Do You Have A Calling?

[sass_in_the_pants]

In my mind, there are careers, and there are callings.

I have what would be called a career. I work in accounting and finance. Do I get any deep sense of fullfillment when my debits and credits match? Not really, but I enjoy my work as much as I could expect to.

My husband on the other hand, has it. He has a calling. And it's science. He'll be done with his PhD (or, as I like to call it, the 24th grade) in December. After that, it's probably on to post-doctoral work. And he's frustrated. Here he has shoved 12 years of higher education into his brain and he is looking at being a post-doc which pays an abysmal 35K a year.

Not good.

He says things like 'I should just quit and go work at McDonald's because I'd make more money' and though his math is correct, that line of thinking is dead wrong. He could leave science and look for better paying work, and he might even find it. But he would only be more miserable. He wouldn't be frustrated about the pay anymore, but he would be frustrated about everything else because he would be in a place that he has no business being in. This science thing is hard-wired into him and he can pretend he chose this career, but I know better. He couldn't choose this anymore than he could choose his gender or his national origin.

This is what he was BORN to do. If he doesn't do it, if he throws away this gift for some stupid 401K plan and some extra coin, then he will have WASTED it. Wasted a gift that most people on this planet will never ever have. And if there is anything that makes financial people such as myself grit their teeth, it's waste.

It's the impending birth of the twins thats really gotten him worried lately. The financial burden of two babies is pretty heavy, and that worries him, but I try to remind him that kids require more than food on the table and a roof over their head. I can calculate the NPV of a project, do an actual to forecast analysis, develop a budget, but Guy can explain to you how life works. Yeah, who would YOU rather spend your evenings with?

Some people are fortunate and they're calling is like, fund manager, and those people are billionaires and named Warren Buffet. Most of us have far less profitable callings. And they don't have to be job-related, either. Some people are called to be mothers and fathers. Some people are called to be serve in some way, be it through the military or volunteer service.

So, tell me, what's your calling?

By the way, Guy says mine is writing. I disagree, though I am an awfully good speller.

[Fierce Critter]

I might hazard to disagree with you. I think you're an incredible writer. And I say that with some amount of envy, because at one time, I thought I was destined to be a writer.

But if, like me, being good at something doesn't necessarily equal loving that thing, then I can understand. I liked writing, even had a certain amount of talent, and everybody around me - including my father who isn't known for being particularly complimentary - was sure I should do that for a living.

But I wasn't feeling it. Lyrics? Yes. Books, articles, poetry? Not so much.

If not writing, what do you think your calling might be?

And I can totally relate to your situation with your husband. My own husband is a bit of an under-achiever. He can get scared with challenges at work, and tends toward wanting to take the easy way out - go to a less challenging job. But lately, he's been having realizations that that ain't such a fulfilling path to take through life. He's hanging in there, and actually learning new and valuable skills that he's now thankful for.

As for callings, I always thought mine was music. And I worked very, very hard at that for about a decade. That was about 12 years ago or so. Then, quite suddenly, I met my husband and got married. I have to say I really am not so sure music is my calling after all. My husband thinks it is, and sometimes actually gets pissed that I'm not pursing it. I dunno. My comfort zones and interests are in a state of flux.

My husband's calling is obvious. He's a very talented wood carver. He's only recently started talking about developing a personal style with future thoughts of making a living out of selling that which he creates. I'm hoping he can put down the laptop and metal detector enough to actually make it happen.

I think it's very sad when those of us with a pull toward a certain talent can't really pursue it.

[Homicidalheathen]

Even though we get busy and broke and thus spend allot of our time working on things we dont want to we never give up the dream or something inside us dies.

So, mop floor if you have to for food but if all you have is 20 min left in the day to persue your dream do it cause doing it makes you happy and feel fullfilled. If you don't love it that much it is not a calling.

Also, callings take patience and practice.....talent is part god given and part man made.

You have to practice practice practice and always try to do better or improve or expand or it will die.

[kellygrrrrrl]

still looking

[creatureofthenyte]

the only calling I have at the moment is the ringing phone that Im choosing not to answer.

[BrassFusion]

I'm still not sure if my "calling" is music performance or education. Probably education. Oh well, I do both and I'm below the poverty line. At least I'm happy.

