I Love This Woman

[Onyx]

  BrassFusion said:

The only thing I didn't like about the video was how she said that 95-98% of people who lose (what was it, like 50 or more lbs?) gain it back within a year, and "95-98%? That means EVERYBODY."

That was just... sad. It's hard to lose weight, granted, and it's ridiculous that fat people are treated like shit for something that REALLY isn't their fault a good 50% of the time, but that doesn't mean people who are unhealthy because of their weight can't affect a permanent lifestyle change that results in a longer, healthier life.

Yeah, that was a little too extreme, but I think she was referring to crash dieting. Being healthy has to be a whole lifestyle change, not just starving oneself to lose without changing anything else.

How did everyone miss the part where she said she will swim, play softball and basketball and not hide because she is fat? I mean really I do know some ladies who won't go to a beach or a gym. It's really sad because it hurts their health even more and becomes a vicious cycle, and why should people be made to feel as if they have to hide? Somehow it's seen as shameful to be seen in public in exercise clothes or a bathing suit unless you have a perfect figure. Nobody should feel like they have to hide in their house.

[BrassFusion]

oh, bingo, onyx, bingo all the way.

fat can't hurt you nearly as much as laziness can

[torn asunder]

  BrassFusion said:

That was just... sad. It's hard to lose weight, granted, and it's ridiculous that fat people are treated like shit for something that REALLY isn't their fault a good 50% of the time,

sorry, but where the hell did you pull that number from!?! do you really think that 50% of the overweight population has a strictly medical reason for being that heavy? now i didn't look anything up either, but i bet the number is closer to 5% than 50%... most of our problem with obesity is due to improper diet, and the other major part is lack of exercise, both of which fall within one's own responsibility...

[torn asunder]

  Onyx said:

I mean really I do know some ladies who won't go to a beach or a gym. It's really sad because it hurts their health even more and becomes a vicious cycle, and why should people be made to feel as if they have to hide? Somehow it's seen as shameful to be seen in public in exercise clothes or a bathing suit unless you have a perfect figure. Nobody should feel like they have to hide in their house.

very true - i'd love to see more overweight people (and more people in general, really) out in exercise clothes (provided they're actually *exercising* in them!!) point i'm trying to make is that if you're watching your meals, and exercising (example: floating around in the water doesn't qualify as "swimming" a.f.a. exercise is concerned) eventually, you will lose weight - if you're not, then for most people (medical issues aside) it has to be a problem with one of those two things...

[BrassFusion]

  torn asunder said:

sorry, but where the hell did you pull that number from!?! do you really think that 50% of the overweight population has a strictly medical reason for being that heavy? now i didn't look anything up either, but i bet the number is closer to 5% than 50%... most of our problem with obesity is due to improper diet, and the other major part is lack of exercise, both of which fall within one's own responsibility...

I pulled the number out of my ass, because it's arbitrary AND subjective.

Was it MY fault for being obese when I was 6? Or was it perhaps my parents' fault? There's no clinical answer.

[torn asunder]

  BrassFusion said:

I pulled the number out of my ass, because it's arbitrary AND subjective.

how?

  BrassFusion said:

Was it MY fault for being obese when I was 6? Or was it perhaps my parents' fault? There's no clinical answer.

one's past doesn't have to define one's present/future now, does it?

[Msterbeau]

  BrassFusion said:

I pulled the number out of my ass, because it's arbitrary AND subjective.

Was it MY fault for being obese when I was 6? Or was it perhaps my parents' fault? There's no clinical answer.

At 6? I'd look squarely at mom and dad. They're the people taking care of you. It's their responsibility to make sure you're healthy. Unless of course you're genetically predisposed to being heavy... Then they're off the hook (As long as they made an effort) and you can gripe to your deity or imaginary friend of choice.

[BrassFusion]

  torn asunder said:

how?

one's past doesn't have to define one's present/future now, does it?

Lemme put it this way... It's not my fault for "being" fat. It was my fault for continuing the unhealthy habits of my childhood between the ages of 18 and 22- over that period of time, I maintained my weight, so it was symptomatic of an unhealthy lifestyle.

Now, I've lost 40 lbs since then, and I'm healthier and stronger than I've ever been. As long as I maintain my new healthy lifestyle, I'll probably lose weight till I balance out around 150 or so. If I work harder and make a hobby out of weight training or play in a softball league (I've been wanting to try that for years), I might lose more.

My past only defines my present to the extent that if I was raised differently, I would be 150-ish NOW instead of two years from now.

[BrassFusion]

  Msterbeau said:

At 6? I'd look squarely at mom and dad. They're the people taking care of you. It's their responsibility to make sure you're healthy. Unless of course you're genetically predisposed to being heavy... Then they're off the hook (As long as they made an effort) and you can gripe to your deity or imaginary friend of choice.

