'your Friend's Hot. Is She Single?'

[sass_in_the_pants]

Don't say this. Please. Never, not ever.

I believe that most men on this board, and in fact, most men in real life, are good hearted decent chaps who are just looking for a little luvins. Nothing wrong with that, but please, please, please, don't ever approach a girl at the bar and ask her about another girl. It's downright mean.

I say all this because I just got off the phone with my girlfriend who was crying, again. Because this keeps happening to her. And it's breaking her heart, and bringing mine down with it!

[Vampyro]

Meh, I have to agree however... there has got to be more to her story...

I can't speak for most other men however, in my case, if i take an interest in a girl, i talk to her directly (if i can even muster the guts to even talk to her) one thing i don't do is go through friends, unless the person i'm asking for is already an established friend and we know enough of eachother to both know I know she's taken... then asking about her friends is a different story.

But back to the main point, situation I'm in a bar, i see a girl i like, before I even aproach her I look for a few signs, like her left ring finger, If i see anything that resembles a promise ring, engagement ring, or wedding ban, or if she's already with a guy there, then I won't talk to her unless the situation is appropriate to simply talk to her as just a friend.

Your friend might be giving off certain body languages to show the guy she's not interested (obviously not her intentions, yet if she's shy like me, that shyness can bite us in the ass hard) if the guy picks up these hints, that might be when he asks about her friends.

Everyone at times does like attention or a cuddle, so I can relate t....and that was fuckin gross... i don't think my room mate knows i'm home.. I just saw him walk out of the bathroom with no pants on... FUCK... erm..

...

....

where was i? oh yeah.. a lit cigarette so i can burn my eyeballs now...

Ok anyway.. um.. oh yeah!

I can relate to her just how daunting it can be to be passed over for that special kind of attention practically all the time. It don't need to be getting laid or finding your soulmate, but just someone to share the night with and enjoy the company can be a remarkable thing. Tell her to hang in there, everything happens when it's meant to happen, and when she does find it, she'll know how to appreciate it and not fuck it up like most spoiled douce bags seem to accomplish by taking something good for granted.

[Homicidalheathen]

This happened to me once. A very attractive, and arrogant asshole.....wanted to hit on my freind who is like a 12 on a scale from 1-10. He so was not afraid to approach her, just knew he would get turned down I think so he wanted to make himself feel better by asking the one that might have said yes if the one he knew would turn him down was available......I always thought that is why guys do that......to make themselves feel better cause they know it will be a no.

[Head Wreck]

pussies. ask the girl out yourself not get her friend.

A. her friend isnt gonna back you up if you've just made her feel like the hanger on

b. women generaly like a little confidence

c. its rather un-couth

[BrassFusion]

If you only go for the hot one, you could lose the confidence of her friend.

My solution is to pretend you're gay. Both chicks will throw themselves at you and later you can be all, "I've never felt this way about a woman" with the hot one.

Hell. You could even get a three-way with both of them trying to "experiment" on you.

[torn asunder]

If you only go for the hot one, you could lose the confidence of her friend.

My solution is to pretend you're gay. Both chicks will throw themselves at you and later you can be all, "I've never felt this way about a woman" with the hot one.

Hell. You could even get a three-way with both of them trying to "experiment" on you.

BRILLIANT!! :peanutbutterjellytime

[Head Wreck]

*plays i wish i was queer, so i can get chicks by the bloodhound gang*

[Brenda Starrr]

I'd rather be told that I'm beautiful. Being told that I'm hot does nothing for me. I don't care who says it.

[odims_sphere]

I'd rather be told that I'm beautiful. Being told that I'm hot does nothing for me. I don't care who says it.

Yur Beeeuuutiiiifulllllll

[Brenda Starrr]

Yur Beeeuuutiiiifulllllll

:blushing

You just want to use my bathroom.

[odims_sphere]

:blushing

You just want to use my bathroom.

Your bathroom is awfully pretty too!

[Brenda Starrr]

Your bathroom is awfully pretty too!

But my new bathroom in Royal Oak will be far prettier!

[odims_sphere]

But my new bathroom in Royal Oak will be far prettier!

You'll have to show me, when's the house warming party?

[BrassFusion]

I'd rather be told that I'm beautiful. Being told that I'm hot does nothing for me. I don't care who says it.

True. Beautiful > hot, but for me, anything relating to my personality trumps either of those. I've even been called "down to earth" lately. Hah! Also good: wise, compelling, honest, funny...

[torn asunder]

i know this is a guy's perspective, but why is this an issue!? i've had gals do this to me many times before - far as i'm concerned, if i can help a buddy out by letting him know someone's interested in him, i'm glad to do it, and if she's not interested in/attracted to me, why would i be upset/offended by it!? i really don't get it, but then again, i guess i'm fairly secure in myself... maybe it's a self-esteem issue!?

[pomba gira]

I'd rather be told that I'm beautiful. Being told that I'm hot does nothing for me. I don't care who says it.

Never thought about that but it's so true... when I was cruising the personals I almost never replied to anyone whose opening line was "hey your pics are hot". "hot" shows... I dunno... total lack of imagination for one thing... just screams of shallowness & objectification.

& HH... tell your friend that any guy who does that isn't worthy of her anyway. She's actually lucky these loutish cretins are announcing themselves as such right off the bat.