[Gauge]

it seems that my calling is to be an overacheiving photographer who will get no hours because the boss is jealous that im better than everyone else.

my real calling is actually that only with more hours. . .and im the boss

[creatureofthenyte]

it seems that my calling is to be an overacheiving photographer who will get no hours because the boss is jealous that im better than everyone else.

my real calling is actually that only with more hours. . .and im the boss

your real calling should be somewhere that will pay better for the talent you have.

[know_buddy_kares]

your real calling should be somewhere that will pay better for the talent you have.

Better yet, try starting your own business... I'm sure mark wouldn't mind you being his boss so long as you slap him around all the time, i hear he likes that

My calling is still behind the veil, right now I'm enjoying the adventures of getting there. I've a feeling that all the bull crap I've gone through the past 7 years is going to amount to something.... and it's just a steady focus of not losing sight at finding out what I'm meant for.

[Steven]

actually I have never equated career aspirations with a "calling" per se, I have always tended to beleive that a "calling" is a much more personal desire that you respond to as you hopefully make an imprint in this life and forever after.

For example I love to sing and perform rock music. I do it well. I've come close to breaking thru. I'm still trying.

I love it almost more than anything, and if I could go on tour tommorow and pay my bills I'd bid you all adiue and hit the trail....

But I dont consider that my "calling"....

I consider that natural gift as just one of the things that define me. And no matter what Im doing career wise, I'll always be performing music. But my actual "calling" is to people, to provide mentorship and to bridge social gaps and to help individuals identify their inner strength. Thats my calling. Yes to a degree I can do that thru music, but I can do it much better face to face over a burritto, or walking alongside someone during a defficult period of their life.

If there is a true calling then one can safely assume there is some form of cognizant power creating and defining that call.....who is calling you? why? I think one of the great traps of society is that we identify oureselves by what we do vocationally, and thats not really YOU - or if it is - then what happens when that foundation gets taken away?

[Gauge]

your real calling should be somewhere that will pay better for the talent you have.

well for around here the pay isnt bad. . .its not great but its the most ive ever been paid and the first job ive had in the feild of photography. so for the professional experience its awsome but she was leading me to believe that i was going to be getting about 35 hours a week. . .well last week i had 11 hours and this week i have 8. . .

ill have my studio someday so for now im sucking it up because i know in the end ill get what i want

[know_buddy_kares]

well for around here the pay isnt bad. . .its not great but its the most ive ever been paid and the first job ive had in the feild of photography. so for the professional experience its awsome but she was leading me to believe that i was going to be getting about 35 hours a week. . .well last week i had 11 hours and this week i have 8. . .

ill have my studio someday so for now im sucking it up because i know in the end ill get what i want

I would be really cautious of this. I worked at this job that promised full time, and only got less than 20 hours a week. I was pissed, and I bitched a storm everyday because I knew they still needed me (no one else before me did the job nearly as good as I did) so they wouldn't threaten to fire me. Eventually I got a better offer and took that. And for all the questions and complaints that went unanswered at that previous job, I figured it would be poetic justice to just not show up anymore and not give an answer as to why. So when I collected my final paycheck, oh they wanted to say something, they demanded an explanation. I simply said, well you'll get that when you tell me why you didn't give me the full time you promised, and all the other questions I asked that you gave no answer to me.

So if they say one thing and do another... they're too damn shady for me. But this has gotten a bit off topic, so I'll stop and let the topic resume. If anyone wants to carry on corporate bullshit convo's, just send me a PM.

[Der Nister]

I have a calling card...............does that count?

[pomba gira]

Mine is teaching special needs children. General ed teaching is OK but I really enjoy working with learning "disabled" and emotionally impaired kids. Maybe there is a connection because so many of them are misunderstood and feel like outsiders... and I've felt that way my whole life. I've also been told I seem to have a gift with autistic children but haven't had enough experience yet to believe that myself. I feel that I'm blessed to have found my calling relatively late in life... I NEVER wanted to be a teacher but I kind of stumbled into it by mistake, and damned if I'm not really good at it.

I could wish, however, that my calling was something that actually paid real $$. Also that someone would pay for me to go back to school so I can actually get a job DOING it. NCLB sucks big donkey dicks.

