Key Traits Of The Ideal Mate ?

[Troy Spiral (13)]

What are some key things that you feel you pretty much "have to have" in a relationship. (romantic , serious relationship)

Specifically, not just like "love" or "attraction". (I'm going to assume these two heh)

[Crazed Vampyress]

This may be totally horrible to admit but i think for me *gulp* one of the most important things is that the other person likes many of the things about me that i dont. Someone who i can feel sees me at my worst- bad habits, crazy moments, my fears and doubts- and is still there anyways.

This has only happened with one person in my life, and even tho the relationship didnt work out, he is to this day (five years later) my very very best friend.

You see everything, you see every part

You see all my light and you love my dark

You dig everything of which I'm ashamed

There's not anything to which you can’t relate

And you’re still here -Alanis

[Vater Araignee]

Sexual compatibility that goes beyond "love" or "attraction".

[creatureofthenyte]

well for starters, a pulse usually is a good thing.

[pharoh]

Ya this is a great thread.

Someone who's honest, loving, not a schemer or plotter, ambitious. FAITHFUL, and of course horny all the time

(edited for more)

Also a sense of adventure, and someone with some compassion would be nice too.

Did I mention Horny too

Edited July 12, 2007 by pharoh

[sass_in_the_pants]

well for starters, a pulse usually is a good thing.

I like this answer. It's important to set the bar low, and work your way up from there.

For me, it was humor, compassion and patience. And he has to love me all the time, even when I'm a bitch (which is of course, never, because I'm perfect). And I will tell you this, I wasn't looking for someone with those qualities specifically, but I found him, and once I realized what I had, I wasn't about to let him go. Mama didn't raise no fool (actually, she did, but sometimes even fools get it right).

I remember when we were dating, we went to see the bat exhibit at Cranbrook. We spent a very nice afternoon there, and afterwards, he needed to stop by the store to get some allergy medicine. He pulled out his credit card. I said Why don't you just use your cash?' and he said 'Because I gave it all to the bats.'

I said, 'Oh, well, why don't you just use my money, the money I had you hold for me?'

And he said 'Because you also gave all of your money to the bats.'

'WHAT?!?! I gave you almost FORTY dollars! And you gave it to BATS! You gave ALL my money to stupid flying rodents!'

'But they NEEDED it, don't you see? I mean, you HAVE a job, you can just go out and make more money. No one's going to hire a bat. How are they supposed to make money if no one will hire them? They need to eat. You would let them starve, wouldn't you? Even Flap, the cute one. you liked him, would you let him starve? You can be so heartless sometimes! And you'll hurt their feelings if you call them rodents. They're mammals, sure, but they're in their own family.'

He was absolutely serious about all of that, too. He was not in the least little bit sorry that he gave my money to bats. To this day, he isn't sorry. I realized then that if he's this nice to lowly 'ol bats, he would surely treat me with even greater kindness. I was right. I like being right.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

Someone who puts up with me. Without that, nothign else really matters.

[saechalyn]

Someone who feels a genuine connection with ME and isn’t falling “in love” with everyone who comes along just so they don’t have to be alone.

Someone with a high sex drive.

Someone intelligent- it’s not about where or whether they went to college or what job they have, but they have to be able to have an intelligent conversation. Mental stimulation is (almost) as important as physical.

Someone whose words and actions line up. The sweetest words in the world are meaningless without actions to back them up.

Someone whose politics jive with mine- they don’t have to agree with me on every point but I work at Planned Parenthood, so there are some key issues that it’s important we see eye to eye on.

Someone who is not obsessed with anime, video games, role-playing, etc. Note I said not OBSESSED- it’s fine to like those things or any other hobbies, but if it’s something they spend all their waking hours on I am going to get bored with them real quick.

I’m pretty sure I don’t want kids, so it’s important my partner feel the same.

Someone who does not have an excessively crude/vulgar sense of humor. That’s a major turnoff to me.

Since this is about the IDEAL mate...Someone with...balance. Who isn’t a tightwad but isn’t careless with money. Who has ambition but doesn’t spend 90+ hours at the office each week. Who is a responsible adult but still knows how to be silly once in a while. Who believes in quality couple time, alone time and time for friends/hobbies.

I could go on and on...but I’ll shut up here. Yes I have high standards!

[Homicidalheathen]

Upon reflection in mistakes I have made.....being into music is still number one. Why? Because I will spend long nights away from you writing songs with other guys and if you get jelous its a problem. Also, because it may be more important than spending time with you at times....so if it bothers you then you just don't understand. I let him spend hours writing without interuptions. I know wives who get jealous of practice time. We hate it when they bring their girl friends over all the time.....nothing sexual is going on so get over it. I get these glares from girls sitting there while we try to hammer out HIS songs.......wtf? Am I suppose to just do it over the phone or computer? If you give us a uneasy feeling it is hard to work. I love a creative man.

Second is how you take care of yourself. I really don't find a heavy person who eats whatever they want and drinks too much attractive......nor heavy drug use.

Spirituality is part of that........meditation and/or yoga........to have a guy that takes his soul seriously is rare these days.

3rd is sex........someone who is adventurous and wants to do it allot. That is hard to find.

[Sybil]

well for starters, a pulse usually is a good thing.

I was going to say this.

[know_buddy_kares]

Hm for me.. one of the biggest problems I'll be facing is location..

I've done the long distance thing before and it's hell, I kinda don't wanna get involved with a long distance thing again unless it's genuinly worth it.

