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Parody


Vater Araignee

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I cant remember where I found it but it must have been a Malkavian web page

sung to the tune of "Lump" by the Presidents of the United States of America

He's Malk, He's Malk, He's Malk,

He's still in bed.

He's Malk, He's Malk, He's Malk,

He's hit his head.

He lies around and just complains,

about all the boredom and apathy today,

He acts like he's the only man,

who ever spends more time out at work than in the can.

He's Malk, He's Malk, He's Malk,

He's MalkContent.

He's Malk, He's Malk, He's Malk,

He's really bent.

He falls from bed down to the floor,

He's run out of blood and he's groping round for more,

He's got a body inside a box,

It looks like a 2 month old, decapitated fox.

He's Malk, He's Malk, He's Malk,

He's an undead.

He's Malk, He's Malk, He's Malk,

And still in bed.

Someone punch him, before he goes to sleep,

To make sure his apathy doesn't spread too deep,

I'd do it myself, but I don't care,

I'll just sit right here, with my blood-stained teddy bear

I'm Malk, I'm Malk, I'm Malk,

I'm just like him.

I'm Malk, I'm Malk, I'm Malk,

I'm pretty dim.

Now I can see his point of view,

And now, I'll happily explain it all to you,

You live forever, but there's nothing to do,

But lie around, watch TV and catch a few

I'm Malk, I'm Malk, I'm Malk,

And I can't be fucked.

your turn to add one too.

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My husband sings nonsense songs all day long, often to the tune of other music. But it's different every time.

He likes to substitute the word "squirrels" for "girls" when possible. As in, "Squirrels just wanna have fun" or "Squirrels squirrels squirrels" as in Motley Crue's "Girls Girls Girls". That's pretty silly.

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If by ICP visited by Vater & GR

it's not done but ....

in order, for one to metamorphasize, from one's inner self being projected out into

the astral plane and to dematerialize into an inanimate object or another living

organism for that matter is entirely and absolutely impossible, however

If I was on stage I'd be like, look at me

If I was shooting star I'd be like "the shows free"

If I was a pogo stick I'd be like bounce

If I was a tiger I'd be like pounce

If I was a vehicle I'd be a Mac truck

and If I was barreling down on you, you'd turn into muck

If I was Megastar I'd be running and screamin

'cause of all the little groupies begging for my semen

If I was Lorana Bobit i'd have used a spade

But if I Jon Bobit I'd be like "Fuck you I still get laid"

If I was fart I'd be a SBD

and laugh as every one runs away from me

If I was Byron I'd be a hell of a poet

and you wouldn't have to tell me 'cause I'd all ready know it

If I was source magazine obviously I'd be racist

but then I'd change my format to get my readers pissed

If I was your other personality I'd be taking control

If I had A gun to your head I'd give you a new hole

If I was your asshole I'd hate your mouth, its true

I'd be like "Hey why only the good things get put in you?"

If I was a chair I'd be like "sit here"

and If I was your boy friends face I'd be like "sit here"

If I was a butterfly I'd simply go splat

If I was a bum on your street I'd eat your cat

If I was a strip club DJ I'd be bored with tities

If I had the money I'd move back to the city

If I was a vampire I'd be biting your neck

but then I'd turn ya and make another mental wreck

If I was her nipple I'd want to knock out your tooth

If I was the government I wouldn't tell the truth

If I was your butt hole I'd be backing up

and if you where my owner you'd be screaming FUCK

[Chorus]

If I was If I was but I'll never be

(If I was If I was but I'll never be)

If I was If I was but I'll never be

(If I was If I was but I'll never be)

If I was If I was boy your killing me

(If I was If I was boy your killing me)

If I was If I was but I'll never be

(If I was If I was but I'll never be)

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If I was on stage I'd be like, look at me

If I was shooting star I'd be like "the shows free"

If I was a pogo stick I'd be like bounce

If I was a tiger I'd be like pounce

If I was a vehicle I'd be a Mac truck

and If I was barreling down on you, you'd turn into muck

If I was Megastar I'd be running and screamin

'cause of all the little groupies begging for my semen

If I was Lorana Bobit i'd have used a spade

But if I Jon Bobit I'd be like "Fuck you I still get laid"

If I was fart I'd be a SBD

and laugh as every one runs away from me

If I was Byron I'd be a hell of a poet

and you wouldn't have to tell me 'cause I'd all ready know it

If I was source magazine obviously I'd be racist

but then I'd change my format to get my readers pissed

If I was your other personality I'd be taking control

If I had A gun to your head I'd give you a new hole

If I was your asshole I'd hate your mouth, its true

I'd be like "Hey why only the good things get put in you?"

