When Shit Begins To Pile Up

[SpidersMoment]

as of this moment, shit is happening to me that i cant deal with anymore.

Family getting to bitchy. Ex-friends being a HUGE pain in my ass. My job is crap. My boss is crap.

I have no motivation to do just about anything.

The place i go to to relax is now a drama-zone.

And i feel that i need a whole new change in scenery. And im wanting to get you guys's opinion on rather or not it's a good idea.

I dont have much in the bank. Maybe $300 at most. But a one way ticket isnt that expensive. I've been told that that place i wanna go to has quite a few job openings, and i think they have a hobby Lobby over there (thats where i work)

if not perminatly, then just for a few months to say i did it.

feedback, please

[glc]

Hey, It's hard for me to give advice here, given that I don't know you personally and all, but it seems as though you need to take control. Whether that be by moving away, or by some other means, you need to figure out what will be best for you.

Is this a career job you are working? If not, what are your plans and ideas for the future? Try and get together an idea about where you want to be in 5 years and start working towards it. I find it easier to put up with the crap around me if I know that it is only temporary, and that it is getting me to where I want to be.

There's not much you can do about the family thing, you can't change them after all! But maybe try and spend more time out of the house, with friends or something. You said that ex's are bothering you, fuck em, meet up with the friends that don't piss you off, and if you don't have any, then come to the Red apple next friday night and hang out with us!!

There's a whole bag of uneducated advice here, I hope that some of it may help out. If not, sorry!

Keep well

[Brenda Starrr]

as of this moment, shit is happening to me that i cant deal with anymore.

Family getting to bitchy. Ex-friends being a HUGE pain in my ass. My job is crap. My boss is crap.

I have no motivation to do just about anything.

The place i go to to relax is now a drama-zone.

And i feel that i need a whole new change in scenery. And im wanting to get you guys's opinion on rather or not it's a good idea.

I dont have much in the bank. Maybe $300 at most. But a one way ticket isnt that expensive. I've been told that that place i wanna go to has quite a few job openings, and i think they have a hobby Lobby over there (thats where i work)

if not perminatly, then just for a few months to say i did it.

feedback, please

If it makes you feel ANY better, I'm going through a lot of shit as well. Just keep your chin up and don't let the bastards get you down. That's what I'm attempting to do.

[Klaus]

I as well don't know you that well. However, i can say, hang in there, call the non crappy friends. and if there are none, call us! any of us would be happy to be a non crappy friend. i know i would!

Hang in there!

[pomba gira]

I agree w/glc's advice. Sounds like concrete goals and a sense of control are the major needs in your life right now. Moving could be helpful w/the second, but if you relocate with no plan other than getting away from your current situation, you're likely to find yourself in an identical situation a couple years down the road.

I'm not sure how old you are, but you may just be at a life change point... where it's time to move on to the next stage of your life and leave most (but not necessarily all) of your old life behind. The kind of pervasive dissatisfaction you describe can be a sign of that. Again, it's important to have some kind of goals and plans... some idea what you want the next stage of your life to be about.

Good luck sweetie... I'm wishing you well whatever you decide!

[Onyx]

I agree w/glc's advice. Sounds like concrete goals and a sense of control are the major needs in your life right now. Moving could be helpful w/the second, but if you relocate with no plan other than getting away from your current situation, you're likely to find yourself in an identical situation a couple years down the road.

I'm not sure how old you are, but you may just be at a life change point... where it's time to move on to the next stage of your life and leave most (but not necessarily all) of your old life behind. The kind of pervasive dissatisfaction you describe can be a sign of that. Again, it's important to have some kind of goals and plans... some idea what you want the next stage of your life to be about.

Good luck sweetie... I'm wishing you well whatever you decide!

I do think this is good advice, and I have to admit, when I was younger I left town for a new job hundreds of miles away with only a few bucks in my pocket. I was quite an adventurous gal back then.

I was lucky to have a roommate who could cover the deposits for a place to live till I got a few paychecks. I survived on cereal for a month or so till I got on my feet. I can't say it was a bad thing to move though. Sometimes a fresh start is what is needed, but since you have no cash reserves, better to do it with a job waiting for you first.

Is there any way you can investigate the job first, maybe even apply for something ahead of time?

It's hard to move with no cash to cover first and last rent, deposits, etc. It would give you something to shoot for though, if you could figure out how much cash you would need and start investigating where you might want to go.

[Steven]

Hmmmm.....

escape. It just doesent last long, trust me. Until you change you and what you do or do not allow in your life, you'll find that people are still people, family is still family, and somehow you just may magically re-produce that which your trying to escape in your new place.

that being said, I'm also a fan of starting over, but being smart when you do so that you do not become a burdon and stifle yourself even more. Do some investigating, some planning, some journaling, etc.

[SpidersMoment]

I think that i just needed a break from the current situation. I kinda feel better. Well, at least the moment im in a good mood.

