Kinda Stupid, But I Guess It Needs To Be Said

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

Whatever happened to basic internet etiquette? I mean really. I post my AIM name, as well as other contact details so that I can have an intelligent conversation with whoever so chooses to contact me. If someone contacts me that I'd rather not speak to for whatever reason, I find a polite reason to tell them so rather than ignore them and make them feel like shit. I realize that most of the people that come to the club or the forums for that matter don't have the greatest self-esteem anyways. I try to be nice to people and compliment their pictures or what have you, and make them feel better about themselves. At any rate, I guess I just kinda feel put off when I say hi to someone, and when I tell them who I am, they just ignore me yet chat up until that point.

While, I'm not the kinda guy that's going to get hurt feelings over such a thing, I'd just like to point out that a lot of men and women on here are pretty sensitive and I find it a bit unfair to not consider other people's feelings whatsoever just for saying hi. This is not directed at anybody, because it has happened several times, and in my case if you'd rather no talk to me, I'd kinda prefer you say go away asshole or whatever. I'd rather you not say that to anyone else on this board, but I can take it. Whether you choose to or not, I'll probably just think you're an idiot anyways for not wanting to talk to me, if for no better reason than just being an ignorant snob who completely lost the respect of one of the few decent people left in this world.

I guess the only thing that bugs me, is I feel like it's completely unnecessary to be rude to people. I'm a nice guy, and if I've ever wronged anybody I've been the first to apologize. I like making new friends and being social. Perhaps, I'm overreacting to a few very isolated incidences I've encountered on here, and perhaps it's just my age and the fact that I'm from a different generation of chatters than a lot of people, when people actually did have respect for one another

Whatever the case, please at least respect other people's feelings on here. I don't really care if you're having a bad day and think someone's an asshole anyways. If you have never met this person or are just here to "hookup" and don't give two fucks about anything else but what you want and your opinions, at least have some common courtesy?

Just my opinion. If you don't like it, tough shit because it probably has applied to you at one time. Just remember, you're not so much different from the rest of us, and we all have feelings. Except me of course.

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

I can relate to you full heartedly. I get the same thing, the immature, childish action of just being ignored. I'm a big boy, I can handle the truth, if you don't like me or want to talk to me, just say it! If you're concerned about hurting my feelings and you don't want to tell me because it's too hard to do, what do you think the person you're ignoring is going through? What do they think?

It really disgusts me when people stopped talking to me when they found out I'm in a wheelchair. (Hence why I announce that right away on my myspace) I've had people just ignore me and not answer my calls after they meet me in person.

My advice? Brace yourself for them ignoring you when you start talking. Brace yourself for the fact they will never talk to you again after you meet. That way if they do end up ignoring you you would be prepared for it and you can brush it off your shoulder like nothing. But if they surprise you by sticking around, then they're worth you effort and time. That's what I do.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

It used to irritate the hell out of me , but eventually i think i went to some zen place and realized it was just a fact that people don't act "normal" on the Internet and act even worse in chat rooms / IMs. I felt exactly this same way in my early years of using AIM/ICQ/ IRC then later Yahoo/MSN. Not that this excuses the behavior , not at all, but i just know going into it that its going to happen.

Especially in CHAT (as opposed to forums) the nature of the technology encourages rudeness and lack of basic social etiquette. Its frustrating. I tend to stay off IM for productivity reasons, but this is a lesser reason (just one of many) why I'm not a huge fan of "large network" Internet chat. The only reason i use IM now is if there is some time-sensitive thing that needs to be discussed with someone who i don't normally talk on the phone with. Otherwise i just use email / PMs or the board if its appropriate conversation for a larger audience.

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

Yeah, this is often why I use IRC. A little less user friendly, seems to make a big difference when seeking intelligent conversation and maturity. Not that IRC is not user friendly, but moreso that most people are a bit clueless as to what it is. I can't say that I'm surprised at all, just a bit disappointed that I have to see it here of all places. I don't really let it bother me, but I know how it feels and damn if I haven't had plenty of people in the club be rude to me for just saying hello. I usually just shrug it off if it's a girl since they probably think I'm just another asshole of the many that have already bothered them that night. I've been rude to a few girls though who approached me looking for free drinks or thinking I should talk to them just because they're attractive. Beauty is skin deep and unfortunately City Club is getting uglier every year. If it weren't for people like you guys and the few other people there that I think are pretty cool, I wouldn't even bother going.

