Sorry Guys....

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

sorry I havent been on lately, havent been feeling that well lately and I always hate venting on here - cos I feel like all I do is bitch, but I need to know if I am over reacting....

Yesterday was a shitty day. I finally made it to my Catholic Social Services meeting (after missing it twice) and they accidently put me down for 430 instead of 330 and I couldnt stay otherwise I'd miss group (for the 2nd time) - but now I dont have to go tomorrow for my lvl 2 group so now I dont have to pay for a taxi and I dont have to pay for the class until next week - so it helped a bit.

Then all during group I was sick to my stomach. I'm pretty fucking positive that I'm not pregnant 'cos I took 2 tests and they both came back negative, but u never know... but I still keep getting nausea and what not - maybe I have a mild case of the flu or something.

I get home at 745, and at this point I had been gone for 5 hours. Jon sits with me for about 15 minutes and then goes and plays Quake for 2 hours instead of spending time with me. Keep in mind that he has to leave at 10pm to leave for a week long trip where he will be spending alot of time with his wife. He had 5 fucking hours to play Quake and WoW! I'm willing to bet that the second I fucking left the house he jerked off and took a fucking nap.

Nice to know that I'm 2nd best to his fucking computer which gets more action than I do btw... There are some days that he makes me feel so important and some days where he makes me feel so worthless... I have 50 million emtions and feelings going through me... I dont think that Jon even realizes that I'm mad at him... prolly doesnt much care right now either... idk... I just feel so empty right now...

[Msterbeau]

sorry I havent been on lately, havent been feeling that well lately and I always hate venting on here - cos I feel like all I do is bitch, but I need to know if I am over reacting....

Yesterday was a shitty day. I finally made it to my Catholic Social Services meeting (after missing it twice) and they accidently put me down for 430 instead of 330 and I couldnt stay otherwise I'd miss group (for the 2nd time) - but now I dont have to go tomorrow for my lvl 2 group so now I dont have to pay for a taxi and I dont have to pay for the class until next week - so it helped a bit.

Then all during group I was sick to my stomach. I'm pretty fucking positive that I'm not pregnant 'cos I took 2 tests and they both came back negative, but u never know... but I still keep getting nausea and what not - maybe I have a mild case of the flu or something.

I get home at 745, and at this point I had been gone for 5 hours. Jon sits with me for about 15 minutes and then goes and plays Quake for 2 hours instead of spending time with me. Keep in mind that he has to leave at 10pm to leave for a week long trip where he will be spending alot of time with his wife. He had 5 fucking hours to play Quake and WoW! I'm willing to bet that the second I fucking left the house he jerked off and took a fucking nap.

Nice to know that I'm 2nd best to his fucking computer which gets more action than I do btw... There are some days that he makes me feel so important and some days where he makes me feel so worthless... I have 50 million emtions and feelings going through me... I dont think that Jon even realizes that I'm mad at him... prolly doesnt much care right now either... idk... I just feel so empty right now...

1. Tell him how ya feel. Nicely... but so he gets the point.

2.

[Reaper]

I've had days like that when I didn't want to talk to anyone and decided to play Quake 2 to keep my mind busy. I don't know what his deal is, but for me, its that I am bored and want to take some aggression out on something else.

[Daevion]

WoW, maybe quake 2 IS better than sex

[Brenda Starrr]

Ohhhhhhhhh, I used to go through that myself.

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

just sux 'cos it was the last 2 hours that I was hoping to spend together cos I was gone all day and he was leaving for a week - idk... maybe Quake is better than sex... who knows - and it wasnt so much the sex part cos I wasnt feel well and wasnt much in the mood.... LOL - just that he was going to leave me for a week... just hurt is all

[saechalyn]

That sucks.

I'd say if it's an isolated incident or once in a while thing, it's not a big deal. But as an ongoing pattern...oh HELL no.

[creatureofthenyte]

That sucks.

I'd say if it's an isolated incident or once in a while thing, it's not a big deal. But as an ongoing pattern...oh HELL no.

Indeed, talk calmly first, if it IS an ongoing pattern, boot him the fuck out of your life asap!

Why put up with bullshit if you DON'T Have to ???

I hope things get better for you.

[Onyx]

Jon sits with me for about 15 minutes and then goes and plays Quake for 2 hours instead of spending time with me. Keep in mind that he has to leave at 10pm to leave for a week long trip where he will be spending alot of time with his wife.

He's spending a week with his wife?

(maybe I shouldn't ask, but how did you get yourself into this situation)?

[Reaper]

He's spending a week with his wife?

(maybe I shouldn't ask, but how did you get yourself into this situation)?

I believe they are separated and in the process of divorce? Most likely scenario from what it appears.

[Daevion]

He's spending a week with his wife?

(maybe I shouldn't ask, but how did you get yourself into this situation)?

I had to re-read the post myself......

[Guest Megalicious]

WoW, maybe quake 2 IS better than sex

::smacks sense into Jason::

Relationships are about compromise. If it is something he enjoys of course he wants to play, and you said he makes you feel important "sometimes", atleast he shows you he cares at all.

I guess my point is from the fact your brought to the board I'd say you were just having a bad day, you came home wanting affection to take that off your mind, which he didn't provide. (which men are known to do from time to time). You know you are not second best to a machine, I believe it was something you have expressed due to being angry.