I'm from a fat family, of course, there's PROBABLY a genetic element there, but they made little or no effort to counteract that. At least not an educated effort. That's the one thing I know I have over my parents for when I raise kids of my own...

As for griping to my imaginary friends, A. I have none and B. what good could it do? Exercising is more fun than praying, anyway. It's a goddamn shame I can't convince my parents to take walks with me.

[bean]

Thanks for the info, torn. Unfortunately, that formula doesn't quite work for me because my body is screwed up. I would never lose weight if I followed that formula.

I'm one of those fat people that hides. I will only walk in the middle of the night so people won't see me. I will not go in pools or to beaches. If I had money for a gym membership, I wouldn't use it because I don't want people looking at me. There are days I won't leave the house because I don't want people looking at me. One of the main reasons I would get so incredibly drunk when I went out was so I wouldn't be self-conscious about myself. *shrugs*

[BrassFusion]

  bean water said:

Thanks for the info, torn. Unfortunately, that formula doesn't quite work for me because my body is screwed up. I would never lose weight if I followed that formula.

I'm one of those fat people that hides. I will only walk in the middle of the night so people won't see me. I will not go in pools or to beaches. If I had money for a gym membership, I wouldn't use it because I don't want people looking at me. There are days I won't leave the house because I don't want people looking at me. One of the main reasons I would get so incredibly drunk when I went out was so I wouldn't be self-conscious about myself. *shrugs*

The people who would judge you are assholes anyway... they don't matter. That's the only way I can go to a gym full of Fabios and work out; I remind myself that any of the ones who think negatively about me are empty inside.

[n0Mad]

At 6 I was taking ballet classes, jazz dancing classes, playing kick ball during recess, climbing trees in my back yard, biking all over the neighborhood, and hiking through the woods near my house. Oh, I had the option to watch TV and there were a few shows I always tried to catch, but I just enjoyed how I felt with an active lifestyle.

[torn asunder]

  bean water said:

Thanks for the info, torn. Unfortunately, that formula doesn't quite work for me because my body is screwed up. I would never lose weight if I followed that formula.

if you're trying to tell me you need to starve yourself to lose weight, you're dead wrong - sure, you'll lose weight, but you'll be even less healthy. and yes, that formula will work for you, if you read/research it enough to understand it. but, it's your life, you can go about it any way you see fit...

[the eternal]

  Spook said:

And us thin people shouldn't be made to feel guilty because we've been eating healthy and exercising our whole lives.

Please don't everyone jump on me for flaming, but Spook, not you, NOT YOU, but that comment above is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read in my life!

Yes, how silly of me, missing that hit TV show "The biggest gainer" where society and the TV viewing public piles mounds of accolades on people for getting fat.

And then of course there's Miss USA, where fat women are given scholarships and serenaded and judged by celebrities for being big boned and curvy.

Oh, and then there's that Hollywood epidemic, where all the young starlets are trying to add on a few pounds for the camera due to their upcoming roles.

It seems like everywhere you go, big IS big.

You know everyone's saying "Wow, she's fat how can I be like her. I'm so stupid for always working out"

Then, of course, there's the people that are dying every year because they try so hard to get fat, but they just end up on a hospital bed, because they can't quite get there.

Oh, the oppression that people who are eating healthy and exercising their whole lives face

Literally, Spook, how do you get up in the morning, especially when you've got anonymous, unpaid youtube actors with absolutely no power, making you feel so guilty?

________________________________________________________________________________

_______

As for me, I have a good metabolism.

Great?

No.

But very good.

I feel fat right now.

I dont look fat, but I feel it.

I get stressed and I eat too much.

And I liked myself better when I was thinner.

I felt attractive.

I lost the weight when I was exercising and eating less.

I've gained some back due to stupidity, but I try to keep that in check.

But it'll never be good enough for me, anyway.

I'll ALWAYS be too fat and ugly.

So, WHY am I thinner than some other people

Because my metabolism is much faster than theirs----PLAIN AND SIMPLE

________________________________________________________________________________

______

The simple message of this video is:

People, especially women, are made to hate their bodies and moreover hate themselves.

Don't hate yourself!!!

Be healthy, but don't take it to crazy extremes, and don't let anyone make you feel any less than you are.

You're beautiful! Be proud of that!

That's it! Anyone who took it as an indictment against other people being thin, either didn't watch carefully or has their own issues to work out.

  torn asunder said:

if you're trying to tell me you need to starve yourself to lose weight, you're dead wrong - sure, you'll lose weight, but you'll be even less healthy. and yes, that formula will work for you, if you read/research it enough to understand it. but, it's your life, you can go about it any way you see fit...

