Marriage Or Co-habbitation After A Few Dates

[Homicidalheathen]

This past few months I have had one person tell me he wanted me to move in with him in Tenn. We have never met.

He is very well to do.....not nuts....I don't think.....maybe just desparate......? He lives out in the middle of no where. He doesn't get out to meet people much. The only time he has any fun is when he drives quite a ways to a concert or flys out of state.

Who the hell asks someone they never met to move in? I could wipe you out totally sir. You might come home and everything would be gone.

This other guy....we have only hung out a few times. NO sex. We do sometimes fall asleep cuddling because I get a bit tipsy......but still. He proposed.

I think he is either 1) nuts.

2) stupid

3) crazy.

Other than that he SEEMS ok. Own house, car.....good job. Attractive and well spoken. Must be kinda nuts?

Personally I would wait until I lived with someone at least a yr before marrying them.......and would not let someone move in with me unless we had been not just dating, but haning out for months on a regular basis.

I mean, you know.....I could be a serial killer or something.

Why are people moving so fast these days?

Hell, we (me and mine) dated for 2 months before living together.....talked on the phone for 2 months before dating......and lived together for 2 yrs before marrying.

Because you can never be too careful. Especially when you have little ones. Which I did at the time.

Anyone on here ever move too fast?

[BrassFusion]

pretty sure everyone on this board moves too fast, lol. i won't link to specific posts, but... seems like that behavior runs rampant

[Homicidalheathen]

I think people move faster than they used to. My kids can afford to be cautious as I am not kicking them out until they can totally suport themselves and then some.

Just stupid. What the hell is this guy thinking? He goes out of town for long periods of time all the time.....and is rather wealthy. I could have my friends show up with a u haul and just take everything!

Just nuts.

[BrassFusion]

people aren't moving faster than they used to. if anything, first marriages have been getting later and later on average, along with increased prevalence of non-married cohabitation, so people get weirded out when someone talks marriage when the couple isn't already living together, or hasn't been screwing for about a year.

[Homicidalheathen]

Then maybe I just meet all the desparate people cause I know way too many people moving way to fast.....or take marriage vows too lightly.

And this shit.....going to spend the weekend with someone you never met and that no one you know knows, across the country. And then you don't call anyone for the first day and half and let them know if your ok. And he lives way out in the middle of no where.

And her reasoning? He is well off. Geez.

Ok rant over. But it pissed me off.

[JaneDead]

i don't think i have ever moved too fast on anything. i am way too lazy for that.

i met my husband when i had just turned 16. we were friends for a long time (went through periods of not hanging out at all due to other stuff going on in life) started dating him when i was 23 i think it was... got engaged just under a year of dating... got married 7 months after that (looking back i now think THAT was too fast) a month before i was 25. and ya know what? even after all that time, i still actually didn't REALLY know the guy. i don't think you know someone at all til you live with them! and then even if you live together THEN get married another side of them can still come out.

[Homicidalheathen]

Oh god yes.....reading this I am remembering at least 3 big lies told to me that I held to be true when I did the deed so many years ago.....

And it does make a difference. You have to be honest with yourself and know yourself enough before you get married.

Not like, oh when I am with this person I know I will be so happy and motivated I will start doing what I want then.......I find that allot.

No one is going to 'fix' you.