I get the impression that this is an on going thing, you need to sit down and talk to him about, nicely (as marc has said) without attacking him, because the only thing he is going to do is clam up and get deffensive and that will get you nowhere.

If you want I have a buch of tips on how to go about talking thing over in a non-attacking. deffensive way. I went through all these DBT classes and I must say alot of it works. Let me know, and I hope you feel better. It always feels so sad to feel so empty.

[Daevion]

::smacks sense into Jason::

awww......your so cute when your smacking sense.

[Onyx]

I believe they are separated and in the process of divorce? Most likely scenario from what it appears.

Hmm. Separated eh? Doesn't sound like it. (but I'm just going from what was posted here, may not be the situation at all)

When I was in the process of a divorce, spending a week with my soon-to-be-ex husband was the LAST place I would choose to spend my time.

[know_buddy_kares]

yeah i'd kinda have to agree, the whole married thing is bad news, even though they are set up for a divorce.... it's generally a no winner. Anyway, I'd say more, I wish you the best of luck either way. But I gotta call it a night for now.

[Onyx]

If you want I have a buch of tips on how to go about talking thing over in a non-attacking. deffensive way. I went through all these DBT classes and I must say alot of it works. Let me know, and I hope you feel better. It always feels so sad to feel so empty.

If you feel like posting those tips sometime (maybe in a new thread) I'd love to read them. Probably everyone needs help with starting discussions like that.

I hate how things sometimes degenerate into a fight and nothing gets solved, even if you never meant it to be a fight.

[Homicidalheathen]

As a wise man (Cix) once said, its about control, not love.

There is a good article in cosmo about it this month. (me and my cosmo......its the bible ya know.)

Maybe he doesn't control when you go out but if he is withholding emotions....sex......time spent together....he is controlling your feelings.

I had to come to terms with the fact I attract men like my father in many ways recently be they physically abusive or mentally/emotionally.

I did this.

I put down on a list on one side the positive traits of all the major relationships with men in my life. On the other the neg.

I found not only did I go for guys who had some major bad (and good) things in common with good ol dad, and you know how that was gurl......

that I pick men who have allot of the same bad and good traits in common.....

And that the neg outnumbered the bad in the same, and many ways.....

Not that its helping much yet but it pointing something out that maybe I need to change within myself.

You know, seeking this out.....this pattern.......repeating it is not going to fix anything.

If that makes sense.

[Shade Everdark]

This is all too much work. Just kill him, it's easier.

[CatsEyeOfTheWiccan]

I worry.. about you..

[Draco1958]

sorry I havent been on lately, havent been feeling that well lately and I always hate venting on here - cos I feel like all I do is bitch, but I need to know if I am over reacting....

Yesterday was a shitty day. I finally made it to my Catholic Social Services meeting (after missing it twice) and they accidently put me down for 430 instead of 330 and I couldnt stay otherwise I'd miss group (for the 2nd time) - but now I dont have to go tomorrow for my lvl 2 group so now I dont have to pay for a taxi and I dont have to pay for the class until next week - so it helped a bit.

Then all during group I was sick to my stomach. I'm pretty fucking positive that I'm not pregnant 'cos I took 2 tests and they both came back negative, but u never know... but I still keep getting nausea and what not - maybe I have a mild case of the flu or something.

I get home at 745, and at this point I had been gone for 5 hours. Jon sits with me for about 15 minutes and then goes and plays Quake for 2 hours instead of spending time with me. Keep in mind that he has to leave at 10pm to leave for a week long trip where he will be spending alot of time with his wife. He had 5 fucking hours to play Quake and WoW! I'm willing to bet that the second I fucking left the house he jerked off and took a fucking nap.

Nice to know that I'm 2nd best to his fucking computer which gets more action than I do btw... There are some days that he makes me feel so important and some days where he makes me feel so worthless... I have 50 million emtions and feelings going through me... I dont think that Jon even realizes that I'm mad at him... prolly doesnt much care right now either... idk... I just feel so empty right now...

Believe me I know how you feel. Went thru that when I was married. Always seemed that her friends came first among other things so I was somewhere toward the bottom of the list. Have a good shoulder if you ever need to borrow one.

[pomba gira]

I agree with Megalicious. It sounds like this is a semi-ongoing thing that was exacerbated by your having a bad day. You said yourself that he probably doesn't even know you were angry. Maybe he figured since you weren't feeling well/in a bad mood, he'd just leave you alone. Picking up on "I need affection/emotional support" cues is not something most men are good at... they can certainly learn, but you have to teach them. Which is where being able to discuss things in a non-confrontational way comes in.... using "I" instead of "you" statements, choosing a neutral time & place for the discussion, sticking to the immediate issue... these are things that really do work. Nowadays we're teaching kids basic conflict resolution skills in grade school, but us grown folks have to pick it up on our own. Anyway, it sounds to me like a discussion is definitely in order... he won't know your feelings unless you make them clear.

Good luck sweetie... things will get better!

[jadnifer]

I hope that everything gets better for you.

I have been in a similar situation where he was more interested in video games and tv than he was in me. The only difference was that he wasnt married.

*sends positive vibes your way*

BTW...dont worry about complaining about things we are here to listen to you.