I find your commentary a little condescending(but I know your thoughts almost always come from a good place)----

So, here's the deal about Bean. Her body is majorly f*&^ed up! She lived a wild life at one point and has poor genetics.

The combination of those two things had made her metabolism slower than a snail in a pool of molasses. I eat more for breakfast than she does in an entire week, and frankly it scares me.

That said, she's doing what she feels she needs to do, and I support her. I fell in love her when she was bigger, and that'll hold steady regardless of where her weight falls.

My biggest hope is that she can get a job with health insurance and find out exactly why her body is so out of wack,

and see if there is something that can regulate things.

I swear to g-d, when I hear comics or condescending fitness people talk about:

you just aren't trying

OR

that all fat people are lazy

and I look at how ridiculously little Bean eats just to lose a pound or two ,

AND

the pain and stress she goes through every day, I want to take out a gun and shoot people.

Not any of you of course.

I need witnesses

[bean]

  torn asunder said:

if you're trying to tell me you need to starve yourself to lose weight, you're dead wrong - sure, you'll lose weight, but you'll be even less healthy. and yes, that formula will work for you, if you read/research it enough to understand it. but, it's your life, you can go about it any way you see fit...

*sigh* I wasn't trying to say that I need to starve myself to lose weight.

When I actually had money to go to the doctor, she said that I should be able to lose weight eating 1400 calories a day and working out a few times a week. I tried it, and I lost only 2 pounds in a month. That's ridiculous. I will research the formula though.

[the eternal]

Have you tried the secret?

Maybe if you: ASK the universe to be thin

BELIEVE you'll be thin, you'll

RECEIVE the thin body you always wanted?

It worked for Oprah.

Before she was simply an all powerful billionaire.

NOW, she's an all powerful billionaire.... with a SECRET

SHHHH, I won't tell a soul.

[bean]

  the eternal said:

I eat more for breakfast than she does in an entire week, and frankly it scares me.

That's NOT true.

If I ate that little, I would be thin right now, and I'm not. I eat plenty.

I hate when you say that you're fat. You're not at all. You don't even come close. I think you're sexy and very attractive. But, I understand your thoughts my dear, because I will probably never feel like I'm thin enough (if I ever end up being thin) or that I'm attractive. We need therapy, hehe.

[n0Mad]

eternal - Thank you for proving my point. Your whole post seemed like it was trying to induce guilt in thin people. It's that whole, "Oh, you have it so easy because you have a perfect body." I was not blessed with this physique. I had to work for it. During my critical years of development pre-puberty and through puberty into young adolesence I led a very active lifestyle. I wanted to be fit, trim, and muscular so I made that while Mother Nature was sculpting me I would provide her with the mold I wanted. Many of my family members both extended and imediate didn't and now they're struggling to try and lose weight.

People say I'm blessed with a high metabolism and good genetics. They see me gorge on junk and sit around all lazy. They think it comes easy to me and they try to make me feel guilty 'cuz "I'm so perfect and they struggle so much". I'll admit that yes, it is a lot easier for me to stay fit but that's because I spent about a decade busting my ass with rigorous exercise and eating healthy to get this way. I did all the work then so I won't have to now. But it takes upkeep though and what most people don't see is all the work I spend to keep myself this way.

Dieting isn't a fad or a miracle cure, it's a lifestyle and one I chose for myself over two dozen years ago.

[BrassFusion]

  Spook said:

eternal - Thank you for proving my point. Your whole post seemed like it was trying to induce guilt in thin people. It's that whole, "Oh, you have it so easy because you have a perfect body." I was not blessed with this physique. I had to work for it. During my critical years of development pre-puberty and through puberty into young adolesence I led a very active lifestyle. I wanted to be fit, trim, and muscular so I made that while Mother Nature was sculpting me I would provide her with the mold I wanted. Many of my family members both extended and imediate didn't and now they're struggling to try and lose weight.

People say I'm blessed with a high metabolism and good genetics. They see me gorge on junk and sit around all lazy. They think it comes easy to me and they try to make me feel guilty 'cuz "I'm so perfect and they struggle so much". I'll admit that yes, it is a lot easier for me to stay fit but that's because I spent about a decade busting my ass with rigorous exercise and eating healthy to get this way. I did all the work then so I won't have to now. But it takes upkeep though and what most people don't see is all the work I spend to keep myself this way.

Dieting isn't a fad or a miracle cure, it's a lifestyle and one I chose for myself over two dozen years ago.

What the FUCK, dude!!!