If I was a chair I'd be like "sit here"

and If I was your boy friends face I'd be like "sit here"

If I was a butterfly I'd simply go splat

If I was a bum on your street I'd eat your cat

If I was a strip club DJ I'd be bored with tities

If I had the money I'd move back to the city

If I was a vampire I'd be biting your neck

but then I'd turn ya and make another mental wreck

If I was her nipple I'd want to knock out your tooth

If I was the government I wouldn't tell the truth

If I was your butt hole I'd be backing up

and if you where my owner you'd be screaming FUCK

[Chorus]

If I was If I was but I'll never be

(If I was If I was but I'll never be)

If I was If I was but I'll never be

(If I was If I was but I'll never be)

If I was If I was boy your killing me

(If I was If I was boy your killing me)

If I was If I was but I'll never be

(If I was If I was but I'll never be)

:laughing: Good re-make

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OK Which Elder God Are You? reminded me of this one

chorus:

supercalifragilisticexpialidocius

if you say it loud enough youll call upon cthulhu

we know julie andrews is cthulhus great high priestess

supercalifragilisticexpialidocius

it started on a saturday

when i was just a lad

i was watching looney tunes

with acne that was bad

then daffy started writhing

just like he was possessed

choked out this tune, tore off his head

and made an awful mess

(chorus, goddamit!)

i set out in a rowboat

to find the elder god

i found his pal yog-sothot

who was just an ugly sod

he chewed up all my crewmates

my captain and my dog

then he burped, excused himself-

and drank up all my grog

(chorus)

when i finally found cthulhu

he was perched upon a throne

tentacles a-wavin'

lettin' out a ghastly moan

it seems that he had heartburn

from wolfing down ed meese

i gave him pepto-bismol

his burblings to decrease

(chorus)

i found that i was lucky

for some did what i did

and still ended up as sushi

to the giant batwinged squid

and some he blackened cajun style

and others he ate raw

cthulhu shoveled thousands

in the squirming wriggling maw

(chorus i say!)

so if you go to see the god

bring cattle four or five

cos if he gets enough to eat

he may leave you alive

but if the squid wants seconds

it really is a shame

for then you have to call upon >he with no name<

{you mean hastuur?}

(ok, this time plural.ready? chorii)

we worship julie andrews

we wear long robes and pray

we watch the sound of music nearly every single day

we chant to mary poppins

and boo at dick van dyke

{cause hes the only elder god we never really liked!}

(chorus just one more time and then you can go home. this time i mean it,

really!)

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By the way, I like Weird Al, and still have my original AL TV t-shirt from the 80's. I love his parodies. But I could never in my life fathom wanting a whole album of that sort of thing, or listening to it more than once.

ummm... :ermm:

i have 3-4 albums of his... :fear:

:whistling:

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I actually re-wrote and performed many parodies years ago as a warmup act to a friends "serious" punk band. My basis for the parodies wast top 40 Crap...we uptempo-ed the music to meet my Fugazi & Clash preferences in music at the time.

If I ever put that shit out on CD, I swear, You'll all be like "Weird Who?" I was world famous in the UP at the time I decided to step down due to threats of Bell Biv Devoe's legal team taking my ass to the cleaners. LOL

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i make up songs for my kids all the time and sometimes from other songs that are already out there.

one of my favorites is still this one:

dinner time is over

so we wash the plates

ok but i can't remember the rest but that was to the cure's visiting time is over so we walk away and both play dead and cry outloud, why we always cry this way. i kissed you in the water and made your dry lips sing... ok now i wish i remembered the rest of *my* song to that one.

and weird al is my favorite for parodies. some of them i still crack up to.

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ummm...  :ermm:

i have 3-4 albums of his...  :fear:

:whistling:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No offense meant whatsoever, TA, and hopefully none indicated. Didn't say there's anything wrong with a person's ear or tastes if they do so - the guy sold a LOT of albums.

I just can't personally enjoy his stuff too much beyond seeing the videos a few times. To me, the joke is over after a few listens, and I didn't tend to gain much enjoyment from them beyond MTV and a little radio play.

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i like it in that same way - i like to see the video or hear the song but can't/won't listen to it over and over again or a whole album of it. but i am like that with most things "comedy". once you know what to expect it is just not as funny anymore.

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My husband sings nonsense songs all day long, often to the tune of other music. But it's different every time.

He likes to substitute the word "squirrels" for "girls" when possible. As in, "Squirrels just wanna have fun" or "Squirrels squirrels squirrels" as in Motley Crue's "Girls Girls Girls". That's pretty silly.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Has he heard of the cover of the Beastie Boys 'girls'? It's called Squirrels by the Beastly Boys. I heard it on Dr. Demento once.

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Another one bite's my nuts (Queen's Another one bites the dust), Only The Homely (Only the lonely, the Hotels, I think), Stand and eat liver (Adam Ant's Stand & Deliver), and everyone's favorite Just To Buy My Glove (a parody of Ebay utilizing Madonna's Justify My Love, in honor of the "Glove" that got OJ acquitted.) Yeah, just gimme a reason, I'll butcher any song...

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  • 1 month later...

I lay in bed alone in the dark

My stomach hurts I think I gotta fart

Oh great now I gotta wipe my asshole

I tell ya man I shouldn't eat at white castle

A dump A dump It's in my bed

A dump A dump smells like the dead

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