[know_buddy_kares]

Honestly, I'm blunt to everyone about my honest opinions. I don't try to "be nice" as some just never get the hint. And I'm not going to put myself through discomfort or in an akward situation merely to spare another's feelings.

Also, if I get ignored, as in, they stop returning messages, I take em off my list and forget about em.

[Crazed Vampyress]

I dont know who all your message applies to, but just some thought to chew on...

i have found, and this is just my experience, that while most guys are great at being blunt and can take it when you say 'fuck off' a lot of girls get more offended. i think its looked at as more feminine or something to take things personally. so if some of those un-responded-to messages of your were to women, they might ignore it because from their point of view no answer is better than a rude answer.

This is why my friends are male. A guy you can punch in the face, and you're still friends the next night. Try punching a girl in the face and then asking her to go to the bar with you the next night, 9 times outta 10 you'll be drinking alone.

this is not all women, just the annoying ones my friends seem to know. but it is an occurrence to possibly take into consideration. Personally, Im with you. tell me 'i dont feel like talking to you' or 'fuck off' or 'i'm busy', whatever- aint gonna hurt my feelings none.

[BrassFusion]

If it really bothers you to be ignored by people who don't want to talk to you anyway- maybe you're the oversensitive one. Their loss, right?

[Msterbeau]

If it really bothers you to be ignored by people who don't want to talk to you anyway- maybe you're the oversensitive one. Their loss, right?

I get your point, but why have people become so rude in the first place? I'm getting sick of people saying you can't change people... ignore them... don't be so sensitive.. yada yada... Fuck it. I AM sensitive (And clearly Kevin is too) and people should learn a basic level of respect for others. How fucking difficult is it to say "I'm not interested in speaking" or "Sorry, I'm busy." ??? Between the anonymity of the internet that kids are growing used too and shit parenting with regard to communication skills... it's no wonder there are so many rude people. No... I can't change them... but it doesn't make their behavior right, nor does it mean we have to be OK with it.

[BrassFusion]

I get your point, but why have people become so rude in the first place? I'm getting sick of people saying you can't change people... ignore them... don't be so sensitive.. yada yada... Fuck it. I AM sensitive (And clearly Kevin is too) and people should learn a basic level of respect for others. How fucking difficult is it to say "I'm not interested in speaking" or "Sorry, I'm busy." ??? Between the anonymity of the internet that kids are growing used too and shit parenting with regard to communication skills... it's no wonder there are so many rude people. No... I can't change them... but it doesn't make their behavior right, nor does it mean we have to be OK with it.

well. i don't believe that their behavior is "correct," either, and i generally don't practice it myself... it takes doing something incredibly hurtful and inconsiderate to get on my "do not fly" list, which of course isn't permanent.

i don't know that i agree that people are ruder overall than they used to be.

and in the spirit of happiness and all, maybe it's best to believe that you can't change the people who treat you like that (because often you can't), and it's their loss for not talking to you. in kevin's case, it probably IS their loss, anyway.

[jadnifer]

People are just overly rude...Ive gotten to the point where it just doesnt matter to me anymore...I give people the common courtesy to talk to them...and if I dont want to I tell them. I can be sensitive but not overly. Oh well, if the person doesnt want to talk to you...they werent worth the time and energy in the first place.

[Msterbeau]

well. i don't believe that their behavior is "correct," either, and i generally don't practice it myself... it takes doing something incredibly hurtful and inconsiderate to get on my "do not fly" list, which of course isn't permanent.

i don't know that i agree that people are ruder overall than they used to be.

and in the spirit of happiness and all, maybe it's best to believe that you can't change the people who treat you like that (because often you can't), and it's their loss for not talking to you. in kevin's case, it probably IS their loss, anyway.

I've been alive almost 20 years longer then you... People ARE getting ruder and more inconsiderate.

[jadnifer]

I've been alive almost 20 years longer then you... People ARE getting ruder and more inconsiderate.

You've noticed that TOO???

[Sybil]

:(

I am very sensitive too.

I over think things quite often when it comes to "how to say things carefully so no one gets hurt"

(when I am sick I stay home. and when I am in a very sore kind of bad mood I stay home too.. so as NOT to infect my friends or anyone else for that matter.)