[creatureofthenyte]

I have a calling, a calling from the porcelain gods, they are calling me to come visit...

[Shade Everdark]

In my mind, there are careers, and there are callings.

I have what would be called a career. I work in accounting and finance. Do I get any deep sense of fullfillment when my debits and credits match? Not really, but I enjoy my work as much as I could expect to.

My husband on the other hand, has it. He has a calling. And it's science. He'll be done with his PhD (or, as I like to call it, the 24th grade) in December. After that, it's probably on to post-doctoral work. And he's frustrated. Here he has shoved 12 years of higher education into his brain and he is looking at being a post-doc which pays an abysmal 35K a year.

Not good.

He says things like 'I should just quit and go work at McDonald's because I'd make more money' and though his math is correct, that line of thinking is dead wrong. He could leave science and look for better paying work, and he might even find it. But he would only be more miserable. He wouldn't be frustrated about the pay anymore, but he would be frustrated about everything else because he would be in a place that he has no business being in. This science thing is hard-wired into him and he can pretend he chose this career, but I know better. He couldn't choose this anymore than he could choose his gender or his national origin.

This is what he was BORN to do. If he doesn't do it, if he throws away this gift for some stupid 401K plan and some extra coin, then he will have WASTED it. Wasted a gift that most people on this planet will never ever have. And if there is anything that makes financial people such as myself grit their teeth, it's waste.

It's the impending birth of the twins thats really gotten him worried lately. The financial burden of two babies is pretty heavy, and that worries him, but I try to remind him that kids require more than food on the table and a roof over their head. I can calculate the NPV of a project, do an actual to forecast analysis, develop a budget, but Guy can explain to you how life works. Yeah, who would YOU rather spend your evenings with?

Some people are fortunate and they're calling is like, fund manager, and those people are billionaires and named Warren Buffet. Most of us have far less profitable callings. And they don't have to be job-related, either. Some people are called to be mothers and fathers. Some people are called to be serve in some way, be it through the military or volunteer service.

So, tell me, what's your calling?

By the way, Guy says mine is writing. I disagree, though I am an awfully good speller.

When I was still in university, I chanced to be surrounded by friends who all had callings. Most of them felt the pull into either pre-med or computer science; it was creepy, since I was the only 'liberal arts' person in the group. Most of my closest friends were even worse. The pre-med guy had wanted to become a doctor since as far back as he could recall. There just wasn't anything else for him. One of the others had grown up around computers, and just didn't much care about anything else (and since that included sex, apparently, we always sort of scratched our heads at him). A third, another comp sci geek, had the calling so far in his blood that he dropped out of school to go do graphics coding for a local company.

I hated them, just a little bit, for that. And hated myself, too, I suppose, for not having a calling, not having a direction, drawing me gently but inexorably toward it, like the tide. Having been around so many others who had it, I felt shiftless and lazy in comparison, though I know, at least in my last year when I had my regular Japanese classes, two different technical translation classes and an at-times-nearly-impossible classical Japanese class, that I was putting in as many hours of study and work as the rest of them.

I've been waiting, and poking about, for the last seven years, trying to find something that pulled at me the way computer science or medicine did for my friends in college. It continues to elude me. Not to sound overly dramatic (okay, blatant lie), but I fear that if I don't find it soon, some part of me will finally wither and die.

[sass_in_the_pants]

I might hazard to disagree with you. I think you're an incredible writer. And I say that with some amount of envy, because at one time, I thought I was destined to be a writer.

But if, like me, being good at something doesn't necessarily equal loving that thing, then I can understand. I liked writing, even had a certain amount of talent, and everybody around me - including my father who isn't known for being particularly complimentary - was sure I should do that for a living.

But I wasn't feeling it. Lyrics? Yes. Books, articles, poetry? Not so much.

If not writing, what do you think your calling might be?

And I can totally relate to your situation with your husband. My own husband is a bit of an under-achiever. He can get scared with challenges at work, and tends toward wanting to take the easy way out - go to a less challenging job. But lately, he's been having realizations that that ain't such a fulfilling path to take through life. He's hanging in there, and actually learning new and valuable skills that he's now thankful for.

