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Dating Tips..

hunhee

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hunhee Newbie

hunhee

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my advise....DON'T. just run far run fast and hide. they're all crazy and will drive you crazy if you let them if its not too late for you. SAVE YOURSELF GO GO GO!!!

Hmm..this may be the best advice yet..

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Steven Newbie

Steven

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Every movie, fluff novel... TV show (or psycho ex) i ever saw teaches us 'go with your feelings'. Most of modern pop society is all about "do what feels right", that's whats "taught" culturally.

"Do what feels right" almost always is a recipe for disaster, if its not at least fairly heavily guided by your "non feelings" (also know as intellectual reasoning, the uniquely human thing that even allows us to ponder such stuff) This whole thread is filled with examples of reasoning, and NOT just going with your gut.

Worst decisions I've ever made have been from just letting my guts/emotions do the thinking and not my brain. I'd be very careful about the "do what feels right" line of reasoning.

But then again...if the battle is for your mind, and your intentionally re-tooling the way you think, your feelings start to change and hopefully lead you into much more consistent end result.....I still purposefully try NOT to overthink / overanylize things and go by my gut feelings. But my gut feelings have changed quite a bit from my early 20s to where I am now.....

feelings betray, but so does an unhealthy mind.

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Steven Newbie

Steven

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Don't be blind, watch and keep an eye on everything, that follow your heart shit is bs....I did it twice and like reaper said I got morbidly screwed over

I understand this - but again I see this as a transitional phase of development.

because if your "heart" leads you into unhealthy relationships that offer you very little trust and growth, and constant pain, and yet you stay...................?

then I'd gather that your thoughts (fears) are over ruling your heart.

to me the heart is really just a filter for the mind.

if you "allow" yourself to be repeatedly treated wrong or your constantly talking yourself into or out of shit, there's very littel heart going on there in that transaction, its just that your emotions manifest a split second after your mind decides, and we often confuse one for the other....

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hunhee Newbie

hunhee

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But then again...if the battle is for your mind, and your intentionally re-tooling the way you think, your feelings start to change and hopefully lead you into much more consistent end result.....I still purposefully try NOT to overthink / overanylize things and go by my gut feelings. But my gut feelings have changed quite a bit from my early 20s to where I am now.....

feelings betray, but so does an unhealthy mind.

I hate the whole over-thinking and over-analizing, i try to keep that crap to a minimum. I remember when my best friend was in the dating pool and she used to drive me INSANE with crap she used to think about how HE reacted to things and stupid shit that didn't really matter. If I start to do shit like that.. someone please don't even ask..just SHOOT me ..

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CixWicked Newbie

CixWicked

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Advice for dating from the Cix Man:

  • There is no -waiting period- on a phone number. If s/he gave you the damned number, they're probably interested in talking to you. Stop being stupid and call em.
  • "Why not?" is not an answer to would you like to go out with me. If you are not absolutely interested in dating this person, don't waste your time, or their time. you both deserve better.
  • The best thing to do on a first date are the things that you absolutly enjoy. Look you're propsing the possibility of bringing someone into your life... show that person what your life is like, OR be open to seeing what their life is like. If you love going to the movies, then take them to the movies. IF you love cooking, cook something for them. I love to sing, so Karaoke is always a good first date choice for me. On one date I went to a dog groomers. I didn't even own a dog, but it's what she did for a living and she loved it, and you know what? It was one of -THE BEST- dates I've ever been on.
  • If you want sex, go for it. It -really- dosn't matter to anyone but the two of you. If someone else has something to say about it, either they aren't getting any or their are jealouse. Conversely, if you -don't- want to have sex, don't be pressured into it.
  • Ladies, if you see the guy is neurvous, GIVE HIM A BREAK. Guys are quickly put at ease when she is willing to touch you. This don't neccessarly mean give him a hand job, but when he shows up, hug him. When you go somewhere, hold his hand. Touch him and he becomes a lot less bumbling, and inept. You'll be suprised how well that works. A hand job works too...
  • Guys, PLEASE try a little harder. Not every girl wants to go to the strip club on the first date. Not every girl loves monster truck rallys, and not every girl likes to watch you bat in the batting cage. SOME DO, don't get me wrong, but try something a little more couple friendly when you start, UNLESS she asks... "Hey you're a musician... will you play something for me?"
  • Always at -least- hug at the end of the date. In fact, a hug says. "Thanks.", a Kiss Says "I had a good time", and a makeout session says. "God I want you to stay (Notice, it dosn't mean I WANT TO FUCK, just I like your company). In fact the onlty thing that says "I wanna have sex with you" is when they say "I wanna have sex with you." Funny how that works. If you walk away from a date without at least a hug, I feel like you've been extreamly rude, and don't expect another date.

Outside these, there really are no rules for dating. It really dosn't matter if it's a completely stranger, or a friend that I've known forever. I've been on dates with girls I had dated years before, and had amazing times with them. I've had dates that were from the moment we got together a precursor to sex.

Enjoy dating... that's what it's there for.

Cix

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SuZQZ Newbie

SuZQZ

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Advice for dating from the Cix Man:

  • ...
  • Guys, PLEASE try a little harder. Not every girl wants to go to the strip club on the first date...

    Correct. That's at least a 3rd or 4th date! :whistle:

    I've done the online thing, mutual acqaintance thing, etc. For me, first dates are always somewhere public and neutral. I drive seperately and meet the guy there. Usually meet somewhere for a drink after work, etc. Royal Oak is handy for me and lots of variety of places. That way we can chat and feel each other out to see if there is mutual interest.

    My own personal rules are to never date someone I work with. I was stupid enough to do this, not once, but twice. Got ugly. As for dating friends, could be a good route. Upside is that you already are familiar with each other, downside is that you could be risking the friendship.

    Lastly, Marc and the others are right. Trust your "instincts" and use your head. Your heart will lie and tell you what you want to hear. If something seems off or not right, do not dismiss it. As for the sex thing. If you are comfortable with the person and hot and ready to go, then why not? It's a personal decision.
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