect is #1 priorty when it comes to relationships and when you do that the respect for that person is gone. Thats one of the reasons that I would never date a stripper or someone who does porn cause not only do they not have respect for themselves, they are most likely never going to respect you.

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torn asunder Enthusiast

torn asunder

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I definately leave cause if your with someone I consider it cheating to expose yourself to everyone else. I'm sorry but I don't share. He should be for my eyes only and vice versa. Thats just wrong to do to someone not to mention disrespectful. Respect is #1 priorty when it comes to relationships and when you do that the respect for that person is gone. Thats one of the reasons that I would never date a stripper or someone who does porn cause not only do they not have respect for themselves, they are most likely never going to respect you.

the key phrase i picked up here is, "i consider it cheating", which of course is perfectly within your rights. it's also *your opinion* and your life, and i think basing opinions of others on one's own beliefs isn't very fair. i have to say that, in my opinion, this "respect" issue you address seems to be a bit judgemental, too. some people are / lean towards exhibitionism - it doesn't mean they can't be respectful. though i've never known any porn people, i've known several people who had these tendencies (strippers/exhibitionists) and while that may be true for some, it wasn't for most of the people i knew. to automatically claim someone has no respect for themselves based on something like that seems close-minded to me. of course, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, and if that's how one feels, and one chooses to surround oneself with like-minded people, go for it. i'm sorry, but this just kind of struck a nerve with me. my apologies if i offend - not my intent, just wanted to put out another viewpoint...

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BrassFusion Newbie

BrassFusion

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anyone think that maybe she's just doing it on her own? (pics/vid of herself having solo fun?)

not that i claim to know, but other than people they know possibly finding out & him being embarrassed, what would be the harm?

I would be ok with that...

Hatchee Matchee!!! I'd be ok with that in your case, too, Phee! :drool

But seriously.

It sucks that she felt she couldn't tell him about it or had to hide it. If he's not willing to let her display her body for fun (and profit) and she felt it necessary to do it behind his back anyway, they both need to work on their communication skills.

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Vampyro Newbie

Vampyro

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If she's banging other guys, and kept it secret, yeah, ditch her ass and keep the beer.

If she's banging girls... That involves serious discussion to get involved

If she's having self fun, hell whatever floats her boat, i wouldn't give a fuck.

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Nienna Newbie

Nienna

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A guy my dad works with just found out his wife started an amateur porn site featuring herself. Needless to say he's getting a divorce.

What would you do if you found out your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend was doing porn behind your back?

Ask them for a cut of the cash...

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AntiHero Newbie

AntiHero

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Ummmm, yeah. I'm more of a conservative type of guy when it comes to relationships, so this once is more towards the cheating side for me. Knowing that a girlfriend, or boyfriend is doing porn (even if it is some kind of web-cam stuff) just strikes me as wrong. If the relationship were an open one then I would say lick, suck, fuck, fondle, pinch, grab, pull, blow, spank, and cornhole each other (or others) until the cows come home, just practice safe sex. But, in this case, ditch the bitch.

Oh, try to get half of whatever money she makes doing this porn.

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sass_in_the_pants Newbie

sass_in_the_pants

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When he promised me himself, he promised me EVERYTHING. That would include his hoo-ha and wa-hoo. And he promised himself to me and me alone. So, if he got some jollies from breaking this promise, yeah I would be PISSED. Flaming pissed. Throw every dish in the house at his head pissed. Woops, did I just jump on your favorite fragile trinkets pissed.

My reaction would not be from jealousy or insecurity or heartbreak. Make no mistake about that - other, equally harmful emotions rule over me, but certainly not those.

It would be the rightful outrage of someone who's partner did NOT hold up his end of the deal.

You know what this makes me think of actually? Remember when you were a kid and you and your sibling would be in the backseat of the car and (usually the younger one) would wave her hands in front of your face, and put her tongue right up to the side of your nose and invade all of your personal space and then say "I'm not touching you....I'm not touching you...you can't tell mom because I'm not touching you!"

It's like that - your partner realizes she can't TOUCH someone else, so instead she'll do everything but. What's the difference between the two, really? When you were a kid and your sibling did that, were you REALLY less pissed than when she just up and whopped you? To me, it's all the same ball of wax.

And, come to think of it, when I was a kid and my sister did that crap to me, I, in fact, did not tell mom. I just broke all of her toys. Ah, some things never change.

Edit:

And one more thing...he's entitled to half of all of her earnings, licit or otherwise. So if he's not getting half the action, he can still get half the dough.

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Soulrev Newbie

Soulrev

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Yeah see I wouldn't be able to handle my wife showing off her shiznit to the world. The way I see it, it should be for my eyes only. Besides I don't want to think about all the guys whacking off to pictures of my wife. Shit, people who even look at my girlfriend the wrong way are cruisin' for a bruisin'.

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The Void Newbie

The Void

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A guy my dad works with just found out his wife started an amateur porn site featuring herself. Needless to say he's getting a divorce.

What would you do if you found out your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend was doing porn behind your back?

Damn, I would have asked "why didn't you do it in front of me?"

ok. ok...if I found out that happened and thety were fucking other people, then I'd be ending it in five seconds flat- divorce. yep. If they just masturbated..I'd probably still end it wondering why they needed t do that for attention instead of doing stuff with me. I mean, if I am THAT out of touch with my spouse's comings, goings and fuckings...I think maybe I need not be married in the first place. imo.

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