As for callings, I always thought mine was music. And I worked very, very hard at that for about a decade. That was about 12 years ago or so. Then, quite suddenly, I met my husband and got married. I have to say I really am not so sure music is my calling after all. My husband thinks it is, and sometimes actually gets pissed that I'm not pursing it. I dunno. My comfort zones and interests are in a state of flux.

My husband's calling is obvious. He's a very talented wood carver. He's only recently started talking about developing a personal style with future thoughts of making a living out of selling that which he creates. I'm hoping he can put down the laptop and metal detector enough to actually make it happen.

I think it's very sad when those of us with a pull toward a certain talent can't really pursue it.

Thanks, FC. That's a very flattering compliment, and I take it to heart.

There is the writing, and when I was younger, I fancied myself to be a 'real' writer, drinking red wine on my back porch and smoking until 4 in the morning. Mind you, I wasn't actually WRITING, the smoking and drinking kept me quite occupied. Then, eventually I quit smoking, and I switched to scotch, so then the actual act of WRITING (rather than talking about writing) began. So, I do peck away...I write little stories here and there, I make these character descriptions (I've never made up one character in my whole life, all the real people I've met have had quite enough personality to do the trick). Maybe I should take that as a hint and approach it more seriously?

Maybe I will...

I get jealous of people like your husband who have a tangible skill, people who can take nothing and make it into something great. I mean, isn't what we're all trying to do? And I can't even put together my stupid Ikea furniture.

[Fierce Critter]

I get jealous of people like your husband who have a tangible skill, people who can take nothing and make it into something great. I mean, isn't what we're all trying to do? And I can't even put together my stupid Ikea furniture.

Yeah, but the problem with having a skill in a creative area is it is the hardest area in which to get actual employment.

Not a lot of call for woodcarvers out there anymore, you know? The best you can hope for is to have enough tourists/rich people with money to blow see your stuff and spread the word.

Best case scenerio, we'd like to see him develop something unique, submit some stock to some galleries & shops in the Traverse City area, and see what happens. Someday, we'd like to move up there and make our living off our talents. Jon with his woodworking, me with my voice (even if it's voice-overs or jingles), or my beadwork.

But it's the sort of thing you have to put off to your spare time while you support yourself with a "day job".

I despise day jobs.

But I do have to say, that besides the creative stuff I do, I have a hell of a knack for getting along with the elderly. I love interacting with old people, hearing their stories, helping them out. If I have to have a real dayjob in the future, it'll definitely be something with the elderly. I might call that a calling, too.

[Msterbeau]

I have two. Being creative and teaching. I enjoy both and I think I'm generally good at both. Not necessarily as jobs... just part of who I am.

[Daniel]

I have the calling to be a giant, radioactive monster that rampages in Tokyo. Unfortunately, I have neither the physical mass or the nuclear requirements to fulfill this calling.

[Steven]

I have two. Being creative and teaching. I enjoy both and I think I'm generally good at both. Not necessarily as jobs... just part of who I am.

see? now that's what I mean.....

[Fierce Critter]

see? now that's what I mean.....

That's how I mean it, too. I don't know if it's coming off that way, but that's definitely what I mean.

It hurts when we can't do something we really love to do. I'd say in a case like that, you've probably identified your "calling".

[Medea]

Well, I don't think it is a calling, but I do think I've finally found something that I can do that will make money for me and also allow me to enjoy my job.

I want to be a hairstylist.

Though I've always get the response "But you're so smart!" when I tell people that this is what I want to do.

I guess you apparently cannot be intelligent AND a hair stylist.

The thing is, for me, it's much more important to be socially stimulated at my job than to be intellectually stimulated. I can get intellectually provoked in many different ways but in order to enjoy my job, I need to interact with people in a positive manner.

[Kit Kat P]

Well, I don't think it is a calling, but I do think I've finally found something that I can do that will make money for me and also allow me to enjoy my job.

I want to be a hairstylist.

Though I've always get the response "But you're so smart!" when I tell people that this is what I want to do.

I guess you apparently cannot be intelligent AND a hair stylist.

The thing is, for me, it's much more important to be socially stimulated at my job than to be intellectually stimulated. I can get intellectually provoked in many different ways but in order to enjoy my job, I need to interact with people in a positive manner.

That's actually why I never went into it and why I moved away from waitressing

[creatureofthenyte]

Well my phone isnt ringing, so I guess I dont have a calling today