I have had MANY crap experiences with rude people.. online and in Bars. Not goth bars so much as hole in the wall neighborhood bars.. (Paul and I both think its crazy. City Club = Politeness VS. Pubs/Corner Watering Hole = RUDENESS)

...and on occasion I have been rude as well..

(my rudeness was "on the road" alot.. ya know.. drive by finger givin..)

So here I am at 30(almost) and I am really frustrated too with the way we treat one another. It makes me sad to see hurting people hurting other people without caring enough to recognize it and apologize.

We cant be happy acting like this.

The world is filling up with youth that thinks its okay to wipe their feet on each other.

I am fed up too.

:(

Group hug????????

[jadnifer]

Im ALL for that!!

[Fierce Critter]

I'm going to ditto Crayzed Vampyress.

And add - the ones I don't get are the ones who continue to try to interact with me when I have tried to tell them politely but firmly, "I don't get along with you, please respect my wishes and give me space as I will give you the same courtesy."

Someone please explain to me the psychology behind these types? The type who just can't deal with the fact that someone in the world doesn't mesh with them for whatever reason, and do their damndest to force some kind of response?

I start off really polite with these types. Maybe I do do the ignore thing - to me, it's not as polite to come right out off the bat and say "FUCK OFF." If the hint isn't taken, I'll come out polite but firm with a "I don't really enjoy interacting with you, I'll just leave you alone and you do the same for me, o.k.?"

It's when some of these get freaking obsessive about giving me their unsolicited input, or try to talk to me in person, or knowing my preference of space but insist on insinuating themselves into my life that I will eventually reach "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!"

I hate it coming to that. That's when I get accused of being the psycho, the one "holding a grudge," the drama queen.

Fuck. All I'm trying to do is avoid drama. I'm not "holding a grudge." Far from it. I've just realized that my life doesn't benefit from a particular relationship, and rather than let it remain an irritant - I just let it go.

I don't get psycho unless the other party themselves won't let go.

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

I'm going to ditto Crayzed Vampyress.

And add - the ones I don't get are the ones who continue to try to interact with me when I have tried to tell them politely but firmly, "I don't get along with you, please respect my wishes and give me space as I will give you the same courtesy."

Someone please explain to me the psychology behind these types? The type who just can't deal with the fact that someone in the world doesn't mesh with them for whatever reason, and do their damndest to force some kind of response?

I start off really polite with these types. Maybe I do do the ignore thing - to me, it's not as polite to come right out off the bat and say "FUCK OFF." If the hint isn't taken, I'll come out polite but firm with a "I don't really enjoy interacting with you, I'll just leave you alone and you do the same for me, o.k.?"

It's when some of these get freaking obsessive about giving me their unsolicited input, or try to talk to me in person, or knowing my preference of space but insist on insinuating themselves into my life that I will eventually reach "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!"

I hate it coming to that. That's when I get accused of being the psycho, the one "holding a grudge," the drama queen.

Fuck. All I'm trying to do is avoid drama. I'm not "holding a grudge." Far from it. I've just realized that my life doesn't benefit from a particular relationship, and rather than let it remain an irritant - I just let it go.

I don't get psycho unless the other party themselves won't let go.

Yeah, but that's some ridiculous crazy shit there. That's also what a block button is for. Ignoring someone for saying hello to you, and blocking a psychopath are two very separate things.

[Homicidalheathen]

I am usually waaay to nice and give up too much of my time.

It is different for women I think. Just saying hi, not interested gets the stalkers thinking its ok to make up like 12 bogus profiles to keep bugging you with over a 2yr period (this has happened to me)

Some people see polite rejection as a maybe.

[Kit Kat P]

I agree w/ all said above. But I would also like to add that you don't know what's on the other side. I currently have a computer at home that locks up alot. People think I'm ignoring them or walking away in the middle of the conversation. Nope, my computer doesn't want to play or is putting me on a time out.

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

Lets go with an example here:

Person A: Hello, how are you?

Person B: Not bad. How are you? Who is this?

Person B: This is Xena btw.

Person A: Kevin from DGN, or crunchy_pickle on there.

Person B: Oh lol.

Time passes.....

Person A: Did you have a good weekend or make it to the club?

Person B: *signs out*

time passes.

Person B: *signs in*

Person B: *signs out*

So person A says fuck it no big deal, and then comes to find that person B actually took the time to view their profile but not the time to say fuck you, you're an asshat, or good night. So person A can only assume that person B is just some ignorant, rude prick/cunt.