[Brenda Starrr]

True. Beautiful > hot, but for me, anything relating to my personality trumps either of those. I've even been called "down to earth" lately. Hah! Also good: wise, compelling, honest, funny...

This boils down to inner beauty. I was told that I have "true inner beauty." That means more to me that ANYTHING.

[Hellion]

Personality is my biggest factor,good personalities mean alot IMO.

[sass_in_the_pants]

i know this is a guy's perspective, but why is this an issue!? i've had gals do this to me many times before - far as i'm concerned, if i can help a buddy out by letting him know someone's interested in him, i'm glad to do it, and if she's not interested in/attracted to me, why would i be upset/offended by it!? i really don't get it, but then again, i guess i'm fairly secure in myself... maybe it's a self-esteem issue!?

Well, it's rude when a girl does it to a guy, too. Because despite what you may be saying to the girl, what she hears is this 'You aren't worth talking to. You are only worth talking to if you can get me access to someone else, who I like more than you, by the way, because she looks better'. I know, I know, that's not what men are saying, but that's what women are hearing. Some women don't care. Some do. The tricky part is you never know which type of woman you're talking to.

Besides, HeadWreck said it best. Pussies.

[torn asunder]

Well, it's rude when a girl does it to a guy, too. Because despite what you may be saying to the girl, what she hears is this 'You aren't worth talking to. You are only worth talking to if you can get me access to someone else, who I like more than you, by the way, because she looks better'. I know, I know, that's not what men are saying, but that's what women are hearing. Some women don't care. Some do. The tricky part is you never know which type of woman you're talking to.

Besides, HeadWreck said it best. Pussies.

something is only rude if you let it offend you, so the offense is entirely the fault of the person feeling it, in my opinion... it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with "'You aren't worth talking to. You are only worth talking to if you can get me access to someone else, who I like more than you, by the way, because she looks better'" - that is that person's own insecurities talking... people have different types, and maybe they're not the type he's interested in. of course, i can see it coming across poorly if it's the first & only thing said, but that's got more to do with manners & common courtesy (on the part of the asker) than it does anything else. if it's worked into a conversation, it can be fine, but it takes some tact & sensitivity. respect comes across in behavior more than words...

[sass_in_the_pants]

something is only rude if you let it offend you, so the offense is entirely the fault of the person feeling it, in my opinion...

Huh?

If someone's offended, it's their own fault?

Please explain. I think I'm missing something.

[Reaper]

I am always up for hooking up a friend, even if she is good looking or bad looking. I don't think I have ever taken offense to any woman asking me about another guy. Hey, if she isn't into my type or look, then let me feel happy for the friend I MAY make happy by introducing her to him. I don't think its an issue of her being better than you in his eyes. He just found something that caught his eye and it could have been in a sea of women. Hey, it happens, but you can't just off someone for playing with your peanut butter. :peanutbutterjellytime

[pomba gira]

Well, it's rude when a girl does it to a guy, too. Because despite what you may be saying to the girl, what she hears is this 'You aren't worth talking to. You are only worth talking to if you can get me access to someone else, who I like more than you, by the way, because she looks better'. I know, I know, that's not what men are saying, but that's what women are hearing. Some women don't care. Some do. The tricky part is you never know which type of woman you're talking to.

Besides, HeadWreck said it best. Pussies.

Exactly.

Doesn't matter what may have been meant- what's heard/interpreted is what makes the impression... and if you are going to be dealing with this person in even the most brief, superficial way, it's in your interest to make a halfway decent impression. Whether or not offense is the fault of the offended (and I'm sorry TA but I find that an appalling statement), the fact remains that if you go around offending people at will- you still have to deal with most of those people and those dealings are not going to go as well for you as they would if you'd just exercised a modicum of tact and compassion.

This is something I have to explain A LOT to Asperger's and emotionally impaired kids, who are often incapable of viewing situations from anyone else's perspective. Kind of hard to put it into adult language so I hope that made sense!

[darkndeadly]

something is only rude if you let it offend you, so the offense is entirely the fault of the person feeling it, in my opinion... it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with "'You aren't worth talking to. You are only worth talking to if you can get me access to someone else, who I like more than you, by the way, because she looks better'" - that is that person's own insecurities talking... people have different types, and maybe they're not the type he's interested in. of course, i can see it coming across poorly if it's the first & only thing said, but that's got more to do with manners & common courtesy (on the part of the asker) than it does anything else. if it's worked into a conversation, it can be fine, but it takes some tact & sensitivity. respect comes across in behavior more than words...

I think I will have to agree with you. I wouldn't be offended at all. Everyone can be a little shy. What does it hurt if he wants to get the low down on her before he makes a move. If a girl gets offended by a guy asking her about her friend it is because she doesn't have confidence in herself and it's a guy that she wishes was asking about her is what it really comes down to. Hey, if he is hot and he isn't into you then be glad for your friend that she has a hot guy that is interested in her. Everybody is going to have a type of person they like. They can't help it if that weren't into you.............................D&D

[Brenda Starrr]

Having a child with Asperger's as I do, I'm really impressed with the fact that he does say that girls are beautiful. However, he WILL say that a girl is "hot" as well. I guess it balances out somehow to him....