Comunication is also a big factor.

I want someone who can tell me exactly it is what they're looking for, and will listen to me when i say what i'm looking for. None of this selective hearing bullshit, when I say something I mean it. If they choose to not listen or think they can "change" it's going to be bad news on both of us with drama.

This also fits under personality as well. I like a girl with confidence and self esteem, but not some huge fucking ego thinking she's only good enough for rich and famous glamour type guys. But fortunately, girls like that don't like me either as I'm not rich or famous so.. it's a win win situation right there lmao. But over all, down to earth, a sense of humor like mine is a plus.

There's got to be some physical attractiveness. They got to stay in shape like me. I'm not so picky about small details like boob size or whatever, but showing some hygene and healthy lifestyle is a requirement. Just one small trait is a winner to me though.. black hair.. I dunno why but if she's attractive AND she's got black hair.. good god i'm putty in her palm...

I cannot stand overbearing clingy and jealousy issues. I grew up kinda a loner, and although I appreciate a close bond, but I am going to need my own space in a sense. I'm gonna have to be able to go out and do my own thing, if she wants to come with and have fun that's a bonus, but fucks sakes i can't stand a girl who's up my fucking ass 24/7. Let me explain a bit further. I can spend quite a bit of time with someone, but if they demand i'm touching and holding them the entire time and divert my attention only to them when i'm out, then i'm gonna start to loose interest. If a cute girl tries flirting with me, I am gonna like it, because it's a RARE RARE RARE thing for that to happen. I'm not a jealous guy on this matter either, if a guy flirts with them, so what, it doesn't mean we're going to seriously try pulling them. Everyone likes attention, big fuckin deal, it's nice when someone other than just your partner shows it on ocasion. I also like having friends, and giving them my attention as well. I've alot of good close friends, some of wich are girls... I don't need a girl getting jealous of that shit.

Some common interests are cool, but then I don't want everything being the same, there's bound to be some things that one of us takes an interest in, but the other doesnt. Hey that's cool, that fits into our personal space. Such as writing music, playing video games, writing a book, ect, whatever. I'm sure you girls know what i'm talking about, there's some things you need to be by yourself when doing, and having the guy there trying to compete for your attention as soon as you're not giving it to him gets fuckin annoying. it's cute and all but... the line's gotta be drawn somewhere.

And of course, the wild card.. just the whole attraction. It's random for me, the hottest girl on the planet could walk by, and I won't be attracted to her one bit... it's something of bio chemestry that I can't explain or predict. But yeah, If i could have a perfect match, this would sorta be an outline.

It's like a cat vs a dog... I'll pick the cat as a pet anyday because I don't need to be it's master 24/7. It does it's own thing, and still likes getting cuddles, and pets too. I've never been a dog person, I can't handle an animal that's gotta be right by me all the time having to take care of it entirely. Cat's are more independant. And in a way, that's what I want in a girl.

[Daevion]

....its a secret

[Brenda Starrr]

well for starters, a pulse usually is a good thing.

Someone who puts up with me. Without that, nothign else really matters.

I'd like to add that a penis is a good thing.

[know_buddy_kares]

I'd like to add that a penis is a good thing.

well in my situation... i kinda require my significant other to have a vagoo

[Shade Everdark]

Not that it matters, or is likely to for a long time...

1) A keen wit and intellect.

2) A disdain and contempt for most of humanity.

3) A need for time the fuck away from me.

4) Some capacity for extroversion.

5) Weapons preferred, but optional.

[creatureofthenyte]

I'd like to add that a penis is a good thing.

Only, If you are a woman lookin for a man.

If I ever meet a woman and she is "incorrectly equipped",

I will vomit my guts out, and then be scarred for life

[pharoh]

Only, If you are a woman lookin for a man.

If I ever meet a woman and she is "incorrectly equipped",

I will vomit my guts out, and then be scarred for life

Dude you know you want me

[Fierce Critter]

Above everything else, a willingness and ability to communicate.

Without open lines of communication, nothing else will work. Period.

[EvilEve]

... i agree... and that's all i'm saying.

[Vater Araignee]

Not that it matters, or is likely to for a long time...

1) A keen wit and intellect.

2) A disdain and contempt for most of humanity.

3) A need for time the fuck away from me.

4) Some capacity for extroversion.

5) Weapons preferred, but optional.

If you where a chick and I was single...

[creatureofthenyte]

Dude you know you want me

I can feel a storm brewing in my belly already...

[creatureofthenyte]

ok, time for a serious reply to this thread.

I must admit, it is difficult in a way to reply to this because, alot of what I can say is stuff that has been said by the people who've replied to this already.

So, here goes...

Attractiveness, it has to be mutual.

Communication, HAS to be there and has to be strong.

I've heard stuff in the past that sometimes people think that when someone says one thing, they mean something else instead. Gotta make sure you're on the same page at all times.

Patience; its not so much what you say that matters, its how it is said, and how you react to it, that can make all the difference.

Honesty: I will be 100% honest with you, and I hope to get the same in return, otherwise I'm gone.

This is pretty much it for me, for now, without all the stuff I just listed, nothing else really matters.

[hunhee]

blue eyes ..

(i'm gonna be severly punished for this, but it's worth it)

[creatureofthenyte]

blue eyes ..

(i'm gonna be severly punished for this, but it's worth it)

I have blue eyes..

[hunhee]

I have blue eyes..

OH! excuse me! *helps wipe drool off* *snicker*