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It Has Come To My Attention

phee

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DeadBurgerKing Newbie

DeadBurgerKing (10)

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its cheaper than paying a shrink.......is Dr. Dgn in the house?! my head!! oh my head!!! the paiiiinn!! the pain of being dead!!!

I hear alot of complaining about drama but think.....how interesting would this bored be if there wasn't any? Come on now, admit that on some level most of you like reading about other peoples problems. That being said , I say there should be MORE....yep...thats right...all the drama amuses me to no end....and quite frankly you guys have been slacking off.....so come on now and use that creative power and post some melodrama!!!

You have a point...there can be a very sadistic pleasure in reading other peoples' problems...such as to make your own life seem better or vice versa; there has been life comparing to make the author's life seem not so bad...either way there's advantages and disadvantages to a "public board" of which you pretty much said "ok I'm willing to subject myself to random ramblings of multiple people" when you created your account on DGN, thus can be said about any public forum...

AND SCREW YOU PHEE!! You said it was a "Donkey Show"...a "DONKEY SHOW"...not a "Pony Show"...give me my milk money back...

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phee Enthusiast

phee

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You have a point...there can be a very sadistic pleasure in reading other peoples' problems...such as to make your own life seem better or vice versa; there has been life comparing to make the author's life seem not so bad...either way there's advantages and disadvantages to a "public board" of which you pretty much said "ok I'm willing to subject myself to random ramblings of multiple people" when you created your account on DGN, thus can be said about any public forum...

AND SCREW YOU PHEE!! You said it was a "Donkey Show"...a "DONKEY SHOW"...not a "Pony Show"...give me my milk money back...

I already gave the money to the pity party fund

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Marblez Collaborator

Marblez

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...but I guess I am not getting the post in a general forum that states "I have been lied to and mistreated!!!" or something like that... what does it do exactly? What is it's purpose?

Just wondering

I have been told by many people that I seem very careful with what I say. Careful to let just the right amount of information out, careful to not offend or get too personal. I agree. The few times that I posted personal information about myself were at very weak points in my life, times of great insecurity.

I think the people who will do this are generally of the most insecure of the bunch. From meeting so many people on here in person, I can definitely say that the ones that appear the most secure and confident with themselves are the ones least likely to post personal, private details of their lives. The people that have the paranoia of "why doesn't anyone like me", "why does my life suck so damn bad" and "why won't anyone GIVE me a job"...they are most likely posting these things for validation. They want to feel like they are ok and hear from people that will tell them that it is not truly them that suck but it is society and all the intolerance in the world that are keeping them down. They want someone to agree or to at least sympathize. I have since done some growing up and have taken more responsibility for my life, thus less and less gets posted here.

I usually vent here because I don't have anyone objective to vent to offline.

The problem with this is that many people are unable to post "objective opinions". Some of the most objective opnions never are said because the individuals are forced to be nice and polite. Objective opinions would be more readily available at your random chat room where no one knows your name and people aren't required to say something nice or say nothing at all.

In a nutshell, community.

From my observations, the ties between a lot of people that post here transcend 'just the board'. The weekly meetups at CC, occasional DGN events like the camping trips and karaoke, get togethers when DGN out-of-town/country people show up in the Detroit area...it all adds together to form friendships/relationships/ties beyond the 'internet buddy on a message board'...I'd go so far as to say that 'DGN the message board' transmuted to 'DGN the social group/community' even before the board was DGN.

So we have friendships formed through the board turned into ReaLife[TM] friendships, cliques, & sleeping around/dating/LTR/marriage within the community; we have people that feel comfortable (at least temporarily) with (some of the) other people here. For some personality types, they feel that because of this, they can talk about things that are bothering them and open up.

So people will post problems/personal info here.

Add to that that there are other people that feed on melodrama. They have to have the attention on them at all times or their self-worth suffers, and its really easy to post every couple of days about the new issues (usually self-created or at least self-perpetuated) going on with them to garner sympathy and more importantly, the LOOK-AT-ME-GIVE-ME-ATTENTION!!!

Honestly, DGN isn't that different from some other long-lived Intertron (and ReaLife[TM]) communities I've been involved with over the years. Combination of a sense of familiarity, comfort levels, and raging drama-queens leads to the postings/announcements of personal things.

My favorite is always when 2 (or more) people have a problem and start calling each other out in public...it always makes them come off as an asshat.

Speaking of which: You stole my pony Phee! I hate you and hope everyone else realizes what an evil person you are and hates you too!

I like bav.

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Daevion Newbie

Daevion

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I post personal information all the time......on dgn....because I can.....my life is an open book....Im not about to pay a shrink to help me with my psychosis...cause Im too cheap. I'd rather dump my shit on dgn for free...so to speak. Actually, I don't have any psychosis....completely the opposite...Im the sane one here and the rest of ya are the crazy ones.....don't think I don't hear the whispers in the dark from across the internet. This actually isn't Daevion typing this he isn't here right now. I tied Daevion up and I'm holding him for ransom. I am demanding about 3.50 credited to daevion@gmail paypal account, yes I have access to that too.....my name is NoiveaD. Pay up suckas!!

