Dating Tips..

[hunhee]

Okay guys and girls.. I know I've mentioned how I'm sorta thinking about getting into this dating thing..well.. i've honestly really never dated anyone.. being in a relationship for a very large portion of my life.. Give me some pointers.. what to avoid..what to look for.. If being asked out by multiple people what's the protocal? Should I tell them about the others..or should i just keep that under wraps.. (provided this would even happen..hehe)... If I'm serious about someone how many dates should i wait before anything sexual happens.. What if the date is going really bad..should I like make some lame excuse up or just sit it out.. help the helpless here.. If you wanna share horror dating stories..that'd be cool..

NOTE: this is not a please ask me out plea.. that is not what I'm looking for.. I honestly just want to see some opinions and discussions.. and thought it may bring out some really funny anecdotes.. Please share..

[freydis]

Okay guys and girls.. I know I've mentioned how I'm sorta thinking about getting into this dating thing..well.. i've honestly really never dated anyone.. being in a relationship for a very large portion of my life.. Give me some pointers.. what to avoid..what to look for.. If being asked out by multiple people what's the protocal? Should I tell them about the others..or should i just keep that under wraps.. (provided this would even happen..hehe)... If I'm serious about someone how many dates should i wait before anything sexual happens.. What if the date is going really bad..should I like make some lame excuse up or just sit it out.. help the helpless here.. If you wanna share horror dating stories..that'd be cool..

NOTE: this is not a please ask me out plea.. that is not what I'm looking for.. I honestly just want to see some opinions and discussions.. and thought it may bring out some really funny anecdotes.. Please share..

Make the first date coffee or dessert. That way, if it's going badly, it's fairly short. If it's going well, you can go do something else from there.

[freydis]

Make the first date coffee or desert. That way, if it's going badly, it's fairly short. If it's going well, you can go do something else from there.

Oh, and coffee and such is usually in a fairly public area, which is good.

[FarrIL]

Definitely. Coffee and something to munch on. It helps break some ice.

If it goes good, a movie or shop-hopping. If it still goes good, dinner next time. =)

If it goes bad..... the coffee and snack tasted good at least. =3

[hunhee]

What if you are like good friends with them and are just trying out the dating thing? I mean you already know they're not a freak..and stuff..and you already have the conversation thing down.. is it better to be friends first..or should you just date people that you're not all that acquainted with?

[TygerLili]

Honestly, I've never really "dated" anyone. I've just sort of ended up in three relationships. The few dates that I have been on never really went anywhere, and dating seems a little forced to me. It's like there's an expectation of something to happen, and a big disappointment if nothing does. If you like someone, I think it's better to just hang out with them with a group of friends, or in some other situation where there's less pressure to perform.

[BrassFusion]

Date as many people as you want. Hold off on anything sexual as long as you can.

[Msterbeau]

I'll break my keyboard answering this... Maybe I shouldn't?

OK... First and foremost, trust your instincts and what your insides are telling you. I've gone out with people that my insides were telling me "no" and it usually turned out badly. I usually have *really* good intuition. It's taken a long time to get to where I trust what it's telling me. Sometimes we want things that aren't healthy for us. Try to heed the warnings so you don't go there.

I've dated a fair bit since my daughter's mom and I split. I've gotten dates a variety of ways... many from online personals, some through friends or acquaintances... whatever works. What I like about the online method, is that you already have some information about the person. (Assuming they're being truthful - then again... people can lie in real life too... there's no guarantee.) Important things like hobbies, politics, religion, etc are, or should be, there. This works for me. Some people think having all that info spoils the early dating process. That hasn't seemed a problem for me. I VERY rarely date without a photo (or two or three) I've had too many bad experiences with that. Expect to need a decent shot, or two, if you want to try this route. What others were saying about keeping the first date simple and public applies doubly to online dating. Especially for women. Probably best to go to Starbucks or something first time. I've had interesting other first dates, one in particular stands out, but they're not the sort I'd recommend. As for dating within your social circle (And I consider the people I know here one of those) the obvious positive there is that you have mutual friends so there's a level of comfort that the person isn't some crazed stalker and that you've probably got some compatibility issues out of the way automagically. You also have people who can provide feedback while you date to see if something your feeling about the person is just you or is a "known" issue.

As long as your open and honest about it, I think dating multiple people at one time is fine. If they get all upset about it... that tells you something, doesn't it? You may try it and decide you don't like the juggling required. If not, date one person at a time. When you decide you'd like to be exclusive, that's something you both need to agree on.