We (fat people and friends...? i couldn't think of a better way to word this lol) aren't angry at you for being skinny! We're pissed off because a lot of people undervalue us just because we're fat. And it's not just skinny people doing it, either. I can't blame YOU for culture, or man's natural attraction to an hourglass shape, or the simple fact that my ass is fat, and I don't.

I mean, I've heard of white guilt, but... thin guilt?

[BrassFusion]

  Quote

At 6 I was taking ballet classes, jazz dancing classes, playing kick ball during recess, climbing trees in my back yard, biking all over the neighborhood, and hiking through the woods near my house. Oh, I had the option to watch TV and there were a few shows I always tried to catch, but I just enjoyed how I felt with an active lifestyle.

[...]

Dieting isn't a fad or a miracle cure, it's a lifestyle and one I chose for myself over two dozen years ago.

One doesn't "choose" a lifestyle at the age of 6. If that were the norm, people would be in college or entering the workforce by 8.

[the eternal]

I was sooo nonplussed with Spook's response, I thought about responding.

But I didn't, because

A. I dont want to get into the back and forths I used to

AND

B. Erin put it perfectly

This email is to thank you Erin for saving me the time and thought of responding to him.

One more thing:

There's nothing wrong with a fat ass! (in my book)

I've tried other asses, none of them seemed to please me.

The only women that I ever felt something for inevitably have the same makeup:

1. Short

2. Big Boobs

3. Big ass

I told one of my friends I couldnt ever travel to Africa, because I'd end up in jail for chronic harrassment.

Of course that was before I met Bean.

She's more than welcoming to my advances

[Gauge]

  the eternal said:

Have you tried the secret?

Maybe if you: ASK the universe to be thin

BELIEVE you'll be thin, you'll

RECEIVE the thin body you always wanted?

It worked for Oprah.

Before she was simply an all powerful billionaire.

NOW, she's an all powerful billionaire.... with a SECRET

SHHHH, I won't tell a soul.

while i realize that your joking, it can help things along. believe youll be thin, know you can do it, keep positive, im not saying that if you do this the universe will grant you the body youve always wanted but the more positive you can be about everything the more motivated it will make you feel, and the more youll want to work out or whatever it is that you do to get fit and healthy. theres also the fact that the less stress you have in your life the easyer the pounds will be comming off so a positive attitude can help a lot.

[BrassFusion]

The positive attitude helps regardless, really. Doesn't it always?

[torn asunder]

  the eternal said:

The combination of those two things had made her metabolism slower than a snail in a pool of molasses. I eat more for breakfast than she does in an entire week, and frankly it scares me.

  the eternal said:

and I look at how ridiculously little Bean eats just to lose a pound or two

it's exactly this that i'm talking about... eating that little puts your body in starvation mode, and, by design, it will fight tooth and nail to hang onto whatever it can. when the body thinks it's starving, it goes into survival mode, which is to store as much of the incoming energy it can as fat on the body, in case it doesn't get any more in the future. this is the worst thing you can possibly do to your body for your health!! i'm not trying to be an ass or rude, but i really wish people would read up on this thing more, because anyone who takes this approach is setting themselves up, both for failure, and for increasingly poorer health in the future. did either of you read any of the information on the link i posted? i really hope you do, because this method is destroying both your metabolism (making it even harder to lose weight) and your body. (forcing it to feed on itself by breaking down muscle tissue for energy, which again, decreases metabolism, ad infinitum...)

here's an example... a woman who weighs 160 and is 5'8" and does light exercise/sport 3x/week needs to eat 2125 calories per day to maintain her body weight - eating 1624/day will help her lose approx. 1 lb a week. (the general consensus is that it's unsafe to try to lose more than 2lbs/week) her basal metabolic rate @160 (energy expended just to exist - no walking, working, etc - just to lay there for 24 hrs.) requires 1545cal/day. most every person i've talked to/read online says that going below 1200 calories for *anyone* is detrimental to weight loss, due to the starvation instinct inherent in the body.

i read a pretty good analogy regading this the other day. if you build a fire, but don't put any wood on it, it will burn slower and slower and will eventually burn out - however, if you add fuel to it (within a certain range, obviously) it will burn hotter & hotter! this is where the formulas come in. seriously, if you guys would like to pm me, i'd love to discuss some of this stuff with you, or at least point you in a direction to find some additional information to help you understand this subject better... =)

[BrassFusion]

Trueness... personally, I eat when I have an appetite, what I have an appetite for, and as much as I want before I start to feel full. I can't exercise on an empty stomach and it always makes me hungrier than if I sit around at home, but I've been losing weight doing this...

I just think about exercising as a way to refine the fuel.

And I know I'm not losing weight as rapidly as Bean or as most people do, but I feel so good about myself I don't really care.