Saephyr's Sickly Sobbing *again*

[Saephyr]

Wanna tell ya all bout it...wrote a song about it...wanna hear it..here it go...

I have the nicest case of frigging INSOMNIA right now due to all the stress I am encountering from all kinds of sources at this time.

I swear if I wasn't hiding out from everything and everyone... I would get locked up in a damned hospital for a few days for the usual bullshit evaluation period

I am on so much medication I would be afraid that my gall bladder was gonna fall out but, they already fried that out

All I'm taking would likely put one or more of you into a damned coma or at least into rehab for serious withdrawl after you stopped it all The queen of narco is here once again.

The cancer is a bitch. The fybro is really God awful lately. I can barely go for a walk with my sweetheart and not want to cry later. When I sleep next to him, I get so tensed up (called bracing) due to my damned fatigue I literally get hurt by my own muscles clenching for no reason. (symtoms of Epstein Barre Syndrome & Fybromyalgia).

Unless you read my blog on another posting board, you wouldn't know that my only source of income has been my family until the rotten government gives me what I have worked for since I was 18. Making me naturally HATE some folks for abusing the system when folks like me really need it to get rehab and treatments that are not covered unless I have hangin all over me, no I'm not cheap shooting at the MOMS here. That is NOT something I would do so forget trying to pin me in that kind of

My Da is 1 of the lucky folks that Ford Motor is trying to force into retirement and he has to think about it and have an answer by 3 weeks from now so he and my Mum are and my whole family is freaking out because they have only had their immaculate home for a short while and now that they are in love with it, they are told they are not allowed to work the living that they themselves had nothing to do with screwing up. My Mum is going mad and Da is just . I can't handle watching them be so worried and upset because they are the best people in the entire universe. If you met them you would think so. I swear it on my .

I cry lotz

. I hide it from my lover/bf/fiance/roomie to be and it bothers me that I refuse to hurt him with it right now while he is also deciding on a brand new life career that will be graduating him very soon so he can join the application rat race from hell until he gets in someplace. (CDL driving large trucks and such).

I can't work or else they will toss my case out of court. I doubt I could even work an 8 hour day wihtout having to go straight to a damned hospital & man do I wish I was lying to you.

I would shovel crap if I had to right now if I honestly could. SOoooooooooooooo if I seem a bit off or like I am not entirely myself for the time being I am truly and whole heartedly sorry. I am NOT, repaet NOT asking for pity. Prayer, sure but not that awful sappy feeling that makes other feel a bad feeling. There is enough of that going around all over. (ie; 1 of my cousins that is in the military is naturally a specialist in the Marines so he's in the hot spots being shot at since he got there and that sux rocks since he's just my 19 year old baby ).

I can't even enjoy getting totally because I a lot already due to the damned cancer symtoms. It's almost so random it's funny. Walk oujt of a grocery store and . Go to the Haunted Houses and . I mean come on if you don't you will right?

OK I think I am done with this crud.

I wanted to vent. Just briefly explain where I disappeared off to and why I am hiding even when I am at home & not with my yummy man and falling in love every day. I have that and I have you guys for entertainment and social interaction. I need it and I really appreciate it being here. Thank you for your reading this if you did. If you imagine that I'm a big then I really would love to trade ya places. However... I wouldn't.

I'm done. I am lobing you fellas :grin

[kellygrrrrrl]

Well hunny....

all I can say is I hope things get better.....=(

Sounds like you have a good head about yourself concidering all the stuff going on.

Keeping a sound mind when having issues with Family, Finances, Health and Medication is HARD.

It almost seems like too much, you know?!

Sending much Love and prayers for you girl.

[Saephyr]

Well hunny....

all I can say is I hope things get better.....=(

Sounds like you have a good head about yourself concidering all the stuff going on.

Keeping a sound mind when having issues with Family, Finances, Health and Medication is HARD.

It almost seems like too much, you know?!

Sending much Love and prayers for you girl.

Thank you very much KG much lovinz back to you and I'm very sincere.

[Saephyr]

oh yeah good fuqing news. A hospital calle dme about an emergency surgery I had from 05/2004 and said that my insurance from the state told them they will not pay because I was maxed out for the year at that time...

yeah ok..wait lemme squeeze some blood out of this stone for ya honey.

It was emergency surgery via ambulance, on Morphine for 4 days until I could be cut open due to the gall baldder & kidney damage they gave me with so many drugs tryign to be processed thru my body!!!

LOL

Wow what a joke!

[bean]

*smooches* I hope things get better for you sweet pea

[Brenda Starrr]

Jesus, Cat.

I wish I could make it all go away for you. It's not fair.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

They are intentonally setup so you cant just answer yes or no all the way through. The questions are setup so "yes" or "no" has a different meaning for each question. Have to actually read them. Tricky bastards.

I don't have cancer but i'm right there with you on virtually all the symptoms. The sense of humor does help. Nice introduction. =)

Since you've been around DGN for awhile i wont bother spewing out my usual sappy advice on how to deal with lifes bullshit that you've probably ready 10 times before. It sucks we both know.

You know i care about you and ... *hug* Hang in there.

[Fierce Critter]

Aww, Dearie. Wish I had a magic wand that would just take all the bad away for you.

Best I can wish is blue light & healing for you. And hopefully one of these nights you'll be able to take me up on my offer.

[Nienna]

*hugs* I soooo know honey. I'm sorry it's not being kind to you.

[Ash Sangre]

I understand where your coming from, I have been through it with my mother, she has both Cancer and Fibromyalgia. And shes in constant pain. From what I have researched, with the Fybro. Dont drink Soda, at all, low intake on salt, And run your aches with alchohol. Sit in a hot tub with Sea salts. It works wonders. And I dont know what type of cancer you have. But if you give me some details, id be sure to let you know what i know so maybe some of your pain could be eased away. My blessings to you.

[Saephyr]

Why thank you my new friend.

Oh you know that neat female kind of cancer. Ovarian and cervical.

What was ti you meant by the alcohol comment again?

The rest of your advice I do follow indeed as well as no red meats ad hardly anything else dead

[Ash Sangre]

Eh, I put run, instead of rub. Get regular rubbing alchohol, and rub it with a washcloth over where you are in pain, it honestly takes some pains away..

[Homicidalheathen]

Here's to hoping some things get even just a bit better for you soon. Hugs!

[Saephyr]

Well I agree with you IS but it takes a willing 2nd party to really enjoy it.

HH you know I'm chronic, I'm about as likely of getting healed as our DBK