Sex... You're a grown girl. Do what feels right. If you think waiting makes sense.. do it. If you want to jump the guy... do it. I'll just say that the two most significant relationships in my life we slept together on the first date. On the other hand, both of those eventually failed...

That's all for now. I'll chime in more as others post...

[Guest Megalicious]

Rule 1: There is no such thing as true love. Pounded into our brains from birth through disney movies. There is love with mutual respect , caring, loving, but NO such thing as this true love that shall conquer all. RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD WORK, the lie of true love implies that you can just fall in love and overcome anything. As romantic as this my seem, its just a bold face lie. If you believe that your relationship can overcome anything just because you "love" this person, it's unrealistic and 9 times out of 10 it won't work out.

Rule 2: The weirdo in the corner: Don't rule ppl out just because they don't look like "your" type. It obvious that "your" type doesn't work anyway, otherwise you wouldn't be single now, would you?

Rule 3: Give it to me good =): I totally agree with JD here, sex is so very important to a meaningful and heathly relationship. How can I possibly see an future with you if you don't care enough to please me...??

Rule 4: I HAVE CALLER ID: Never call more than once unless the person calls you back, Desperation make me (and a large chunk of the population) cringe.

Rule 5: Are you looking at her ass!: No matter what girls tell you, IT ALWAYS BOTHERS US ... (even if it just a small bit) when we find you checking out another girl ..... if you are going to do it PLEASE wait until we are not around ... Thank you.

Rule 6 : Do Unto others: Don't get me wrong here. I'm not jumping up on a soap box and trying to preach of altruistic ways. I don't want you to give back to ppl because you feel it necessary to validate that you are indeed a good person, I want you to give back/donate/ take a homeless guy out to lunch/ buy a beer for to a bum/ help that person when they drop their purse/ ect. ect BECAUSE YOU WANT TOO AND YOU BELIEVE IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO! I believe in doing what I can for ppl. Don't get me wrong I can be selfish as all hell!! I LOVE MYSELF!! =) But giving back/helping out makes me feel good and I hope it does the same for you .. other wise get to stepping !!!!!

And the last and most important rule....

Rule 7: Don't you love me the most? : NO I DON'T I LOVE MY SON THE MOST, THEN MYSELF (your lucky if you even get 3rd place in my heart!) !! I'm not here to inflate your ego, no matter what you do you will never be #1 to me .. ever, if you can't handle that ... sorry, bye bye!

speaking of my son .. isn't he so cute!!! ( I had to after the comment made about brats!) Is he a brat? Yes, but he is my brat and I'll gloat over him anytime I chose. Why? Because I love him and I can ..... plus he is super cute .. that helps.

Dating rules posted a while ago in a simular thread.

[Msterbeau]

Dating rules posted a while ago in a simular thread.

Meg rules. That is all...

[Fierce Critter]

Be suspicious if the guy is too pushy about you drinking something.

<-- been slipped a mickey and it's not fun.

[Onyx]

Meg, that is excellent advice and a healthy way to be.

It's actually a huge red flag when a parent would put someone they are in a relationship with as #1. Children have to come first, period, and if someone can not understand that, they should not be choosing a partner who has children to care for and they shouldn't consider having any themselves.

Also, it's a red flag when someone would neglect themselves (such as buying a date expensive gifts they can in no way afford). A person who doesn't take care of themselves first (in all areas) will quickly become so empty and drained they have nothing at all to give to a relationship.

[CatsEyeOfTheWiccan]

The Good:

Have nice time on a no pressure date at a coffee house, some place you get to know eachother better, with not alot shouting to here one another.

The Bad:

How to end a bad date is just a date and dosen't mean you need give the date a second chance.

Unless something comples you do so.

Sex and Dateing:

If ready goto the next level so be it..if not than don't have sex in it.

-CatsEye

[saechalyn]

What if you are like good friends with them and are just trying out the dating thing? I mean you already know they're not a freak..and stuff..and you already have the conversation thing down.. is it better to be friends first..or should you just date people that you're not all that acquainted with?

Friends first is pretty much a must for me. Going on a date with a total stranger is not at all appealing to me. As Tygerlili said, it feels forced. I am much more comfortable getting to know people as friends and letting things develop naturally on their own if the chemistry is there. I can't say "yes it's better to be friends first" but only that it's better for ME, because I just seem to be wired that way.