Soon, i plan on moving out with my friend rita, but we were thinking of bringing my current crush/heart attack along with us to remove him from his situation. But i'm afraid that it will bring the drama with us. Not only with me and him, but with him and his demons. I'm willing to do it, i feel stronger now. But, thats for Right now.

*shrugs*

[Vampyro]

glc threw in some pretty good advice, but i know you're fishing for many different opinions on this matter such as I would so, I'll throw in my 2 cents for you as well because i've had similar experiences with this...

First up, the lack of motivation and ambition you mentioned sounds like temporary state of depression that is being influenced by bad surroundings. Family can suck, and true you can't change them (god I've tried to get my mom to understand for like 10 years now and it just don't happen, so i don't talk to her anymore) but one thing you can change is who do you consider family. My best friend brad, his wife, my girl, and a couple of others that have grown so close over time that it would be an insult to them to not call them family.

Wanting to spend $300 on a one way trip sounds like you're thinking of running from your problems. The new environment might do good but make sure that you don't take any problems with you. In a new environment make sure you keep certain standards that people must bealbe to reach to be your friend, otherwise you'll wind up with the same type of shitheads, i learned that when i was living in flushing and clio. You might spend some few weeks or months being lonely thinking you don't have enough friends but really, moments of solitude can do you good at times, it helps you learn yourself better, you get used to it and can be comfortable with no one around, it was hard for me at first but once i learned to be fine not needing to be around people, i find myself needing some alone time now and then even though i still like to hang out with friends. That will also help you make better choices in finding good friends as you won't feel the desprate need to be liked by people, and dropping your standards to anyone who will pretend to be your friend. 1 good real friend is better than having 100 shitheads pretending to be your friend ANYDAY.

But back to the get away trip, don't just go without a plan or clue, find a couple areas you think you might feel comfortable living at, and find info about them, like how well employment is, the economy, cost of living ect. Also I would highly reccomend before even buying a plane ticket, try to find a job located close to where you're desired destination is before even getting a plane ticket. And always have a backup plan, a safety net, that way if what you set out to do doesn't work out, you can at least keep yourself from being stuck with no alternative ways.

It takes time, learn to be happy with yourself, don't think too much on bad things, cuz most people are just an embarassment to humanity, it's not you, it's them, so don't let that stuff break ya down.

[glc]

I think that i just needed a break from the current situation. I kinda feel better. Well, at least the moment im in a good mood.

Soon, i plan on moving out with my friend rita, but we were thinking of bringing my current crush/heart attack along with us to remove him from his situation. But i'm afraid that it will bring the drama with us. Not only with me and him, but with him and his demons. I'm willing to do it, i feel stronger now. But, thats for Right now.

*shrugs*

I know that this might be hard, but just try and fix your own problems. I don't know how tight you are with your BF, but if you and him have drama, then you don't need him in the house while you are trying to sort things out. If your BF has demons, that's for him to sort out, you don't need to add them to your own.

[Msterbeau]

I have space available for short term get aways if you need that kind of escape. Brenda's supposed to come down and do cow tipping with me soon. Of course, you then need to deal with all the freaks in Kentucky. On the other hand, it's pretty simple to find a nice quiet place to do some thinking around here too. ;-)

Like Steven said, confronting your ills may ultimately be more productive then running from them, even if it's more painful over the short term.

[pomba gira]

I think that i just needed a break from the current situation. I kinda feel better. Well, at least the moment im in a good mood.

Soon, i plan on moving out with my friend rita, but we were thinking of bringing my current crush/heart attack along with us to remove him from his situation. But i'm afraid that it will bring the drama with us. Not only with me and him, but with him and his demons. I'm willing to do it, i feel stronger now. But, thats for Right now.

*shrugs*

glc is right... the drama will definitely follow this person to your new environment. It sounds to me like you really need some space & time to get your own head together. Let him get himself out of his own situation. Dealing with other people's issues is a really, really good way to avoid dealing with your own- I know this from much personal experience.

I am also going to second Vampyro's advice about learning to Be on your own, without a constant circle of friends/lovers/family underfoot. When I was in my early 30s my man at the time went to prison... The 2 years following that was the longest time I'd ever lived by myself without a lover/husband/close friends in residence, and I truly became a much stronger person for it. If you decide to relocate, I agree that you need to be very, very careful about not immediately hooking up w/the same kind of individuals/social scene that's causing you stress here. If you look at people who lead constantly unhappy lives, you'll usually find that they repeat the same negative patterns over & over again in their relationships & life choices. Learning to be comfortable with times of solitude will definitely help you avoid falling into that kind of cycle.

[Homicidalheathen]

this: Family getting to bitchy. Ex-friends being a HUGE pain in my ass. My job is crap. My boss is crap.

I have no motivation to do just about anything.

The place i go to to relax is now a drama-zone

common complaint.

However, the job situation...yes....I would consider a move.

Once, I took a chance......when I was younger, no ties....healthy.....no kids......and just up and moved.

It was the best experience of my life.

Don't fear change, fear standing still not going anywhere.

However, where I moved...I had a good support system...friends that let me stay with them for a year till I got on my feet....so......that should be considered.