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TygerLili Newbie

TygerLili

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I agree that most of the people here who post a lot of personal details about their life are looking for attention. But if you post at all aren't you looking for attention(someone to read what you say) at least a little bit? And one could argue that anyone who has ever posted a picture of themselves on-line is fishing for compliments.

Personally, I don't like to share too much about my personal life. For one thing, as Phee said, it's a public forum and you never know who might be reading and gathering info about you. For another, I'd never post something about someone on-line that I'd be uncomfortable saying about them to their face, in front of all their friends. I prefer to either keep those things to myself or take them up directly with the person I have a problem with.

I always hesitate before posting something even kind of personal, and think "Do I really want complete strangers to know that about me?" And there have been a few times that I've read things on-line and been embarassed for the person who wrote them that they felt the need to exploit themselves that much just to get attention(for the insecure people, I'm probably not referring to anyone reading this right now).

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kellygrrrrrl Newbie

kellygrrrrrl

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I post personal things because, I value most of the regular posters opinions and its cheaper than a therapist.

I second that....

Plus, I don't know anyone too too personally here....

Which means I can talk abotu things anonymously - sort of.....

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Guest Megalicious

Guest Megalicious

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. I prefer to either keep those things to myself or take them up directly with the person I have a problem with.

That is one of the best things I've ever heard, I wish more ppl thought like this.

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JaneDead Newbie

JaneDead

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That many people, seem to feel the need to announce or otherwise broadcast there unhappiness on this board now I understand that this is a goth board, and that it is a place to vent ones misery in a "safe forum" amongst "like minded people" ... but it is after all is said and done, a public board, you don't need to be a member of DGN to read this stuff...

I am just curious as to why people seem to feel that they must announce there personal problems on here (and I am not judging or saying this is wrong or anything) It is just a state of mind that I don't understand. I understand talking to your friends, or maybe even blogging or journaling... but I guess I am not getting the post in a general forum that states "I have been lied to and mistreated!!!" or something like that... what does it do exactly? What is it's purpose?

Just wondering

i didn't read anyone else's replies so if i say something that someone already said that is why ;)

you know phee, these people that do that here are more than likely just like that "in real life".

if they are bitching and complaining by typing it you know they are bitching and complaining to everyone and anyone that will listen.

sometimes it might even be easier to tell it to strangers, especially if people you know on a day to day basis are just sick of hearing your shit.

maybe some don't actually do it outloud so typing it is easier. i know that for me typing/writing stuff is a great outlet for me but i don't do it here. or anywhere "open" for just anyone and everyone to see. my life is personal so i keep it to people who actually KNOW me and CARE about me. not just a random person who might read it and be an asshole about what i have to say.

also and i know without reading this thread- the drama queens. people who don't know how to have a life without drama. even if it is not their own. they love it. they might claim they hate it ,but it is what they live for. without it, there is no story to tell. nothing worth thinking about it seems. otherwise how would they get any attention? i guess it never crosses some people's minds to do something about it, change what is going on, that they have more control over their lives/situations than they give themselves credit for.

i really think it has very little to do with it being a "goth board" i have seen this on other boards too. i think the issues might vary, but the foundation of it is the same.

and then for others- they just love to be miserable. it is a way to be. they know no other way. if they found an ounce of happiness you KNOW something terrible will happen to take it away from them and then they are worse off than before. bitter, jaded, hating people/love/the world. why me? why? why anyone then? we all have problems. WE ALL DO. it is just a matter of how you DEAL WITH YOUR OWN LIFE that matters.

i personally ignore each and every post on here that is "drama" filled unless i am bored and want to have fun with it. ;) might sound mean but it is like a soap opera and i like soap operas. i like fake drama, not real. so i know that for people their drama and issues are real - but i can't help but find some humor in it.

people love to tell you how unhappy they are and then do nothing about it. i am guilty of this as well. i admit, i am a complainer. i hate certain things that *I* should change and don't. and i know it. but i don't care to share it with the world because i know that i am an asshole for it. why broadcast that about myself? well i guess i just did, but i didn't tell you any specifics and i most likely NEVER will. you might get a very little little bit out of me but that's about it. and a lot of times i will go back and completely edit/delete it out because i know i only did it in a moment of utter disgust or disappointment so i was not thinking first.

some people don't view "personal" things like other people think of "personal" things. i for one don't ever say anything too much about me or my kids or my life or where i live even - not even names, pictures, etc. that to me is "too personal". for others that is not personal at all. in a post or 2 i even mentioned some things going on in my life and that for me was a big thing to do. in all the years i have been on the board it was probably the most open i have been and i didn't even say much ;) so.... i guess what is personal and what is not is different for everyone so you will find people like me that won't even tell you my kids names, then you will find people who will tell you every sexual detail of their life or how abused they are or what disease they are living with, etc.

like you said phee, it is a state of mind i don't understand. you don't now and you never will. and that is not a bad thing.

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