[sass_in_the_pants]

Okay guys and girls.. I know I've mentioned how I'm sorta thinking about getting into this dating thing..well.. i've honestly really never dated anyone.. being in a relationship for a very large portion of my life.. Give me some pointers.. what to avoid..what to look for.. If being asked out by multiple people what's the protocal? Should I tell them about the others..or should i just keep that under wraps.. (provided this would even happen..hehe)... If I'm serious about someone how many dates should i wait before anything sexual happens.. What if the date is going really bad..should I like make some lame excuse up or just sit it out.. help the helpless here.. If you wanna share horror dating stories..that'd be cool..

NOTE: this is not a please ask me out plea.. that is not what I'm looking for.. I honestly just want to see some opinions and discussions.. and thought it may bring out some really funny anecdotes.. Please share..

The protocol for being asked out by several gentlemen is not to schedule all those dates at the same time. You would also make for better company if you refrain from spending an evening with one man telling him all about another. In other words, as long as these relationships are in their infancy, and there is no illusion of exclusivity, date all the men you'd like. Once the relationship turns intimate, however, there is an implication of exclusivity.

If the date is going really badly...the advice from the others on planning a brief date is excellent advice. It certainly adds to the thrill if the date's over, but both parties keep pushing to stay on. It's far less thrilling for a young man to discover that his date who went home 'sick' is now throwing one back at the same bar he's decided to drown his sorrows. In other words, plan for a short date, and if the date is going badly, stay on for an obligatory hour or so and then you can go on about how you really must be going (no need to tell him you are going to spend time with people you like more). I say you have to stay on a bad date for two reasons - 1. you sound like a very nice and decent person and nice and decent people don't hurt strangers and 2. Though you may have sized him up and found that he had fallen short of your hopes and expectations, he may still be sizing you up, and not in a way that you might think. My friend Tim went on a date with a woman named Monica. It was quite apparent to Tim that Monica and him were not right for eachother at all. He stayed on anyway, and made the most of the date. The following day, Monica called Tim. She also was certain they were not right for eachother. However, she couldn't help but think he was really quite right for her friend Mary. She gave Tim Mary's email. So, Tim and Mary emailed back and forth for a few weeks before going on a date. And Tim said 'If she is half as easy to talk to in real life as she is on email, then she's perfect'. It turns out she was even better in real life. They will be celebrating their third wedding anniversary this year.

Oh yeah, and have fun. No one wants the date who just bitches and moans. Save the bitching and moaning for once you're married

[Homicidalheathen]

OK... First and foremost, trust your instincts and what your insides are telling you. I've gone out with people that my insides were telling me "no" and it usually turned out badly. I usually have *really* good intuition. It's taken a long time to get to where I trust what it's telling me. Sometimes we want things that aren't healthy for us. Try to heed the warnings so you don't go there.

Ditto this. I ignored my gut last year and regret it to this day.

And dont have sex the first night. Or the second night. Or 3rd.

[Homicidalheathen]

Oh and beware someone who comes on too strong too soon. If he says he loves you the first night he is

1 lying

2 nuts

3 trying to scam you. Period.

No one falls that fast that is normal and/or honest.

[Daevion]

All this is way too complicated......drink wine and talk....with a view! I have no rulebook I go where the chaos takes me!!

[hunhee]

Dating rules posted a while ago in a simular thread.

I appologize for that then, I looked for dating rules and stuff in the old posts, but couldn't find it, so I decided to start my own. Good advice thanks..

[Troy Spiral (13)]

A good tip would be :

When someone asks you "Whats your sign?" don't reply, "FUCKING CHRIST YOU DON'T BELIVE IN THAT SHIT DO YOU????"

Usually kinda is off-putting. Hehe.

[Daevion]

A good tip would be :

When someone asks you "Whats your sign?" don't reply, "FUCKING CHRIST YOU DON'T BELIVE IN THAT SHIT DO YOU????"

Usually kinda is off-putting. Hehe.

damn! you took the steam out of my preferred pick up line.....so now what shall I say?! grrrr

[Msterbeau]

damn! you took the steam out of my preferred pick up line.....so now what shall I say?! grrrr

"How YOU doin??"

:-)

[odims_sphere]

the only dating tip I have is never date me, I'll ruin your life... seems to be my pattern

[hunhee]

A good tip would be :

When someone asks you "Whats your sign?" don't reply, "FUCKING CHRIST YOU DON'T BELIVE IN THAT SHIT DO YOU????"

Usually kinda is off-putting. Hehe.

CRAP! I didn't mean to say that to you Troy :o

[Daevion]

"How YOU doin??"

:-)

thats the first part....it goes like this: "How YOU doing?"......." So, ah, whats your sign?" ....never fails.