So yeah, you're like way off topic here FC. You're talking about some obsessive sick fuck that won't leave you alone, and I'm talking about blatant disregard for other people period.

[Homicidalheathen]

The in and out is prob her computer on the fritz.

My comcast does that sometimes for 3 days in a row.

Or she is a selfish arrogant asshole so who cares. Her loss.

[Shade Everdark]

I don't wish to defend those who act rudely (and I must confess to engaging in this particular brand of rudeness, from time to time), but there is a third possibility. A lesser possibility, to be sure, but a possibility nonetheless.

There could be work or other time-sensitive considerations that the other person has to deal with. In my case, I often have to get up immediately to take care of some minor problem or other, and I'm often gone for minutes at a time, without having even the time to type 'brb'. Sometimes, there just isn't time for proper etiquette, much as one might like to use it.

[Homicidalheathen]

Thats true. A few months ago someone left for a minute to smoke a cig and when he came back I was in the bathroom. Well, it was morning. So, anyway.....I come back to a bunch of ranting.....

WHERE ARE YOU ARE YOU IGNORING ME WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO

BUZZ

BUZZ!!

(about 50 more buzzes)

(and more of these things !!!!) oh yah exclamaintion points, my fav.

Guy kinda scared me so I avoid him a bit now.

[creatureofthenyte]

Whatever happened to basic internet etiquette? I mean really. I post my AIM name, as well as other contact details so that I can have an intelligent conversation with whoever so chooses to contact me. If someone contacts me that I'd rather not speak to for whatever reason, I find a polite reason to tell them so rather than ignore them and make them feel like shit. I realize that most of the people that come to the club or the forums for that matter don't have the greatest self-esteem anyways. I try to be nice to people and compliment their pictures or what have you, and make them feel better about themselves. At any rate, I guess I just kinda feel put off when I say hi to someone, and when I tell them who I am, they just ignore me yet chat up until that point.

While, I'm not the kinda guy that's going to get hurt feelings over such a thing, I'd just like to point out that a lot of men and women on here are pretty sensitive and I find it a bit unfair to not consider other people's feelings whatsoever just for saying hi. This is not directed at anybody, because it has happened several times, and in my case if you'd rather no talk to me, I'd kinda prefer you say go away asshole or whatever. I'd rather you not say that to anyone else on this board, but I can take it. Whether you choose to or not, I'll probably just think you're an idiot anyways for not wanting to talk to me, if for no better reason than just being an ignorant snob who completely lost the respect of one of the few decent people left in this world.

I guess the only thing that bugs me, is I feel like it's completely unnecessary to be rude to people. I'm a nice guy, and if I've ever wronged anybody I've been the first to apologize. I like making new friends and being social. Perhaps, I'm overreacting to a few very isolated incidences I've encountered on here, and perhaps it's just my age and the fact that I'm from a different generation of chatters than a lot of people, when people actually did have respect for one another

Whatever the case, please at least respect other people's feelings on here. I don't really care if you're having a bad day and think someone's an asshole anyways. If you have never met this person or are just here to "hookup" and don't give two fucks about anything else but what you want and your opinions, at least have some common courtesy?

Just my opinion. If you don't like it, tough shit because it probably has applied to you at one time. Just remember, you're not so much different from the rest of us, and we all have feelings. Except me of course.

I hear ya on that also dude.

I think it just has to do with the fact that a growing number of people have adopted the "its all about me" mentality.

I deal with similar stuff every day at work. I say hi to people I see every day. Sometimes I get a hello back and sometimes they just keep their eyes straightforward and don't even acknowledge my presence.

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, don't let the douchebags of the world jade you.

Some of us still appreciate stuff like that...

[crunchy_pickle (5)]

Well, just so everyone know, this was a hypothetical conversation strewn together from many different sources. The conversation that sparked the topic could very well have had nothing to do with anything. My main point was to show an example of something I've experienced a few times, and point out that in life I think it's important to consider other people's feelings. When I was a teenager despite a lot of issues and depression, I tried to make it a point to say hello to anyone and everyone I walked by even if I got no response back. I'd like to think that maybe I'd made a stranger feel a little better about their shitty day at one point, and maybe if for a brief moment they didn't feel so alone and miserable in this world.