Family Meeting So's.

[Guest Megalicious]

So our trip to CA is coming up rapidly. I can't wait to go home and see my family and my friends. Its been over a year since I've been home, but I'm scared as hell.

Do to the fact that my brother and cousin are rather over protective of me. They have never met Jarod, and they have nothing in common. I was hoping that I would get to come a week before the sweetens, but that didn't happen. ::sigh::

I have been nervous for their meeting anyway but I just got this horrible anxiety after talking to my brother today. Just the tone in which he told me that he "can't wait" to meet Jarod left me with this horrible feeling.

I don't know what to do or say. I know my brother will remain respectful in the fear of me kicking his ass (LOL) However I know how he is, and he can be rather intimedating even when being civil.

When growing up my brother was like my father though we are only 4 years apart so I can see where his overprotectivenesss comes in to play, with my cousins to. We were all very close and I'm the ONLY girl in the family.

Has anyone ever had this sort of fear when having there SO's meeting family? How did you deal with it? What did you use to find some kind of common ground to let them get to know one another, and what was the outcome.

::cowards in fear::

[Msterbeau]

I dunno Meg. My family is generally welcoming. My mom can be a bit aloof but that's about it. Maybe bring a rolled-up newspaper and smack your brother on the nose before he even has a chance to open his mouth. Then give him a stern look. :-)

[Homicidalheathen]

I just go in assuming they wont like me. No matter what I do I cannot hide that I am a bit different. Try not to say much and be polite thats what I do.

[Sybil]

Has anyone ever had this sort of fear when having there SO's meeting family? How did you deal with it? What did you use to find some kind of common ground to let them get to know one another, and what was the outcome.

::cowards in fear::

Oh Poor Grrl!

I think its always a touch "uncomfortable" doing the intros..

Each person has their "personality traits" that you HOPE they dont "display" RIGHT when they meet your new loved one..

I have been nervous at different times introducing people to my dad and brother.

hahahaha

My dad is the strong silent type.

..and my bro is 6'6" tall, so that has intimidated people in the past..

(hahahaha.. and my sis is about 5'10", and that has intimidated a few as well.. haha)

my family is a friendly bunch though, so things always went okay.

If they have hobbies in common, focus on that.

Types of jobs present or past in common?

I have always found that dinner and a movie is a good intro/ice breaker. Good food and a comedy? Who doesnt love that?

Hopefully things go well.

(Why are you so nervous though? If your guy is a good guy, then whats "not to love"?)

Right?

[Destroit]

My my my, I could see why you'd be nervous. I mean everyone is massively nervous when meeting their significant other's family, and IMO even more nervous when introducing them to yours. Well firstly I would warn Jarod and let him know that your family, especially your brother and cousin, are very and unnecessarily overprotective of you and that they may try to say things or something that could make him feel uncomfortable. Let him know, you know, that it isn't him or anything, that your family is just like that with anyone you're with. Tell him to shrug off any comments, and if you brother or your cousin do make any comments, stand up for him and don't back down. Let your brother/cousin know he's being a big dickwad. I'd also try to initiate conversation that isn't one sided also, like talk about things everyone could talk about, not just one party or the other. I'd say like old-time stories or inside joke kinda stuff should be avoided a bit, because obviously one side will be left in the dark in the convo. It may make either of them feel a little alienated, and less inclined to get to know each other. I dunno prolly not that good of advice, hope some of it helps, and good luck with it. Hope you have a good time while you're there.

[Sybil]

My my my, I could see why you'd be nervous. I mean everyone is massively nervous when meeting their significant other's family, and IMO even more nervous when introducing them to yours. Well firstly I would warn Jarod and let him know that your family, especially your brother and cousin, are very and unnecessarily overprotective of you and that they may try to say things or something that could make him feel uncomfortable. Let him know, you know, that it isn't him or anything, that your family is just like that with anyone you're with. Tell him to shrug off any comments, and if you brother or your cousin do make any comments, stand up for him and don't back down. Let your brother/cousin know he's being a big dickwad. I'd also try to initiate conversation that isn't one sided also, like talk about things everyone could talk about, not just one party or the other. I'd say like old-time stories or inside joke kinda stuff should be avoided a bit, because obviously one side will be left in the dark in the convo. It may make either of them feel a little alienated, and less inclined to get to know each other. I dunno prolly not that good of advice, hope some of it helps, and good luck with it. Hope you have a good time while you're there.

**claps**

You give perfect advice.

Not even my situation and i feel better about it.

[sass_in_the_pants]

This, dear Meg, is my specialty.

Let's talk about ice breakers. Do they have ANYTHING in common? Think hard. Has Jarod visited or lived somewhere that your brother might be interested in? Do they both play video games? Watch or play sports? Music? Movies? You would be amazed at how long of a conversation can happen just by saying 'Billy Bob has also visited Gary, Indiana. Billy Bob, weren't you telling me that Gary, Indiana smells like an armpit, too?'

And of course, at the end of the day, they do have something in common - YOU. So, it goes like this - brothers like to tell stories of dumb things their sisters have done, and husbands like to hear said stories. Likewise, I'm sure jarod has some gems he can share about you that your brother would be delighted to hear. Soon enough, they're laughing, chatting, having a good ol time. It's at your expense, mind you, but it's a place to start.

And if all else fails, they can talk about food. EVERYONE can talk about food.

Oh yes, and do you know what everyone's favorite subject is? THEMSELVES, of course! So, does your brother do anything interesting? Another great way to start off a conversation 'So, Meg tells me that you like to eat live scorpions. How's that going for you?' For some reason, the more someone gets to talk about themselves, the more they like the person they're talking to. I can't figure out the math on that one myself, but that's how it works.

And your family will take cues from YOU. So, if you act like Jarod is the best thing ever, they will probably pick up on that, and warm up to him that much quicker.

What attracted you to Jarod? Is he funny? Sweet? Polite? Whatever his good qualities are, they'll shine around your family, just like they do around you.

All your family cares about, really, is that he takes good care of you. When I first brought Guy around my family, my mother was shocked that he helped me clear the plates off the table and he just started in doing the dishes. She fell in love with him immediately and couldn't stop telling me how charming she thought he was. But mothers are different than brothers and cousins. It wasn't until later, after some vodka shots, when my husband gave himself a wedgie so hard that he ripped the elastic waistband off of his underwear. After that, my cousins found him charming. So, to each his own.

You love him. Your family loves you. Your family will love Jarod.

[Guest Megalicious]

Thanks for your advice everyone =) We leave on Tuesday, wish me luck

[Marblez]

Luck!

[saechalyn]

Good luck to you both!!

[CatsEyeOfTheWiccan]

Well, I know you can do this..*hugs yah*..think postive and come with a welcoming heart and mind..things be ok...I sware..if not..let me know I will always be there for you.

-CatsEye

[creatureofthenyte]

I think you shouldn't worry about it.

Either their gonna get along or they're not.

Worst case scenario,

if they don't like each other,

if at least,

they can tolerate each other when they are near each other,

then that's better then tradin punches er somethin.

You can talk to both your brother and your guy, separately all you want.

The real test will come when they meet each other and talk to each other.

You can't predict how its gonna go, and you can't control either one of them,

so why worry about something that is beyond your control ?

You can just hope for the best, and let them take it from there.

Good luck, I hope it works out the way you want it to.

[Kit Kat P]

I hope all is going well for you. I'm here in CA if you need someone close to vent to.